Background info: Nevelmaul is a freelance healer who was 'hired' to be a full-time medic/healer for a clan. During his freelance healer duties, he also had to fight in some battles. Him being a fae and having an affinity for plants and crystals has allowed for him to have some fortune telling and future sight abilities. These abilities tend to be limited, and they often are tied to some sort of knowledge of ones fate. Ones fate can be changed, but if someone diverges from their 'fate' Nevelmaul can not see their future anymore. Desdemona is a performer (exact kind left up to interpretation) who performs with her group of friends. She is basically a gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss kinda character. But she is also big in the arts and loves seeing/learning about different kinds of art. She has a lot of confidence and puts up a big stage persona of being a flirty, confident, extroverted individual as that was the role she decided on with her group. However, she is not all too interested in romance, as she only sees the flirting as a way to practice socalising and becoming more confident with stuff. Essentially a form of practice for her stage persona. IMPORTANT NOTE: This story does mention some heavier topics.

Nevelmaul sighed as he turned a small blue crystal over in his hands. In the light, its hue shifted to a vibrant cyan with hints of a deep purple. No matter what he did, he couldn't forget about her. The one he had unwittingly fallen for. He knew that falling in love was a risk, especially in his field. While many healers were able to easily fall in love with no issues, Nevelmaul always found it to be a struggle. He felt romantic feelings of course, but he was afraid of the consequences. What happens if they don't feel the same way? What if they get injured and he can't get there in time to save them? The questions swirled in his head constantly. He eventually forced himself into a mindset that pursuing a relationship, or any sort of platonic or non-platonic close bond would be selfish. In this world, you never know when those who you are close to will be ripped from you, leaving you reeling in the wake of their loss.

Nevelmaul's train of thought is interrupted by heavy footsteps and a loud crash. He freezes and sets the crystal down gently. Reaching for a hidden blade, he exits his private quarters and peers into the medbay. Right away, he finds the source of the commotion. A very sheepish looking Gaoler stands next to newly damaged examination table. Nevelmaul gives a pointed glare to the Gaoler before it speaks up, apologising for the damage and offering to fix it.

"Its fine. I can repair it myself. What is it that you need?"

Nevelmaul stares down the Gaoler, frills lowered, waiting for a response. The Gaoler silently gestures to his left wing, which is hanging limply by his side. Nevelmaul gives the Gaoler a curt nod and begins to gather materials to make a splint. An hour passes and the Gaoler's broken wing has been wrapped up and placed in a splint.

"Be careful to not move it too much or else the break will worsen. Next time don't come barreling in and destroying my equipment unless you want to leave with more injuries than you came in with."

The Gaoler nods quickly and leaves, his tail brushing against a pot with a small budding branch. Nevelmaul's body tenses up as he watches the pot intently, making sure it doesn't fall and break. When the pot steadies itself, Nevelmaul relaxes his body. He doesn't know what he would've done had the plant become damaged. He grumbles about how clumsy some of his clanmates are before gently lifting the pot and carrying it back into his private quarters, placing it next to a similar plant.

"I'm sorry. I know the location is not ideal, but I can't risk losing you. Not again."

---

Nevelmaul didn't realise he was crying until he heard the teardrops hit the plants. Shaking, he closes the door to his private quarters, indicating to anyone who visits the medbay that he is busy. He stares at the branches one last time before turning away, shifting his focus back to the blue crystal. He still remembers when he first met her. She came from a different walk of life than he did. She was an artist and an amazing performer with a boisterous stage persona that masked her true personality. Someone who never experienced the horrors that dragons like him faced on the battlefield. She may have travelled all over Sornieth for her art and performances, yet she still had a place to call home. She had friends and a large support system. Nevelmaul never had those luxuries. Not since he was chosen to become a healer. His career meant he never was able to stay in one place for too long. While friendships were not outright forbidden, they were looked down upon as they could distract from the job. Because of this, Nevelmaul never felt like he fit in. No matter where he went he felt out of place. He valued his job and loved healing others, but sometimes he wished he could take that leap. Be able to have a home and friends. Maybe even a partner. But his walk of life meant that those desires would be very hard to achieve. Or so he thought. He first met Desdemona when he was sent to help out at a small encampment near the Tangled Woods. Desdemona and her fellow performers were putting on a small show for the dragons to take their minds off their injuries. Nevelmaul made eye contact with her and she winked at him, proceeding to be extra flashy in her part of the performance. After the performance, the vibrant Veilspun came bounding up to him, grinning wildly. Nevelmaul knew at that point he was screwed.

"So, did you like our performance?"

Nevelmaul saw the mischievous glance in her eyes and it dawned on him that she was flirting with him. Even if it was a part of her stage persona, Nevelmaul didn't know how to respond. His face heated up, and she took note of it, her smile turning into a wild grin.

"Glad to know you liked it! If you want maybe you can watch our future performances."

