Kekipi

⊥S∀O⊥ ⊥R∀ ∩OH⊥

Great, now I'm dead AND gay.

HE'S FIRING A NUKE! Wait no, that's a water balloon

You're right, breaking her heart with a rose is way more romantic!

Oh, and the name of your horse is... Horse, right? (sincerely) Horse! What a lovely name!

Lightning punches tiny flights and laughs, probably
-Squidragon

(frustrated) Why are lawyers so flammable?

We have wins, we have upsets, we have draws, we have losses, we have crying, we have Nanners-

We're just gonna call him Steve, and we're not going to like him.

Rise, my children, and pluck this dweeb from the air!

See, I'm in the middle of collecting signatures for my petitions, Garden Gnomes Have Rights.

What killed the ice age? The Dinosaurs!!

I'm hot, and I don't become toast.
Yeah, we also- we don't put you in toasters. Usually.

That's why there hasn't been any forest fires in my house in the past five years!
W- What happened five years ago?
*quietly*We're not going to talk about that.

Hashtag winners don't bully bananas, they just eat them.

McKrakenface- O'Cthulu

A radioactive possum just bit you... what superpower did you get?
Uh, probably rabies?

Business idea: Set the building on fire and charge an exit fee.
Date idea: Dinner and a movie, only the dinner is arson and the movie is also arson.

(Jaw unhinges, bees pour out.)

Names don't mean anything. I once had a client named "Ike Illedaguy" and he was totally innocent.

He was a skater boi, she said me hoy mi noy

¡ʞϽ∀q ʞOO˥ ᴚƎΛƎN ᗡN∀ MON ƎΛ∀Ǝ˥ ¡N∩ᴚ
Are... Uh... Are you holding the phone upside down?
Ugh... I totally was.

... and if you encounter one, don't panic! Simply turn around and run screaming for your life.

"No Shadowclan cat could ever be trusted!" - Breezepelt

Two dumbs don't make a right!

The gods have spoken- Screw that guy in particular!

It's over Hutch he has the morally high ground

God rest her soul because she's dead to me.

"If I didn't know better... I'd think you were the devil."
"Then you must not know better."

If I could do anything, I would eradicate three colors. Yellow, silver, and then silver again.

“who the hell is bucky???” -bucky

"So... Who are you?"
"I ask the questions."
"Okay... Then do you mind asking yourself who you are?"

"Gunfire in the situation room!"
"That's a situation get to the second situation room"

My friends call me that. So don't.

"Okay, your punishment is...no Xbox for a week."
"We don't have an Xbox."
"You will in a week."

Oops! I appear to be dead.

... Mage, Celestrian and Guardian. We rejoice at your return to the Observatory... But please, take that feather out of your hat! You look like an idiot.

Sign: WARNIN! You ave bin warned.

I only know how to tell the gender of ants. You put them in water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant.

No toys... no arm... Nugget is having a bad day at the new school.

Somewhere between not wrong and not entirely right is where I live my life.

-But I also like opening refrigerators, I find it soothing.

Your blue eyes remind me of the grass

"How do people even have like- how do they look after other people, like having kids? How do you do it? I just don't get it."
...
"I think I was supposed to be born, like I dunno. A snail or something."

What if I take a tumble and do myself a mischief?"

"Is there any downside to being 86% umbrella?"



Ambassador of Explosions



Midnight/storm/plum