born in a lab, Itward was designed to be the last ditch effort to save Yum Those Are Some Good Grapes That Im Drinking - a poorly performing grape soda brand. he was supposed to be the face of a huge advertising campaign all over the world........................... but something went wrong

as part of his debriefing on the sole purpose of life, the CEO of YTASGGTID held a secret one-on-one meeting with itward. he was supposed to appear on a tv show and talk about YTASGGTID in front of a live studio audience. This, they hoped, would bring the publicity and attention needed to save their struggling brand.

standing in the wings of the tv studio, itward was shaking. there were only moments left before he was to appear. his whole life had, quite literally, been leading up to this moment. He heard his name called, and bounded on to his stage.

the performance was perfect - he delivered all his lines, hit all of his marks and remembered all of his choreography. he couldn't believe it - everything was going great.

to his suprise however, the presenter of the TV show brought out a can of Yum Those Are Some Good Grapes That Im Drinking - itward wasnt prepared for this. this wasnt part of the plan.

the host urged him to drink it - to enjoy the frosty grapey taste from organically ethically sourced grape farms, cooled to the perfect temperature for optimal enjoyment. Itward cracked open the can and raised it to his lips. tentatively, he took a sip.

it was bad and itward spat it out he got fired.
what a horrible useless little man.