She hands Nevelmaul a rolled up scroll that is labelled "Future Performances". Before Nevelmaul can protest, Desdemona has bounded away to talk to her fellow performers. Nevelmaul never thought that he would see her again after he finished up healing the injured dragons at the encampment. However, a small part of him hoped he could see the spunky Veilspun again. Cursing himself for giving into these thoughts, he opened up the scroll and glanced over the dates and locations for the upcoming performances. He tried to hide the smile on his face when he realised that several of the dates happened to be near where he would be working on those days. Maybe he could let himself have something to look forward to besides his job.

A few weeks had passed, and Nevelmaul had gone to see more of Desdemona's performances. When she spotted him in the crowd, her eyes lit up. After the performances, she had gone up to Nevelmaul and started to talk to him. Eventually, she introduced him to her friends who all wondered how she had managed to befriend a healer such as himself. Nevelmaul tried to not be bothered by their shock, as he himself felt the same way at times. In between performances, Desdemona would often track down Nevelmaul and spend many late nights with him, listening to him talk about his healing duties and what his passions were. He shared his love of crystals and plants and how they could be used for healing.

---

Nevelmaul tends to neglect his future sight abilities. Most of the time, he was so engrossed in his career that he never took the time to practice these abilities, or even use them at all. But sometimes, the abilities manifested themselves in a vision at inopportune times. While he was looking over the scroll Desdemona had given him, he accidently activated his powers, taking a glimpse into the future fated for his beloved friend. It was a future any dragon would dream of. A life that Nevelmaul didn't realise was even a possibility. It brought Nevelmaul some comfort to know that the fates appeared to be on Desdemona's side. As long as she didn't stray from the future he foresaw, she would be guaranteed to be safe. He couldn't risk losing his friend.

---

Nevelmaul was out gathering materials after a particularly long night where he had learned about Desdemona's past and what inspired her to become an artist. He thought about the way the moonlight reflected off of her scales, and how her eyes sparkled like the crystals he loved so much whenever she spoke of her passion for art. The way she would intently listen as he talked about his own life and what he loved. He tried desperately to shake off these thoughts. Was this what it felt like to fall in love? He pushed those thoughts out of his head. He couldn't be falling in love with his friend. Even if she flirted with him a lot, she always said it was practice for her stage persona, especially since she was not normally into the idea of flirting. He may have said some flirty things back to her but he thought it was all in good fun. A way to give her ideas and help her practice her lines. A way to bond with her by mimicking her mannerisms. He couldn't let himself give into these thoughts. Even if she felt the same way about him, it would be selfish of him to allow himself to fall in love with her. If he gave up his life as a healer, many would die without his help. There was also the risk of him disappearing one day like many healers often do. He couldn't break her heart like that. But he also feared that she would ask to travel with him, leaving behind her friends and all that she knew. Not only would her friends be shattered at her leaving them, her fans would also be sad knowing she would never perform again. He didn't want that for her. "She deserves better than that kind of life. Deserves better than me." Nevelmaul's internal monologue is cut short when feels a sharp pain in his hand, coming to the realisation that he had broken the stone that he was holding. Grumbling about now having to clean up his new wound and having lost precious materials, he carefully disinfects and wraps up his hand the best he can, tossing the broken stone aside. He knew it would be tough, but he had to break off the friendship before either him or Desdemona got hurt.

---

Nevelmaul knew he had to tell her soon. Before it was too late. He knew that she was going to be performing nearby, so he decided he would tell her after the performance. If he told her before she might mess up her performance, and he didn't want that for her. Soon enough, it was time for the performance. Nevelmaul settled into his usual spot in the crowd, surrounded by the bustling crowd. The performance went on as usual, with Desdemona giving him her usual smile and wink when she spotted him. Nevelmaul realised his luck was running out when the performance had an encore and ended much later than usual. After the crowd had dispersed, Desdemona flew up to Nevelmaul, eyes sparkling and her long mane slightly disheveled after an especially long performance.

"Desdemona. I have to tell you something important. Can we go somewhere more private?"

Desdemona gave Nevelmaul a quizzical look and opened her mouth as if to make a snarky remark but stopped when she saw how serious Nevelmaul looked. They flew to a more isolated location, far removed from where any lingering attendees may be lurking.

"Nevelmaul what's wrong? I almost never see you looking this serious unless its related to your job or your visions."

Nevelmaul froze, starting to regret what he had been planning on telling her. But when he tried to speak, he was shocked to find that he couldn't bring himself to reject her companionship. To push her away and never see her or her friends again.

"I have to tell you something. I am afraid. Afraid of feeling certain things. Afraid of being selfish. I allowed myself to get close to you, knowing that what we have, whatever it is between us, could be gone in an instant. There is always the risk that one day I will have to leave. I will disappear and you will never see me again. We will both be heartbroken, and I will once again be alone. But I have this selfish desire. I want to stay with you, for you to stay with me. But I can't let these selfish desires win. I can't leave this life behind, as many will die without my help. Yet I don't know if I want you to come with me. You have a whole life ahead of you. You have your band, your friends, your performances, your fans. You have such a brilliant, shining future ahead of you. I can't ask you to leave that all behind. Especially not to be with me. The life you are destined for is not a life I could provide to you. I don't want to strip your future away from you. You deserve so much better than me."

