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TOPIC | Out there, waiting for me. [Short story]
A little one-shot short story I wrote based on my two dragons. I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this, but here it stays until someone points me in a better direction. Critiques are welcome. Especially since I'm not completely familiar with the Flight Rising world (I did my best though).


To stand in the Star Wood at night is to be embraced by an infinite universe...

The curious blue-green Tundra darted through the woods, blissfully lost in the lightly glowing flora, taking in the ocean air as she indulged herself in peace and a little exercise, stopping only occasionally for her company...

"Selene!" Cried the Guardian straggling behind her. He wasn't used to the terrain, having spent most of his life nearer Focal Point, and would often trip on roots or not dodge a tree in time. His dark blue skin would have made it almost impossible to see him in the dark, had it not been for his light goldenrod wings and beard. His voice was deep, and usually intimidating. Tonight was different. "You're going to hurt yourself playing around like this."

"No way." The Tundra replied, her voice soft, but not weak. "I'm just running. Haven't you run before?"

"Of course I ran before! That's not the point!" He replied harshly but quietly. "Keep your voice down! These woods are dangerous at night..."

The Tundra gave him a caring but somewhat dismissing smile, and continued onward. The Guardian sighs, and looks around wearily, on alert in case something hiding in the shadows were to pounce on his charge. He actually didn't know that these woods were at all dangerous except from word of mouth. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry. They continued to run together, two streaks of blue against the pink of the Arcanist's lands. Soon they reached a cliff's edge, where only a small strip of sea separates them and Focal Point. It was here that the Tundra finally decided to rest, sitting down and taking a nice deep breath before contently admiring the view. The Guardian caught up and sat next to her. He huffed and gave her a concerned look.

"...Are you tired?" He asked.

"No." She answered bluntly, mesmerized by the golden Observatory, the centerpiece of the Starfall Isles. "...What do you think he's writing about?"

"Who?"

She looked at him, shocked. Was he really that dense? "Who else? The Arcanist!"

"Oh!" He looked away a bit, and adjusted his navy leg straps. "Who knows..."

"Aren't you curious?" She couldn't believe him. "What kind of Arcane are you?"

He pulled away defensively, somewhat offended. "What do you mean?"

"He probably knows everything about the world we know." She looks back to the Observatory, eyes shining with wonder. "What kind of deep mysterious secret do you think he's unlocking right now?"

The Guardian sighed, and laid down on the ground, kind of tired. The Tundra started filling up with contempt. "Why don't you wonder! Arcane is about dreaming and wondering and curiousity!"

"Oh hush." The Guardian sighed, and looked away. "...I could never... wrap my head around that kind of stuff."

The Tundra looks at him curiously. "...What do you mean?"

"...I do wonder..." He sat up again, looking up at the sky. "...I wonder what it all means... I wonder what kind of things are out there... but the more I try to think about it... the more I feel lost... powerless..."

The Tundra pouted a bit, and leaned against him comfortingly. "Des..."

"...All the other Arcane seem so wise... so in touch with the universe..." He dips his head in shame. "Yet here I am, unable to fathom what's in this forest, let alone out there in the cosmos..."

"...If I were you... I woulda left..." She pulls away a bit, kind of depressed that her friend doesn't feel right. She stands up, getting ready to head back to the lair...

"...I might have... Maybe gone with the light dragons... but..." He stands up as well, and looks back up at the stars.

"...Something... calls to me... tells me to stay...

"I don't know what... but... I look into the skies... I look into the stars at night and I feel like... like everything is there... the universe in all its glory is out there, calling me to discover it...

"Waiting for me..."
A little one-shot short story I wrote based on my two dragons. I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this, but here it stays until someone points me in a better direction. Critiques are welcome. Especially since I'm not completely familiar with the Flight Rising world (I did my best though).


To stand in the Star Wood at night is to be embraced by an infinite universe...

The curious blue-green Tundra darted through the woods, blissfully lost in the lightly glowing flora, taking in the ocean air as she indulged herself in peace and a little exercise, stopping only occasionally for her company...

"Selene!" Cried the Guardian straggling behind her. He wasn't used to the terrain, having spent most of his life nearer Focal Point, and would often trip on roots or not dodge a tree in time. His dark blue skin would have made it almost impossible to see him in the dark, had it not been for his light goldenrod wings and beard. His voice was deep, and usually intimidating. Tonight was different. "You're going to hurt yourself playing around like this."

"No way." The Tundra replied, her voice soft, but not weak. "I'm just running. Haven't you run before?"

"Of course I ran before! That's not the point!" He replied harshly but quietly. "Keep your voice down! These woods are dangerous at night..."

