Hello everyone! I'm a 3D animator working on a movie for our graduation with a bunch of other people, and since the last examination of our project, we have had to rework a the scenario a little, and I feel like other people in the group are having a change of heart about the ending.
Thing is, our character is basically prey for the environment it got lost in, and we ended the story killing it after a short chase and a hunting phase. At least, until everyone started to feel like sugarcoating the whole thing and ends up wanting the giant geological trap that is our environement to lose through a miracle
So here's the story in short, so you get a hang of the situation before commenting.
The setting is a weird, canyon-like place with no signs of plant life whatsoever. The only other element that isn't a broken rocklike landscape are yellow-ish crystals that glow faintly here and there in the environment (Note: these are the predatorial environment's "sensors" and trap activation device. Think of it as that good smell that would attract insects in a flytrap)
A strange, dark coloured quadruped without any facial features roams around, looking fearful of it's surroundings. It traverses and exits the canyon, carefully not touching anything.
Upon exiting the canyon, it walks away from it, but it's attention is caught by a crystal. It hesitates for a while, but ends up touching it and absorbing it's inner light, that now glows within it's body.
Suddently the ground shatters relatively far away, and a colum of light rises from the ground, emitting a light shockwave all around it. The creature flees, trying to go hide in the canyon.
Another column emerges before it, preventing it to access the canyon, so the creature flees in another direction to try and not get caught in any sort of light. Ensues a "hunting scene", where the creature gets redirected and redirected until it has nowhere else to go, and the ground trembles below it and starts emitting a stronger and stronger light.
We cut the scene without showing the creature being engulfed in the last column of light, and then we see the environment return to it's original state, and the lightless crystal the creature touched regains its shine.
The trap is ready to activate again for the next intruder.
Now what do you think? Do you like the story as it is?
It is such a mistake to have an allusion that the creature is caught and doesn't survive?
Would this ending hurt your feelings as spectators, or would you think it's just logical in such a universe that the predator eventually catches it's prey?
If you do feel like it's an error to kill this character, do you think we could work with another ending situation? If so, which?
Feel free to answer what you feel like answering, and go ahead and express yourself about things I may not have mentionned, everything you say is interesting to me!
Hello everyone! I'm a 3D animator working on a movie for our graduation with a bunch of other people, and since the last examination of our project, we have had to rework a the scenario a little, and I feel like other people in the group are having a change of heart about the ending.
Thing is, our character is basically prey for the environment it got lost in, and we ended the story killing it after a short chase and a hunting phase. At least, until everyone started to feel like sugarcoating the whole thing and ends up wanting the giant geological trap that is our environement to lose through a miracle
So here's the story in short, so you get a hang of the situation before commenting.
The setting is a weird, canyon-like place with no signs of plant life whatsoever. The only other element that isn't a broken rocklike landscape are yellow-ish crystals that glow faintly here and there in the environment (Note: these are the predatorial environment's "sensors" and trap activation device. Think of it as that good smell that would attract insects in a flytrap)
A strange, dark coloured quadruped without any facial features roams around, looking fearful of it's surroundings. It traverses and exits the canyon, carefully not touching anything.
Upon exiting the canyon, it walks away from it, but it's attention is caught by a crystal. It hesitates for a while, but ends up touching it and absorbing it's inner light, that now glows within it's body.
Suddently the ground shatters relatively far away, and a colum of light rises from the ground, emitting a light shockwave all around it. The creature flees, trying to go hide in the canyon.
Another column emerges before it, preventing it to access the canyon, so the creature flees in another direction to try and not get caught in any sort of light. Ensues a "hunting scene", where the creature gets redirected and redirected until it has nowhere else to go, and the ground trembles below it and starts emitting a stronger and stronger light.
We cut the scene without showing the creature being engulfed in the last column of light, and then we see the environment return to it's original state, and the lightless crystal the creature touched regains its shine.
The trap is ready to activate again for the next intruder.
Now what do you think? Do you like the story as it is?
It is such a mistake to have an allusion that the creature is caught and doesn't survive?
Would this ending hurt your feelings as spectators, or would you think it's just logical in such a universe that the predator eventually catches it's prey?
If you do feel like it's an error to kill this character, do you think we could work with another ending situation? If so, which?
Feel free to answer what you feel like answering, and go ahead and express yourself about things I may not have mentionned, everything you say is interesting to me!
I don't think killing the fourlegs is a bad idea, but it feels like it might need a little more foreshadowing before the end? Increase suspense. Let the audience know that something is going to happen without necessarily knowing what. Reworking the crystals a bit might help with that. Or showing evidence of past victims. Just a few little background nudges.
