MAN I'm gonna take a break from writing my speech about nuclear energy to talk about GARMADAD MY BELOVED

I had to read through the Ninjago Wiki page on him to get the first parts of his backstory so bear with me.

Garmadon was born to this guy who is basically God and created the world he lived in. He has one younger brother, Wu, who remain close throughout the years, even though they're complete opposites: Wu was the embodiment of creation and good, and while Garmadon was good at heart, he tended to act more chaotic and destructively than his brother.

Then Garm actually became bad after he was bitten by this snake that literally infected his blood and made him completely evil, sort of against his will. This drastically changed his personality and made him more volatile while also shortening his temper severely.

Somewhere in here, he falls in love with a woman named Misako, who will be important later. Garmadon leaves for a bit and becomes a Lord, but comes back to join up with Wu to fight snakes. No I'm not kidding about that part, but they did win.

There was another war after this, something to do with these twins and time travel - they win again, surprise surprise. After this, Misako and Garmadon got married, and had a son, Lloyd, who Garm loved with his entire being and tried to keep from becoming evil like he was.



At some point, Garmadon literally can not ignore the evil venom telling him to commit crimes, so he does a light bit of stealing from Wu and gets disfigured and banished into slightly-more-child-friendly hell. He takes that over, becomes the ruler down there, tries to commit more theft against fruit-colored people - you know, normal things for an evil Lord to do.

Unbeknownst to him, in the normal world, his wife (?) has actually now abandoned their son at a boarding academy and basically leaves to go explore a temple or something. Garmadon believes his son is still safe with his mother, but Wu comes back and tells him that Lloyd's actually been kidnapped, so he basically goes "Oh, crap," stops trying to murder his brother, and comes to save his son.

He then saves his son - twice! - from more snakes, kills another larger snake, makes a big golden weapon thing, gets possessed by a malicious spirit, tries to murder his son - twice, again - and then turns into a dragon. Then he becomes, like- normal? Again? Human, I guess? Anyhow, Garm gets to finally bond with his child he has not seen grow up because he was, you know, banished.

Surprise though! Some evil guy who taught him how to commit crimes is alive and wants to kidnap his son, so Garmadon gets turned into a snake-person and then later sacrifices himself to save everyone.

He proceeds to be dead for like, 4 seasons.



But the show-writers couldn't let him just be dead, because they knew he was the funniest character in the cast, so Lloyd's extremely manipulative kind-of girlfriend then summons him from the dead, but only the "evil part" of him. He immediately causes some property damage, disowns his own son on live television, and then beats the ever-loving crap out of him.

Yeah, it gets dark. This was in a kids show, too!

Garmadon then becomes a dictator over an entire city and keeps trying to find his son so he can actually kill him, but Lloyd kinda pulls an Uno reverse card and defeats him instead. Then he gets re-released from jail to fight these demon people, watches his son die, does nothing about that, and leaves for the next 4 or so seasons.

HE COMES BACK AGAIN, and has apparently just been in the city this whole time. He's also replaced Lloyd with a literal fern. Lloyd is not happy about this fact, but Garmadon does not care because they have to go fight rock people and also the evil spirit that possessed him some 13 seasons ago. They win, and Garm just kind of...un-disowns his kid and tries to fix their relationship.

And that's the last we see of him!



One really important thing to take out of this is that Garmadon is truly a good person and cares a lot about his little family, but just got screwed over by life. He's a really good dad to Lloyd, even in the beginning when he's evil, and cares for him so much. The relationship the two of them have was one of my favorite parts of the show, even when I was young. I think it kind of reminded me of the relationship I have with my dad.

I wasn't lying about him being the funniest character either; that's plain fact. Garmadon's very much a dry sarcasm kind of guy, and he's old (100+ years) so he just seems completely done with everything 120% of the time.

But yeah, that's Garmadad! God I need to edit this so bad why is it so LONG lord