Rosoidela's dragon Ammitai

Personal Style

Apparel

Skin

Scene

Physical Attributes

Battle Stats

Measurements

Length

6.54 m

Wingspan

4.37 m

Weight

540.36 kg

Genetics

White
Iridescent

Pink
Seraph

Maroon
Basic

Hatchday

Jan 25, 2014
(10 years)

Breed

Adult
Pearlcatcher

Eye Type

Shadow
Common

Level 25 Pearlcatcher

Max Level

STR

AGI

DEF

QCK

INT

VIT

MND

Lineage

Parents

Offspring

Biography

A M M I T A I
T h e • T r a p p e d

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She hated feeling this way. She hated how her heart beat quicker, her breath caught in her throat, her mind turned itself round and round into knots at just the simple thought of going out.

Normal people didn’t have this problem. Normal people wouldn’t think twice about going out.

But no matter how many times she told herself that she was fine, that everything was okay, that she was normal like everyone else, and no, no her mind wasn’t crazy— she wasn’t crazy—she was fine, smiling and laughing and carefree just like everyone else even though her thoughts kept going and going and she couldn’t get out.

She liked to pretend. Kid herself into expecting the impossible. “Why yes,” she would tell herself as she stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her outfit for the twentieth time and trying on a smile that was too tight and too fake, “I am a well-adjusted individual, perfectly capable of performing normal, everyday tasks.”

… Except she wasn’t. Except she hadn’t left her lair in a month. Except the thought of everyone out there, watching, staring, judging, sent her pulse racing, her throat closing, darkness looming in, and why, why why couldn’t she just be okay?

Normal people wouldn’t spend hours upon hours in front of a mirror trying to get their appearance perfect, only to chicken out at the last second and decide, ‘Maybe… maybe I’ll try again tomorrow.’ Normal people didn’t keep pushing back appointments and dates, cancelling at the last moment because the thought sent a wave of panic and fear and oh god oh god she couldn’t breathe she couldn’t breathe she was going to die.

(“Stop being irrational,” she told herself, even as her hands shook and she curled back on her bed, curtains closed and trying her best to ignore the world moving on without her. “You’re not going to die. Nothing bad is going to happen.” But then why couldn’t she breathe? Why did her pulse have to keep tapping out this rickety rhythm counting down the seconds until something unspeakable would happen? Why did her body have to do this to her?)

“You just have a mild case of anxiety,” her friend said the one time she’d brought it up, one of the few times she’d felt good and well and—dare she say it— normal. “You’ll be fine.”

Except this didn’t feel mild. This didn’t like she’d be fine. This felt like her mind was tearing her apart, throwing scenario after scenario in her face and feeling as if bullets were ripping through her chest. This felt like she was going to crack and shatter and never come back together.

“You can get through this,” she murmured, burying herself under the covers, pressing her hands over her ears as if that’d stop her mind from trying to rip her heart out of her chest. “You’ve got through this before. You’ll get through it now.”

In the throes of its tightening grip, lungs gasping for breath and vision blurry, before felt like it would never appear again. “Tomorrow will be better,” she gasped out. Tomorrow she’d do everything she’d planned to do today. Tomorrow maybe, finally, she’d get help.

Somewhere outside, dragons bustled about, going through their day to day business without a care in the world. Somewhere, out there, there was a world she wanted to be part of. Just… just not today.

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S t a t u s
Level 25

F r i e n d
Z a z

L o r e
January 23, 2020

P e r s o n a l i t y
Ammitai is actually quite a sweet dragon. She's a sensitive, gentle soul, but she has the unfortunate issue of anxiety. Agoraphobia, add in some social anxiety, some generalized anxiety disorder, a bit of panic disorder, and you have a mess. This honestly negatively affects her health outcome and her life. It's at the point where she really really really should get some help, but she's also too scared to get help. It's pretty much just a cycle of her getting trapped in her thoughts and unable to get out, and she knows this isn't normal whatsoever, and she should get help, but the thought of getting help drives her further into her thoughts. It's pretty much a self-fulfilling prophecy, and she's just really helpless.

What's sad is that she has likes and dislikes, but they're often buried beneath all her issues. She's unwilling to show herself to anyone (And even Zaz, her closest friend) doesn't know everything about her), and she keeps her preferences close to her heart 'cause she fears rejection. This would be pretty pathetic if it weren't just so completely sad. It'd be akin to blaming a new puppy for not knowing that those shoes weren't chew toys.

She has good days and bad days like everyone else, and on good days she can balance her life with a semblance of normalcy. As in she finally mails that letter she'd been hanging onto for months, or she finally calls up her friend and asks how she is. For all that mental health disorders rule her life, it doesn't define her. It just means she has to work a bit harder to achieve things she wants to, and it just means that sometimes she can't get the energy to get up in the morning.

She likes flowers and sweet things and pretty things. If things were different, she might've been a gardener, or maybe a caregiver, or even a musician. She likes the thought of being able to make a difference in a hatchling's life, to raise and grow something herself, to create something all on her own. She'll never do it though, 'cause fear holds her back. If she does dabble in gardening or composing music, she hides the evidence before anyone can find it.

Ammitai is just sad. I think of her almost like a princess locked away in a tower. Lonely, sad, and filled with lost potential. Maybe someone'll come along and open up that locked door. Maybe she'll die alone having never met her Prince Charming. Maybe just maybe something good will happen to her.

H i s t o r y
How she came to this clan was mostly by luck. Or rather, less like luck and more like she was living in her lair all nice and cozy, and this clan expanded. And lo and behold, now she's here, in the middle of this hustle and bustle (and not all that safe clan).

M i s c e l l a n e o u s

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Click or tap a food type to individually feed this dragon only. The other dragons in your lair will not have their energy replenished.

Exalting Ammitai to the service of the Shadowbinder will remove them from your lair forever. They will leave behind a small sum of riches that they have accumulated. This action is irreversible.

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