I don't know what your timing is like, but I'd say give us a beat or two between the fourlegs absorbing the light and the trap being sprung. Just long enough to lull us (and the lunchmeat) into a false sense of security.
Random other thought: when you cut away from from the death, will we be able to see some kind of pattern to the crystals that wasn't obvious from the victim's POV?
I don't think killing the fourlegs is a bad idea, but it feels like it might need a little more foreshadowing before the end? Increase suspense. Let the audience know that something is going to happen without necessarily knowing what. Reworking the crystals a bit might help with that. Or showing evidence of past victims. Just a few little background nudges.
I don't know what your timing is like, but I'd say give us a beat or two between the fourlegs absorbing the light and the trap being sprung. Just long enough to lull us (and the lunchmeat) into a false sense of security.
Random other thought: when you cut away from from the death, will we be able to see some kind of pattern to the crystals that wasn't obvious from the victim's POV?
Aliit. Buirkan. Tor.
I think it's just fine. It switches the focus to the environment rather than the creature, making it sort of the actual main character (if that's what you're going for). That kind of abrupt ending is great food for thought and a lot less expected, which is always great.
I think for the end after the creature is killed (and after maybe a dramatic pause for time), you should show another hapless creature (perhaps a different type so people don't get confused) ready to get swallowed. It'll then feel like an endless cycle of this environment constantly hunting versus "you ****** off this crystal." It'll drive home the fact that this is indeed a living environment that hunts.
So yeah let's say the crystals are dark and everything is calm for a while after the first creature. We have a shot of a large part of the environment that includes the crystals in the foreground perhaps. Then another creature stumbles in somewhere in the shot, probably in the background. The crystals gently reactivate, and then the scene fades to black. That's my opinion on an ending.
Otherwise I like this and would like to see it when you guys are done :P
I think it's just fine. It switches the focus to the environment rather than the creature, making it sort of the actual main character (if that's what you're going for). That kind of abrupt ending is great food for thought and a lot less expected, which is always great.
I think for the end after the creature is killed (and after maybe a dramatic pause for time), you should show another hapless creature (perhaps a different type so people don't get confused) ready to get swallowed. It'll then feel like an endless cycle of this environment constantly hunting versus "you ****** off this crystal." It'll drive home the fact that this is indeed a living environment that hunts.
So yeah let's say the crystals are dark and everything is calm for a while after the first creature. We have a shot of a large part of the environment that includes the crystals in the foreground perhaps. Then another creature stumbles in somewhere in the shot, probably in the background. The crystals gently reactivate, and then the scene fades to black. That's my opinion on an ending.
Otherwise I like this and would like to see it when you guys are done :P
^click the eggs/dragons!^
I like everything you mentioned save for one thing. When the creature touches the crystal it sounds to me like it robs the crystal of its light. At the end though, the light is restored to the crystal due to the creature's being caught. The trap doesn't really seem to have a purpose, its just running in a cycle that isn't doing anything obvious of itself. It might be more complete if there was a visible incentive for the trap.
I like everything you mentioned save for one thing. When the creature touches the crystal it sounds to me like it robs the crystal of its light. At the end though, the light is restored to the crystal due to the creature's being caught. The trap doesn't really seem to have a purpose, its just running in a cycle that isn't doing anything obvious of itself. It might be more complete if there was a visible incentive for the trap.
What's the message/theme you're working towards, exactly? I'm reading a sort of 'nature is brutal' thing. The living environment thing sounds pretty unique, I rather like that - but if that is the message you're going for, it would be cool to bring it home more by opening it with the 4-legged creature hunting some other prey - a mouselike thing or an insect - and ends up following it into the dangerous environment, which then eats the hunter. If you wanted a slightly more optimistic ending, you could have the mouse creature get away - so then it's like the mouse was clever for leading the predator into a trap - or if you wanted to make it more fatalistic then you could have the mouse get eaten by the predator just before the environment 'attacks'. That way, you have a bit of irony in the ending, so the story would probably feel more satisfying, and the theme would be clearer.
What's the message/theme you're working towards, exactly? I'm reading a sort of 'nature is brutal' thing. The living environment thing sounds pretty unique, I rather like that - but if that is the message you're going for, it would be cool to bring it home more by opening it with the 4-legged creature hunting some other prey - a mouselike thing or an insect - and ends up following it into the dangerous environment, which then eats the hunter. If you wanted a slightly more optimistic ending, you could have the mouse creature get away - so then it's like the mouse was clever for leading the predator into a trap - or if you wanted to make it more fatalistic then you could have the mouse get eaten by the predator just before the environment 'attacks'. That way, you have a bit of irony in the ending, so the story would probably feel more satisfying, and the theme would be clearer.
