Shakespeare

I just don’t get it
How a mediocre actor from a measly little town
Is suddenly the brightest jewel in England’s royal crown
Oh God I hate Shakespeare
His plays are wordy but OH NO!
The “great” Shakespeare!
That little turd
He has no sense about the audience he makes them feel so dumb
The ******* doesn’t care that my poor *** is getting numb

Jeez, you sound just like him!

You should hate Shakespeare!

Well there’s your problem! You’re so blinded by “The Bard” who’s such a pompous little man

Cause he’s a hack
With a knack
For stealing anything he can

And that’s ANOTHER thing I hate about Shakespeare!
Is all the twits who bloviate about Shakespeare!
And how they prattle on about his great accomplishments, well la-di-da-di-dah!
And once they start their gushing there’s no stopping them
And then it’s “blah blah blah blah blah Shakespeare!”
And he walks in, it’s “dum da dum ta da Shakespeare!!!!!!!!”
He’s holding court and they say “Will you’re such a genius and your writing is divine,
A rose by any other name is such a clever line!”
And they’re all “ooh!” and he’s all “stop” and they’re all “yay” and I’m all “bleeegh”
And I’m REALLY getting sick of it!
And oh, oh, oh, oh, I HATE SHAKESPEARE!

Shmakespeare!
The way he feigns humility when all he does is gloat
The way he wears that silly frilly collar ‘round his throat
The poster child for why no one should ever procreate
Let me make a shorter list so I can give it to you straight:
Every little thing about Shakespeare
Is what I hate!