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B I O G R A P H Y
I remembered the cold of stone and the suffocation of the sea. This was my childhood. I know not what it means but I remember well that the water is not your friend. The water is a terrifying expanse waiting to swallow us all whole, to steal our breath away forever.
"Who is this?" A voice broke through the cold. A shivering coatl, scarcely a hatchling, raised her weary head towards it. "My what a small thing, so far away from home are you. Let's get you warmed up, shall we?"
She felt herself being lifted by whatever the voice belonged to, carried somewhere she couldn't guess. She was only dimly aware of the journey, passing in and out of consciousness. She couldn't remember how she got here, couldn't remember why she was so cold and wet. Part of her recognized that she should be quite terrified indeed but something about this, something about the stranger, kept her calm. She wasn't sure when she passed into unconsciousness for the final time but when she came to she was warm and relatively dry and most certainly not in the frigid weather outside any longer.
"Are we awake now?" That same voice from earlier. The young coatl turned her attention to it, blinking and taking in the room around her as well as the figure.
The room was small. There were two doors, one that seemed to lead outside and another that lead further into whatever building they were in--though if it was a building or not the young coatl couldn't tell. Indeed, many parts looked like a building but there were large rocks sticking through some places that suggested this might be a cave instead. All about the area were various papers and trinkets, gears and feathers and all manner of things that the hatchling couldn't quite understand. The owner of the voice,her savior, sat to the side of the room. She was a tundra, dark in color with brilliant splashes of gold and red mixed in. Her mane was like fire and the hatchling was immediately fascinated with her appearance. It took her a bit to realize that her savior was addressing her again.
"Celaena, what were you doing out on your own like that? You gave me such a fright seeing you lying out there all by yourself. No matter, you're home now and that's the important thing."
Celaena? She supposed that could be her name, though she couldn't quite remember. She, did, however, definitely know this wasn't home. She opened her mouth to ask what was going on when the Tundra spoke again.
"Don't worry, Celaena. Mommy is here now." She moved over to the young Coatl, cover her with a wing as she settled down next to here, "I won't lose you again."
Though she was comforting and so intensely warm, something in the young Coatl was sending warning signals throughout her body. She tensed, heart beating rapidly. When nothing came of it slowly, minute by minute, she let herself relax. If the Tundra hadn't hurt her yet she likely wouldn't. Finally she relaxed enough to once again drift into sleep.
She had been working for the witch, living in her little cabin, for many moons. She couldn't remember anything of before, and this fact often bothered her. There were many nights where she would lie awake, staring into the shadows that felt so familiar and yet so foreign, and wondered if perhaps she had a family who was looking for her. Would they have given up by now? She was so old. Had her real mother forgotten her face?
It was these questions she didn't want to dwell on--not for long. Still, they crept their way into her mind over and over again. Finally, one day, she couldn't stand it anymore and confronted the witch, whom she now knew as 'Cicatriz,' about her troubled thoughts.
"Ma'am?" The Coatl poked her head into the main room, "Are you busy?" The words were tentative. It didn't take much, lately, to send the Tundra into a frenzy.
"Yes, young one, but I have attention to spare. What is it?" She didn't bother turning around. Slowly Celaena made her way to Cicatriz's side.
"I was wondering if you could tell me anything about my home?"
"This is your home." The words were curt, icy even. Celaena flinched.
"I mean--"
"This is your home." Cicatriz repeated through gritted teeth.
"Right but--"
"Celaena," she began quietly before quickly losing her temper and raising in volume, "This is your home, you have never had any other home nor will you now I do not recommend asking me again!"
She shrank back a bit and swallowed hard, "Y-yes ma'am." She let her pounding heart still before loosing a sigh, "Cicatriz?"
"What?" The word sharp, like a dagger.
"I want to be like you."
The Tundra paused for a moment in her work and looked at Celaena, "What now?"
"I want to be like you. Gifted, like you."
A gross mockery of a smile grew on Cicatriz's face, "Why, Celaena, I believe that could be easily arranged."
The Coatl responded apprehensively, "It could?"
"Why yes!" She gestured to her table, "I have all the things right here. I'll just need one small price from you."
