Creative Corner

Hello! Welcome to Kaleran's Lore Time where I realized that having a read-only thread ruined any opportunity to get some sweet sweet validation and feedback! So someone on Wind's discord recommended an ooc feedback thread and here it is!! I love feedback. I love suggestions. I love concrit. I, unfortunately, don't tend to write on a schedule and I have a tendency to surround myself in WIPs. I write when I'm inspired, mostly, and where better to get inspiration than the wonderful community of Flight Rising! So if you want to see more of my dragon writing, please feel free to look through my lair (most of them have some kind of bio) and post a comment! Here's the read-only thread: [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2751651][LORE] Sanctuary of the Tempest Rhapsody[/url] [emoji=tundra love size=1]

[quote]"I'm leaving tomorrow." Yvina turns to look at him, startled. She has grown used to his presence, their midnight chats under the stars. What will she do when she's not constantly looking for his green pelt in the crowds or in the air? Her life before Divinium stumbled onto the Cloudsong seems lackluster and wanting, like he filled a place she didn't know she was missing. Will he be alright all on his own? Exposed to all sorts of danger, without any means to protect himse-- Oh. She's found her Charge. She didn't even know she was Searching.[/quote] [center]ARHHGHGHHGHGFFHGHHG [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/67/5a/17/675a17380b336f96befcb7ea09d9390c.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]"Did the Windsinger send you?" he asks, for what else could their meeting be if not organized by a higher power? Yvina pulls her head back in a sudden motion. "What?"[/quote] [center]hehe [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/63/1f/dd/631fdd066708cb85ba3dccd5796f3f01.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]"You don't even know what I'm going to ask!" she growls. "How can you even say that?" He blinks at her once. Twice. "Can you not smell it?" he asks. "Smell what?" Oh. She isn't a tundra, so of course she wouldn't know. "I love you," he says simply.[/quote] [center]SCREECH - the softness !! the tenderness! !! [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/74/9d/3b/749d3ba68d61b73659ee6cb04370dba1.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]The needle slips from his grasp and jabs him in the soft skin between his fingers. "Ow! Now look what you've made me do?" "Oh, whatever," Jax says callously. She pauses. "It's nothing lethal, is it?" "Not to dragons, it's not," Potsol says, attempting to disinfect himself. Blood wells up on the white skin between his scales and he scowls at it. "Well. It might be."[/quote] [center]oh hells [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/42/15/0e/42150e3576c43c30a64eac4505a5d019.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]He races out again, examining the closest dragon he can find. It's Sunspot, a peach-colored coatl who runs the general store. She's dead. Black scales jut out from between her feathers in unnatural ways. When Potsol opens her mouth, even her tongue is covered in scales. "No," Potsol whispers. "No, I decreased the severity! It shouldn't-- It's not supposed to do this!"[/quote] [center]mfw when Potsol finds his family: [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6c/a6/09/6ca60954e5c8d5a8a959a9fbf4ff20fd.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]"Help the others," Helios asks him. "I'm... This will kill me, won't it." Potsol has to swallow the guilt in his throat before he can speak. "You will fly with the eleven, Helios."[/quote] [center]no............ not Helios.... everyone....................... [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/de/5a/44/de5a44101ead85ec5f170c9ecdcc31cd.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]"What in the Plaguebringer's name happened here?" she demands the moment she lands. She's holding a basket, one that can only be Jax's mother's best apple pie. Potsol wants to cry. She knows it’s his favorite.[/quote] [center]NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8a/25/e4/8a25e4df2aec6ea3075be2e580a20b8e.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]"I hope you got the data you wanted," she sneers. "And to think I thought you were my friend. You will never fly with the eleven, Potsol." She flies off without another word, leaving the basket behind. It smells like home.[/quote] [center]i dont got no more tears for this bruh [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/21/6e/46/216e46e1eb3c233e0adcc9afbec04d40.jpg[/img] JAX COME BACK [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8a/bc/69/8abc699a17717f8cfec3da623b788f21.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]Potsol raises his wings, but pauses. He takes one last look at his home, the streets full of graves rather than life. This is where he was born, where he was raised, and he destroyed it. A sob rises in his throat and he chokes it down painfully. When he can no longer stand to look, he flaps his wings and flies away.[/quote] [center]Potsol... I feel so bad for him! What an incredible story. Well, maybe the next one will give me the same serotonin high as Divinium and Yvina's story! mfw I read Ora's story: [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/79/dc/f3/79dcf3caf557bb9c4f0554328a2cfd5e.