Hey, I was just working on one of my dragons' stories and was wanting someone to read and tell me what they thought? It's also not finished and a VERY rough draft so far.
http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=lair&id=77498&tab=dragon&did=6136317
Here's a link to his page.
Ah sacré papa! Dis moi où es-tu caché? Ça doit faire au moins mille fois que j'ai compté mes doigts! Hé! Où t'es? Papaoutai? Papaoutai by Stromae 
Oh my dear father! Tell me where are you hiding? I must’ve counted my fingers at least a thousand times! Hey! Where are you dad, where are you? 
@
SeragakiGirl
there are a few grammatical errors in your bio, and I'm not so sure about the formatting of the bio (there's a dot in the middle of two paragraphs o.0)
also I'm assuming this is in dragon time because leaving a six year old by himself and disappearing would likely get him killed :p I'm a little unsure on the timeline in his bio; it could cause a little confusion, so maybe put the history of the kingdoms in a slightly smaller text so people who read the bio will recognize it as background info in addition to leaving it in italics.
\(o.o)/ hope it helps ^.^
@
SeragakiGirl
there are a few grammatical errors in your bio, and I'm not so sure about the formatting of the bio (there's a dot in the middle of two paragraphs o.0)
also I'm assuming this is in dragon time because leaving a six year old by himself and disappearing would likely get him killed :p I'm a little unsure on the timeline in his bio; it could cause a little confusion, so maybe put the history of the kingdoms in a slightly smaller text so people who read the bio will recognize it as background info in addition to leaving it in italics.
\(o.o)/ hope it helps ^.^
@
shanncrafter Thanks for the critique! It definitely helped me make sure I let people know that this was his human story and not dragon lore. And kinda let people know what my formatting was doing in the bio. Since I'm still in the works with the story (It's a long one for sure). ^u^ Hope you are having an awesome day~! ^ (^u^)>
@
shanncrafter Thanks for the critique! It definitely helped me make sure I let people know that this was his human story and not dragon lore. And kinda let people know what my formatting was doing in the bio. Since I'm still in the works with the story (It's a long one for sure). ^u^ Hope you are having an awesome day~! ^ (^u^)>
Ah sacré papa! Dis moi où es-tu caché? Ça doit faire au moins mille fois que j'ai compté mes doigts! Hé! Où t'es? Papaoutai? Papaoutai by Stromae
Oh my dear father! Tell me where are you hiding? I must’ve counted my fingers at least a thousand times! Hey! Where are you dad, where are you?