Celaena perked up despite her better judgement. After all, despite her violent outbursts occasionally, Cicatriz had been nothing but good to her. "Of course! What is it?"
"A scale." She extended a paw to her, "Just one."
The Coatl frowned for a moment. Plucking out a scale would hurt, but there were a few loose ones on her flank. Without giving herself a chance to think on it she obliged, wincing as she did. She set the beautiful brown scale on Cicatriz's waiting paw.
"Perfect." The witch grinned, setting it on the table, "Now run along, Celaena. I have much work to do."
The Coatl nodded and hurried into the back room again before she could possibly incur Cicatriz’s disdain again.
I still wish I hadn’t. Maybe then I would have known what I know now: The water comes for us all. It takes us away in the night and drowns us
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____In the weeks following her exchange, Celaena didn’t note any changes. Life was as usual. When she could she would help Cicatriz around the cabin. When Cicatriz was in one of her moods Celaena would avoid her as best as was possible. She told herself this was not Cicatriz’s fault, that somewhere in Cicatriz there was merely something that was off-kelter and all Celaena had to do was wait it out and soon Cicatriz would be back to her true self. [/i]
She was the sea, waters as dark as the night. She swept me away and drowned me.
One day, Cicatriz was out of the cabin. The adventurous Coatl took this as an opportunity to peer about the cabin, really familiarize herself with more than the two rooms. A door she hadn’t noticed when she first came to the cabin, just across from the one that led outside, had always piqued her interest. Cicatriz had seemed to usher her away from it and kept conversations away from it, sometimes being outright hostile in her responses whenever Celaena questioned her about its contents. Now was, in her mind, a perfect time to sate her curiosity.
She glanced both ways even though she knew the cabin was completely empty before slowly making her way to the door. With each step her heart pounded louder and louder in her ear canals, breath coming in short breaths. She wasn’t sure why she was so scared, nothing evil had happened to her in the house and yet something in her screamed at her to turn, to run, telling her that she was better off not knowing.
She nudged it open.
I nudged it open.
Inside were shelves lining each wall, necklaces lying on the slightly warped wood. All seemed empty save for one at the very back of the room. An odd light emanated from it and something in her felt drawn towards it, a tug at her chest. She took slow steps towards it.
I moved toward the necklace.
All at once something hit her. Celaena gasped sharply, crumpling to the ground as wave after wave of pain slammed its way through her veins. She convulsed. Someone in the room was screaming. Was she screaming? Was Cicatriz home? Was the necklace screaming? Could it scream? The noise was so foreign, a high pitched keel of something dying. It was then that she saw things.
I saw things.
Images swirled in her mind.
Terrible images.
She saw a dark cave, a whirlpool. She felt the stone beneath her feet. She felt the tide pull her in, throwing her this way and that in its fury.
I can still feel it. I can still see them.
She could feel the water in her throat, in her lungs. She desperately gasped for breath. That screaming was still there, who was screaming?
Why won’t they stop?
She gagged, convulsed, retched. Water spilled to the floor but the floor remained dry. The water was blood. The water was silver. The water was gone.
What have I done?
She breathed in ragged breaths that rattled in her chest, desperate for release from whatever this new torture was. Cicatriz. Where was Cicatriz?
Cicatriz.
At once her name brought forth a new slew of images, images with more clarity, more meaning. She saw herself leaving into the back room. She saw her scale glittering on Cicatriz’s work table, saw the Tundra turn to it with that smile. She took it. Something inside Celaena shattered.
What did I do to you, Cicatriz?
Cicatriz set the scale in her paws, covering it and holding it to her chest. She whispered something arcane, something the Coatl could not understand. ‘Upit dpia od zomr.’ The words chilled her as she felt them take hold deep in her bones, deeper than her bones. They reached for her soul.
I trusted you, Cicatriz.
The screaming stopped. The convulsions died down. With absence came clarity. Celaena opened her eyes, blinking rapidly against the blinding light of the room. Behind her a door opened. Her heart stuttered and she nearly willed it stop beating. She was caught. No, she had already been caught. Now she was discovered.
You took me in, Cicatriz.
”You.”
“Cicatriz, I--” No, no lies. No excuses. “What did you do to me?”
“You are not my daughter.” She spat. “You are not my brood, not my hatchling. You are nothing to me.”
