Flashbang

Seraph was out looking for productive characters when she stumbled across Flashbang, who was lounging around at the Auction House.

"Look, I'll be frank," Seraph said. "This lair I lord--something has gone dreadfully wrong with it. We've got an anti-christ, we've got like seven bizarre heralds of the end times, we've got a super sexy dragon, we've got one that thinks she's a bee for gods' sake. Nobody knows what's going on and I need someone who can help with hunting and gathering and basically keeping us together. In exchange, we won't kick you up to the gods. Is this something you can help me with?"

"I'm the fastest ever," said Flashbang.

"Errr, in what way?"

"Watch me," said Flashbang.

With that, Flashbang launched out of the Auction House. I use the word "launch" because there was a concussive blast and a shockwave that knocked a host of dragons flat on their backs.

Seraph was still lying on the ground looking at clouds when Flashbang smashed into the ground beside her.

"I've already been to your lair," said Flashbang. "I like it. I'll live there."

"Oh," said Seraph. "Wait, where am I?"

"See you at home," said Flashbang, and launched off again.

The destruction was vast, but at least nobody pinned it on the lair, and Seraph skulked home late that night unsure of what exactly she had done.