The Tundra gave him a caring but somewhat dismissing smile, and continued onward. The Guardian sighs, and looks around wearily, on alert in case something hiding in the shadows were to pounce on his charge. He actually didn't know that these woods were at all dangerous except from word of mouth. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry. They continued to run together, two streaks of blue against the pink of the Arcanist's lands. Soon they reached a cliff's edge, where only a small strip of sea separates them and Focal Point. It was here that the Tundra finally decided to rest, sitting down and taking a nice deep breath before contently admiring the view. The Guardian caught up and sat next to her. He huffed and gave her a concerned look.

"...Are you tired?" He asked.

"No." She answered bluntly, mesmerized by the golden Observatory, the centerpiece of the Starfall Isles. "...What do you think he's writing about?"

"Who?"

She looked at him, shocked. Was he really that dense? "Who else? The Arcanist!"

"Oh!" He looked away a bit, and adjusted his navy leg straps. "Who knows..."

"Aren't you curious?" She couldn't believe him. "What kind of Arcane are you?"

He pulled away defensively, somewhat offended. "What do you mean?"

"He probably knows everything about the world we know." She looks back to the Observatory, eyes shining with wonder. "What kind of deep mysterious secret do you think he's unlocking right now?"

The Guardian sighed, and laid down on the ground, kind of tired. The Tundra started filling up with contempt. "Why don't you wonder! Arcane is about dreaming and wondering and curiousity!"

"Oh hush." The Guardian sighed, and looked away. "...I could never... wrap my head around that kind of stuff."

The Tundra looks at him curiously. "...What do you mean?"

"...I do wonder..." He sat up again, looking up at the sky. "...I wonder what it all means... I wonder what kind of things are out there... but the more I try to think about it... the more I feel lost... powerless..."

The Tundra pouted a bit, and leaned against him comfortingly. "Des..."

"...All the other Arcane seem so wise... so in touch with the universe..." He dips his head in shame. "Yet here I am, unable to fathom what's in this forest, let alone out there in the cosmos..."

"...If I were you... I woulda left..." She pulls away a bit, kind of depressed that her friend doesn't feel right. She stands up, getting ready to head back to the lair...

"...I might have... Maybe gone with the light dragons... but..." He stands up as well, and looks back up at the stars.

"...Something... calls to me... tells me to stay...

"I don't know what... but... I look into the skies... I look into the stars at night and I feel like... like everything is there... the universe in all its glory is out there, calling me to discover it...

"Waiting for me..."
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I don't know much about Flight Rising either, being a noobie as well. This is a really interesting story, though, and I can easily see your dragons characteristics in my head. One nitpicky thing that caught me was the sudden POV shift near the end, it was kinda jarring. Maybe just stick to either 3rd person POV or 1st person? Other than that, this is pretty good and I'd love to read other short stories you come up with on this site. ^^
I don't know much about Flight Rising either, being a noobie as well. This is a really interesting story, though, and I can easily see your dragons characteristics in my head. One nitpicky thing that caught me was the sudden POV shift near the end, it was kinda jarring. Maybe just stick to either 3rd person POV or 1st person? Other than that, this is pretty good and I'd love to read other short stories you come up with on this site. ^^
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Thanks! And, heh, I just forgot to add the subsequent quotation marks. Thanks for pointing that out!
Thanks! And, heh, I just forgot to add the subsequent quotation marks. Thanks for pointing that out!
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Hmm, this seems fresh. Been a long time since I stopped by this section of the forums.

I like how smoothly the story flows. It's not too detailed to lose interest, simple enough to not get complicated. One thing though, the "..." dialogue near the end. I dunno, it looks right but somehow I think it could have been... formed a different way? The flow kinda got bumpy for me there.

Anywho, I hope to see more from you. ^_^ I hope I didn't... critique too roughly.
Hmm, this seems fresh. Been a long time since I stopped by this section of the forums.

I like how smoothly the story flows. It's not too detailed to lose interest, simple enough to not get complicated. One thing though, the "..." dialogue near the end. I dunno, it looks right but somehow I think it could have been... formed a different way? The flow kinda got bumpy for me there.

Anywho, I hope to see more from you. ^_^ I hope I didn't... critique too roughly.
Nice! I like your story, will you be posting more?

I have also been writing down stories about my dragons buy they are all down on paper...and I just keep getting more rather than typing them up on here -facepalm-
Nice! I like your story, will you be posting more?

I have also been writing down stories about my dragons buy they are all down on paper...and I just keep getting more rather than typing them up on here -facepalm-