That answered nothing. Celaena shakily stood, her limbs so, so weak, “What did you do to me, Cicatriz?”
“You wanted power.” Poison honey dripped from the witch’s words, “I gave you power for a small price. Do you not want it? Do you return my gift you ungrateful worm?”
I was nothing but a pawn to you.
”What did you do to me?” Celaena snapped.
The Tundra’s brow darkened as she advanced on the much smaller Coatl, “You want to know who you are? Where you came from? Now you know. You can access it if you’re smart enough, skilled enough, but you’re not. You never will be. You are beneath me, a maggot to a crow.”
“But why?”
A grin cracked her face, “Because I can.” She lunged. Celaena cried out, dodging clumsily to the side and slamming against the door frame. She took off as fast as she could. Cicatriz turned, eyes blazing with such fury Celaena had never known. “You cannot escape me, you pitiful wretch. I own you.”
You drowned my soul.
Celaena didn’t pause to think. She bolted for the door, slamming into it with her clumsy momentum. She scrambled, opening it and slamming it closed with as much force as she could manage before turning, slipping, falling to the ground. Behind her she heard the Tundra thundering to the door. She threw herself to her feet again and tore out towards the treeline, praying to whatever gods had forgotten her that she would make it in time.
She heard the door slam open.
I heard the door slam open.
She turned to face Cicatriz one last time.
I turned to face Cicatriz one last time.
Her face was a twist of fury and insanity.
I can’t forget the look in her eyes.
”I own you, you miserable wretch. Your soul is mine. Your power is mine.”
She knew not of what power Cicatriz spoke but she believed her. Somewhere in her she knew the witch had no reason to lie anymore.
I can’t forget her.
Celaena forced her limbs to work, to move. She turned and fled into the trees. Behind her, Cicatriz screamed--the last words she’d ever hear from the witch in the woods.
“I will find you. I will hunt you down, and I will tear you asunder.”
I can’t stop running.
She will find me if I stop running.
This home cannot hide me.
She will find me.
I can’t stop running.
I can’t stop running.
I cant stop running.
Help me.
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____ It t was then, in the middle of those woods that she feared so much, that Celaena found her salvation. She had spent awhile in a clan just outside of the witch’s domain. In fact, it turned out, the witch had belonged to the clan but had forsaken them in some way long ago. According to another witch, Yona, Cicatriz was firmly locked in her cave but still the threat echoed in Celaena’s brain.
I will find you. I will hunt you down, and I will tear you asunder.
She wasn’t so sure this witch could contain her, no matter how powerful she may think herself to be. They were an amicable clan, if a bit hard around the edges. Though anyone was kind compared to what she’d just experienced. Part of her felt guilty. Perhaps she’d been unfair to Cicatriz. Perhaps she hadn’t been a proper daughter.
You are not my daughter. You are not my brood, not my hatchling. You are nothing to me.
The words had stung. Cicatriz had done something unspeakable to her, and yet still she felt a debt to the Tundra. She had taken care of her for all that time, after all. Perhaps this was just another of her bad days and tomorrow she’d be wondering where her precious daughter had gone.
No. She couldn’t go back. She was to be stronger than that.
It took much of that strength to get her moving when she finally left the clan. It was made a bit easier with her escort, a pair by the names of Mazus and Aelynthi. They were so devoted to each other that something in her chest stirred each time she looked to them. She wouldn’t exactly call it jealousy, but she certainly wished for a bond such as theirs. With kind words they watched her disappear into the forest, her looking back to them every few feet until she could no longer see them.
It was lonely without the Nocturne and Imperial at her side. Too quiet. Far too quiet. She tried her best to keep her mind occupied with thoughts of pleasantry--the smell of the woods, the way the glowshrooms gave off just the right amount of light for it to be pleasant. All at once the smell of the dirt beneath her feet awakened something in her and she nearly collapsed, stumbling and managing to sit, gasping for air. It was the same feeling as she’d had in that room in Cicatriz’s cabin. She was having a vision again.