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]They sit here now in the sand, rusted over the decades. [/quote] [center]decades....? [img]https://media.tenor.com/7T8KR7p69x8AAAAM/oh-no-clueless.gif[/img][/center] [quote]Ora surveys his work. It isn't perfect, but it will hold. He steps back, admiring the new shingles he installed on the roof of the communal house at the base of the lighthouse. Even as it's only occupant, he still goes through each room and keeps things dusted and tidy. Cracks in the stone walls are patched with cement made with sea water, shingles made from harvested nearby trees, and the entire structure is whitewashed each year on the first day of summer. It's his home. It's his clan. He's their protector. It's nice to see things looking almost normal, like Barr will come flying out with his claws covered in paint with paintbrushes behind his ears. Like Larce will come around the side of the house with a new weapon to try, Like Shara will be just inside cooking for everyone with a song on her lips, Like Palis could just be around the corner working in the garden. He almost comes to expect it, but all he hears is the wind in his ears and the crash of the waves.[/quote] [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2c/09/04/2c0904cfea1ac0ea2b24ed7c8231663e.jpg[/img] [quote][i]Sorrow-pain-grief-remembrance[/i] Remembrance? What has the Lamp need to remember? He looks closer. [i]Sorry-fault-mine-sorry[/i] Ora tilts his head, tracing the line with a claw tip. Perhaps this is the creator of the Lamp's feelings. [i]Wind-brother-Water-sister-Ice-sister-fallen-sorry[/i] Ora squints against the Lamp's light, trying to see if he read that correctly. Wind, water, and ice dragons made up Ozicron. Did this creator... know them before they died? Call them brother and sister? Death-sorry-remembrance-sorrow-pain-protect Ora turns away, something uncomfortable stirring in his stomach. He doesn't look closely at the Lamp after that.[/quote] [center]sus lamp [img]https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c8/91/41/c89141249ec76948bc5691aacae2c3c6.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]He fights Ozicron. He fights Ozicron. He fights Ozicron.[/quote] [quote]He invents a new game for himself during a snowstorm using a few gold coins from the clan's coffers and a handful of Larce's spare beads. He thinks his clan would like to play it with him when they return.[/quote] [center] [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/cc/b1/2f/ccb12ff67f161974fc3a1662fa94e9e8.jpg[/img][/center] [quote]Someone had used it recently. Ora abandons his hunt to instead seek out the owner of the sickle. He scouts the ground for broken twigs and footprints, finding a trail and following it until the pull of the Lamp forces him to stop at the edge of the territory. He visits that spot many times in the coming weeks, but he sees no one. No dragon, no beastclan. No one to help him fight Ozicron. He melts down the sickle and makes another sword.[/quote] [center]WAAHHHHHHH...! he gave up!! waaaaaaaahhh[/center] [quote]Ora makes to speak his name but finds he can't. He coughs and tries to remember the last time he spoke out loud. He can't remember. Years and years ago. "Ora," he says eventually. His voice is hoarse. "My- my name is Ora."[/quote] [center]Love the realism where of course he lost his voice![/center] [quote]"So?" Orion says, turning back to Ora. "Can we meet your clan?" His clan. [s]Shara, impaled on the beach by a Frigid Bolt. Litik, Drowned. Larce, ripped apart by three sets of fangs. Barr, thrown by a Disorient, skull cracked on the rocks. Jin, mauled by monstrous claws.[/s] Palis, gone, never to be seen again. "Ora? Your clan?"[/quote] [center]hngrhf! why did u write this! /pos [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/d1/94/33/d19433361bd178bf6f4d5651e1bcb63c.jpg[/img] To close, [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/12/d1/7c/12d17c6677650d00bdd8a7dbb7426e47.jpg[/img] What incredible writing! I anxiously await another tale from your clan! Your writing simply transports me away to another place, like when I was engrossed in my fantasy books as a child. It was an absolute treat to reread a bit and also read the newer stories you wrote since I last checked in :) ... I haven't gotten to your Gaoler one yet though. Will come back for that...[/center]

@SuzyChi

Aaaaaa thanks so much!!!! Perfect feedback 100/10
:3

Valvadon’s oneshot has a hopeful ending!!!!!! Also it’s Really Gay but Val is an Idiot and doesn’t realize he’s gay as hell Ehehehe… the next one that’s even close to being complete is Astoria and Polemos’s one-shots. Polemos’s is actually done but it’s very much a Part One of how they ended up alone (well, aside from each other) and Astoria’s Part Two is how they get adopted by Orion and Valvadon. I just. :clenches fist: need to figure out how to write Telemor, Orion’s other crewmate. Since he shows up in Astoria’s story. Every time I try he ends up being uhhh flippant and not very nice. I know he’s not necessarily a nice guy, but I do want him to have at least some kind of redeeming factor lmao.