John
(#33293872)
Level 1 Imperial
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Energy: 50/50
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Personal Style
Apparel
Skin
Scene
Measurements
Length
25.46 m
Wingspan
21.21 m
Weight
8667.53 kg
Genetics
White
Cherub
Cherub
Obsidian
Butterfly
Butterfly
Silver
Glimmer
Glimmer
Hatchday
Breed
Eye Type
Level 1 Imperial
EXP: 0 / 245
STR
6
AGI
6
DEF
6
QCK
5
INT
8
VIT
8
MND
6
Biography
Gotta move on
Get off my lawn
Swordsmaster John
Whu-chah
Get off my lawn
Swordsmaster John
Whu-chah
TRUE FACTS ABOUT JOHN
1. Comes from long ago/a distant land (alternatively: his sworn enemy is a real bad tree)
2. Saved some dog scientists from slavery
3. Is the sworn enemy of Abu, the transmogrifying king of shadows
4. Something something hairy elephant men
5. Battled Space Bugs - in Space!
6. Doesn't like deserts
7. Can hear real good
8. Battled NegaJohn over a broken sandal
9. Piloted a fish by stomping on its brains
10. Beat an old man to death
11. Made friends with a belligerent ginger
12. Joined a gang out of spite
13. Starred in many classic fairy tales (as told by Abu)
14. Learned how to jump good from a man monkey
15. Has shamelessly punched a baby and an old woman
16. Is not Spartacus (but kind of is tho)
17. Understandably fears and respects large Scottish women
18. Became MechaJohn for about fifteen minutes to destroy some real naughty bots
19. Everyone he ever knew or loved is dead
20. Climbed a mountain just for a life lesson
21. Was forcibly expelled out of a pregnant dragon's anus
22. Got jumped by some real tough lions
23. Beat up like a ton of ghosts
24. Accidentally stole a bag of cats after a small girl stole his underwear
25. Was the plus-one in 301
26. Literally cannot cope with wearing new footwear
27. Sympathizes with the plight of chickens everywhere
28. Kicked and punched a bunch of raving teenagers in the face - for their own good
29. Starred in a sci-fi Western
30. Fought zombies before it was cool
31. Brendan Frasier'd a few Egyptian gods
32. Tried to do a serious thing. Failed.
33. Discovered the worst Ghibli knock-off monster
34. Couldn't identify a scam to save his life
35. Found a haunted house; spent the night there; ghostbusted it afterwards
36. Doesn't understand how time travel really works
37-38. His arch nemesis is an evil space demon born from a forest of real nasty trees, a pit of tar, and a magical flaming poison arrow
39. Isn't very good at diamond heists or making compelling arguments
40. Saved an entire fishing village from several giant robot lobsters and one robot ninja
41. Is a certified Gundam pilot
42. Ain't afraid to school the haters
43. Is a b i t c h to deal with when he's sick
44.
45-46. Thought his name was Brent for a while after some real fly honeys sang the sense right outta him
47. Saved some moths
48. Could probably match wits with a Sicilian
49. Constantly and unconsciously undermines the hard work of others
50. Sweet thing.
51.
52. Traveled with a babt for a little while; accidentally taught it the way of the samurai
MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHED FOR TEN YEARS WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY HE WAS LEAVING
53. Busted onto the scene wearing a dope-*** suit of armor and riding on a sick motorcycle with blades for wheels, ackin like we aint gon notice he been gone and that he lost his SWORD DAMMIT JOHN
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Exalting John to the service of the Windsinger will remove them from your lair forever. They will leave behind a small sum of riches that they have accumulated. This action is irreversible.
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