Desdemona went silent. This was the most silent Nevelmaul had ever seen her. He was about to turn to leave when she grabbed his arm.

"What if I want you to be selfish?"

"What?"

"If being selfish means I can stay with you; become closer to you, then I want you to be selfish. Its a noble cause to be thinking of everyone but yourself in this situation, but you have to realise that maybe you deserve to be loved as well."

Nevelmaul was shaking, his frills laying flat against his head as tears started forming in his eyes.

"There's hundreds of other dragons who are head over heels in love with you. Dragons who could give you the life you are fated to have. A much more meaningful life than what I can provide you with."

Desdemona looked at Nevelmaul for a few seconds, looking at him with slight concern in her eyes.

"But what if you are the one I want Nevelmaul? Even if those other dragons are 'head over heels in love with me'" Desdemona says the last part mockingly, her face temporarily distorting to one of disgust. "They don't know me like you do. They'll never care about anything but my appearance and who I am on stage. They don't know what I'm like behind closed doors, what I'm like as an individual. But you do. You have shown time and time again in the short period of time that we've known each other that you care about me. You see me for more than just my stage persona. So please. Show me what being selfish is like."

Nevelmaul moved his body closer to Desdemona's, gingerly curling into her side and wrapping one of his wings around her, almost as if he is afraid of hurting her.

"Is this ok? Is this, whatever we are, whatever we will become, really what you want?" I don't know how long this can last. I don't want this to end in heartbreak."

Desdemona shifts her body slightly, moving her head to nuzzle Nevelmaul.

"Yes. How many times do I have to say that I want to be with you; that I love you? We can worry about the future when we get there. For now let's focus on the present. You are worthy of being loved."

Nevelmaul lifted his head up, moving to reciprocate the sign of affection Desdemona was showing him.

" 'Sides. I think I like it when you are 'selfish'."

Desdemona flashed her signature wild grin and Nevelmaul snorted, trying to hold back laughter.

---

Nevelmaul should've known better. Good things never last. Not for him at least. He was trying to track down Desdemona at the request of her friends. They had a performance that night and she was nowhere to be found. Nevelmaul agreed to try and find her, especially since if she was injured he would be her best shot at survival. He spent hours searching, trying to figure out where she could have gone. Nevelmaul was close to giving up. He had searched all of Sornieth and hadn't found her. He decided to check one final location: the encampment where they had initially met. In his desperation to find her, Nevelmaul tore the encampment up, trying to find any sign of the one he loved. He then noticed two small flowering branches resting in the fire pit. He felt a pit drop in his stomach when he realised that the embers were still warm. Choking back sobs, Nevelmaul furiously started digging through the hot cinders, burning his hands in the process. All that he could find that was left of Desdemona were her horns. Those beautiful, flowering horns. Nevelmaul gently picked up the horns and wrapped them up with cloth that he usually used to dress wounds. When Nevelmaul eventually found his way back to Desdemona's friends, they saw his bloodshot eyes and gave him knowing looks. They let him process his grief, his loud sobs echoing throughout the forest.

---

Nevelmaul wasn't the same after the loss of Desdemona. He started to isolate himself more. He closed himself off from others and put up a facade of being a gruff and hotheaded healer. Dragons had learned to not cross him or ask about his past. Those who tried to befriend him often gave up when he refused to reciprocate their warm feelings. "Its all to protect myself and others. This is what happens when I am selfish. Never again."

Eventually, Nevelmaul was hired as a healer for a clan nestled deep in Starwood Strand. Isolated from the rest of Sornieth. Perfect for him. He established a medbay in the lair, and attached his private quarters to it. His private quarters were filled with crystals and plants, things that he loved. Things he shared with Desdemona. Many of the crystals and plants he had in his quarters were given to him by Desdemona throughout the time that they knew each other. The crystal that he had been turning over in his hands had been given to him soon after his confession. When he asked her asked about it, all he was told was "For when we can't see each other and you miss me!". Whenever the grief got to be too much and whenever he started to miss her again, he would hold the crystal and take in all the colours. Whether he liked it or not the memories of her would come flooding back in.

"Gods I'm a mess." Nevelmaul muttered dryly as he once again set the crystal down. Sometimes he did feel guilty for continuing to push everyone away, but even if he did finally have a place to call home, he still had to deal with healing duties. There was always the risk that those he got close with would go missing. Just like Desdemona. He never found out what happened to her, but he had his suspicions. He knew that had he not gone into hiding and decided to become the resident healer for a clan, that he most likely would have been next. He knew Desdemona mentioned some fans of hers went too far with their love of her. Borderline obsessive as she called them. If one of these fans found out about their relationship, they might have targeted both her and possibly even him out of unfounded jealousy. In a twisted way, he was glad that whoever did that to her left behind her horns. Even though she may be gone, her plant-like horns continued to live on without her. Nevelmaul never took himself to be the sentimental type, but having Desdemona's horns with him almost made him feel like she never left.

Nevelmaul took a few more seconds to compose himself before leaving his private quarters. He couldn't neglect his healing duties for too long. Not when his clanmates seem to have a habit for getting injured in increasingly appalling ways.