MorningStar

I remember the first time I had decided to settle down. When I was in my youth I never wanted to settle down. In fact it used to be adventure after adventure. I remember traveling to other areas and seeing other Guardians who had settled down. Back then I had scoffed at the very idea of myself settling down, how could I when I was having so much fun.

However as the years and months dragged on I got more and more lonely. There were less adventures to be had and more time that I spent just flying in the sky. It was about that time that I started to become jealous of all the other Guardians that I had met.

So I made an attempt to settle down. I came back to the light domain where my egg was hatched, I found a nice area and I attempted to make a clan. What I did not know at the time was that I happened upon a area that was already claimed by a clan. They were rightly protective of what was theirs. I did not understand. I had just wanted a place of my own why could they not understand that. So I was chased off of the land.

I saw being chased off as a sign from my deity. I had not settled earlier and so she did not want me. I was wrong but that is where my thoughts were taking me. And so I ran off to all the other lands, anywhere as long as I was away from my deity, it was a dark period that time. My thoughts were constantly between going to Lightweaver and giving myself in Heavenly duty to make up for my transgressions or just ending everything.

However it was also during this time that I met with some dragons that saved me. They told me the error of my ways. They told me that my deity loved me and that I had committed no wrong against her, even though my trying to settle on another's territory was wrong and I should have never done that, they encouraged me to go back and try settling again.

The only reason I did not was because of one simple reason. I was terrified of rejection. I wanted so badly to be a part of, however, I continued my travels. There was one drake in particular that helped me come back and face my fears. His name was Boneshell and he was a Ridgeback and he was also traveling. For a while we traveled together.

He already had a Clan, a home to call his own and when he was tired of traveling he told me it was time for him to go back. I did not want him to go and I told him as much. He was my friend and I was tired of all this traveling on and on by myself. However he wanted to go back and he let me follow.

When I met his clan I was in awe. His clan was not the biggest, however they were tight knit, they all welcomed Boneshell back warmly and they had no qualms with welcoming a total stranger. I stayed for not even a fortnight but I loved my time there. So when I left I knew what I was going to do.

I went back to Lightweaver and I begged to be allowed my own space, a place to call my own. It was as simple as pledging my loyalty and then that was the end of that. Lightweaver gave me a space for my clan as well as another castaway. His name was Char and at first we were very uncomfortable together. He being very laid back and go with the flow irritating me and my need for order.

It was with Char that I learned how to be a leader. It was with him that I learned I could not control every little thing and that if I wanted to lead a clan in Lightweaver's honor then I needed to let go of some of my more stricter policy's and I needed to have fun. It was then that I truly stepped up to become leader of my clan.

I had my first clutch with Char and at first I thought that would mean Char and I being together as mates. Forever. However Char had laughed and told me that we did not have to make such commitments to one another. To be honest I was relieved.

But then something amazing happened. By Lightweaver grace my clan slowly started to grow. Before either of my children where even hatched we had a good number of dragons. From all over. It was nerve wreaking because they all look up to me. In the beginning I faltered. With as many dragons as there are I did not know weather I was supposed to become kinder to everyone or to become even more strict.

However I soon became accustomed to everyone looking to me for support or questions or just to stop and talk. I realized then that these dragons recognized my faults, they realized I was not perfect. I was more of a stand off ish leader. I may seem cold and unapproachable and I may be strict, however I realized, these dragons didn't care because they cared that I cared.

They realized or better yet knew from the start, that I only do what I do for the good of the clan. And yet they all still love me as I am. Some of them may not like my policy's but in the end they all still stayed and loved it here.

I am just glad I have been able to make a safe loving environment for all these dragons. Because no matter how much others may gossip about how much I do not care or that I am a cold unfeeling dragoness. The opposite is true. I love all of these dragons in my care. I worry about them daily. I worry about my decisions. I love all of those under my care and I care not what others will say because all that matters is that they are happy.

I can live with anything else that follows.

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