In it she was looking through much younger eyes. She didn’t know how she knew but she did. These were her eyes she looked out through. In front of her were cracks and crags in a huge rock face. Something in her heart told her this was home. Two dragons hovered just out of sight, watching her clamber clumsily across the stones. Her parents. They must be her parents. Their eyes were not brown, that much she could tell. A brilliant blue and deep red gazed at her, admiring her. She loved them. With a swell of sadness she loved them. Her throat constricted and she could swear she felt tears spilling down her face.
“Be careful, little one.” The voice was deep, rich. Her father. She looked like her father. She didn’t know how she knew this but she did. She looked just like her father.
“She’s going to be quite the adventurer, hm?” A softer voice. Her mother. The voice reminded her of the wind in the leaves, a promise of journeys to come and whispered secrets in the night. She loved it, held to it like a life raft. She hadn’t even remembered her mother’s voice all these years. It was so lovely. How could she have forgotten it?
“Aye. She’s destined for great things, I believe.”
The vision faded and she found herself on the Tangled Wood’s floor, still silently weeping. Her family. She had a family and they loved her and she loved them. She loved them so dearly. She missed them with a raw intensity. What would they think of her now? Were they looking for her?
“Are you alright there?”
A voice broke through her thoughts and she snapped her head to face it, eyes wide. She was terrified of who it may belong to, but merely found another Coatl staring down at her. He was beautiful. Intricacies of brown and gold danced across his body. His rich brown eyes, Earth eyes, shone even in the ever present darkness of the Tangled Wood. He was more than beautiful, actually. She tried to hide the stirring of butterflies in her voice.
“I’m sorry?”
“Are you alright? I was moving through and you just...you looked like you were hurt.”
She swallowed and offered a small smile, “I’m fine, thank you.” It was a lie, of course. But she couldn’t help it. She didn’t need a stranger knowing of her gift. She knew the danger behind kind masks.
“Are you sure?” He plunked down next to her.
“I am.”
“What’s your name?” He asked suddenly, looking her over for some sign of injury.
“I--Celaena. My name is...Celaena.” The word was foreign on her tongue. No, that wasn’t her name, but she had no other she could offer to this kind soul.
Soul.
Could he tell she was missing that vital part of herself? She could certainly feel it, eating away at whatever Cicatriz had left of her. It was a terrifying prospect that she didn’t wish to entertain.
“Well, Celaena, my name is Aio.” He smiled and somehow she knew it was sincere. “Tell me, what happened? And don’t go telling me it’s nothing, I know better than that. I’ve been around other dragons long enough to know a troubled soul when I see one.”
There was that word again, that key ingredient. She tried not to let her shudder be as obvious as it begged to be. “Why should I trust you?” The words were colder than she meant them to be. His mouth formed a tight line for a moment before he replied.
“You’re right, you don’t really even know me, do you? I’m sorry, I’m just...Jumping the gun a bit, yeah? Let’s start small then. How’d you get your name?”
Celaena swallowed hard. “It was given to me.”
“By your parents, yes, everyone has a similar story but how did they get it?”
She sighed. “I don’t know my parents.” She didn’t mean to admit it, it just spilled out. Aio gave her a very sad look.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Did they...not name you?” He ventured carefully.
“No.”
“Did you name yourself?”
“No.” She chewed her bottom lip, contemplating going further. “How much time do you have?”
“For a pretty girl? All the time in the world.” He winked.
She felt herself flush and she cleared her throat. “Well…” And then everything came out, her whole story to this stranger she still didn’t know if she could trust. He waited patiently, listening attentively to everything as she spilled every detail, every fear, every secret. When she finished her voice was raw and her scales damp from crying on and off.
He was silent for a bit. “So this witch, she named you?”
A nod.
“That won’t do then.” He stood, shaking his head, “I won’t call you that. We’ll give you a new name, yeah?”
She felt her heart skip a beat. A new name? Could she learn to answer to a new name? “I can...try, but I don’t know what I’d like to be called.”
He hummed to himself before grinning, “You don’t have to take it, but I think I’ve got it.”
“Yes?”
“Zurie.”
Zurie. The name sounded sweet, soft. “I love it.”
He chuckled, “I’m glad. I think it fits you well.”
“How so?”
He winked, taking a few steps and looking back in an offer to follow, “It means lovely."
She flushed several shades of pink.
And she followed.
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