“Do you have any idea what it’s like? Do any of you have
any clue what this feels like!?”
Flail was yelling.
He wasn’t sure why he was yelling.
Maybe the drinks were finally getting to him. Maybe this whole night was getting to be too much.
The rest of his squadron was staring at him.
A few had piteous looks in their eyes. Most just looked at him like he was crazy.
Maybe he was crazy.
He was asking them a question he already knew the answer to.
Of course nobody knew what he felt like.
He was a mistake, an anomaly, a flaw in their perfect little program.
He knew he didn’t feel like he should. Think like he should.
He was too soft for this.
He knew that.
And so did they.
Flail’s squadron hadn’t said anything, still staring at him. Faces that looked just like his staring at him.
He felt his cheeks go hot.
What was he doing? He was already the laughingstock of the entire unit. Now he was just making a fool of himself.
Correction. An even bigger fool of himself.
“I’m…I’ll just…I’m gonna go back to the bunker.”
“You do that.” Said one of the scouts, raising an eyeridge at him with an amused smirk.
Flail ducked his head and stumbled away from the table, his spiked tail bumping loudly against the empty stools on either side of him.
Great. Now everyone who wasn’t already staring was looking at him too.
He turned away, and made to leave when a voice stopped him.
“Hey Flail!”
He turned his head back.
“Don’t forget this, flower boy!”
A small daisy-pattern umbrella that had been sitting in one of the drinks was suddenly flicked his way, bouncing off his snout dangerously close to his eye.
The table roared with laughter.
Flail wanted to cry.
But he couldn’t. If he did, he’d never be able to come back from this.
Do you even want to come back from this?
The traitorous voice in his head always said things like that.
Do you want to do this again tomorrow? Do you even like this? Do you even want to be here?
He didn’t.
But this is what he was supposed to do, what he was supposed to be.
He turned away from the cackling table and walked towards the door.
Everyone was too busy laughing to see him pick up the umbrella as he walked by.
…
He had been sitting here for hours.
The squadron still wasn’t back yet. He was alone. He sat in his bunk, staring at his face in the mirror.
He didn’t look any different from anyone else. His horns were just as sharp, his scales just as polished. His fangs long and shining.
Put him in a row with ten others and you wouldn’t be able to pick him out.
He looked into his eyes. He could see it.
He, and everyone else.
He was too soft for this life.
He was weak.
He would never be able to fight like the others because he and everyone else could see from one look in his eyes that he didn’t have it in him.
And no matter how hard he trained, he never would.
So leave
The voice in his head said that a lot.
He looked down at the daisy patten drink umbrella in his claws. The fact that he knew at a glance that they were Daisies was the problem.
Why shouldn’t he leave?
A sense of duty. To serve his purpose. To put up with the teasing and bullying every day. To fight for a worthy cause. To know with his whole soul that he didn’t belong here. To do what’s right despite it all?
No one would miss you
As that last thought crossed his mind, he finally let the tears fall, just for a minute.
He knew that it was true.
No one would miss him. At all.
They would probably be glad he was gone, if they even noticed his absence.
A big part of him knew he should stay. It was what he was supposed to do.
But for the first time in his life, the part of him that wanted to get out of here was stronger, and louder, than any reservations he might have had.
He got up, wiped his tears away, and quickly packed his bag with everything he owned. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t take long.
His whole life packed into one small bag.
He took one last look in the mirror.
He was doing this.
The last thing he grabbed was the little umbrella. He thought about leaving it here, but he knew it would just get destroyed.
The fact that he cared about what happened to an umbrella only solidified his feelings. No one else cared like Flail did.
Maybe someone out there did.
He stepped out of the bunker into the yard.
It was pouring rain.
Flail took a deep breath, steadying his resolve before taking off into the storm.
He didn’t know where he was going.
He only knew that he wasn’t coming back.
………
Pathogen was staring at the edge of his garden, peeking his head out of the window of his cave. The silver dragon was back, looking at his flowers again.
He had arrived in the clan a few days ago, exhausted from what appeared to be a very long flight.
No one knew where he came from, and he didn’t exactly seem keen on telling anyone.
Not that it really mattered. This clan was for everyone, especially those who felt that they didn’t belong anywhere else. Pathogen knew that better than anyone.
“What are you looking at dear?”
Probiotic called from across the cave. She was tidying up his leftover arts and crafts supplies.
“That sharp, silver looking dragon is back again.”
“Are you going to go talk to him?”
“I probably should.”
“Well, be careful darling, stranger danger and all that.”
Pathogen smiled. He loved that his wife was so protect of him.
“I will be dear, but I don’t think I need to worry.” He look out at the dragon again.
“He looks kind.”
With that, Pathogen stepped away from the window and walked out of his cave into the sunshine. What a lovely day.
He walked up the path towards the silver dragon. The silver dragon didn’t seem to have noticed him yet, watching a bee bounce from flower to flower. Pathogen sat down beside him.
“I love flowers.”
The silver dragon jumped, his head whipping towards Pathogen in alarm.
“Oh, I’m sorry! Are these yours? I didn’t mean to intrude! I’m…I’ll just get out of your way!” He began scrambling back, trying to put as much distance as he could between them.
“Woah woah! No need for that!” Pathogen put up his claws to show he meant no harm. “I’m glad someone else appreciates these flowers as much as I do.”
The silver dragon stopped trying to back away. He still looked wary though.
“I-I know what it looks like, but I promise, I wasn’t going to destroy them! I think they’re lovely!”
“I didn’t think you were going to destroy them. Why would I assume that?”
The silver dragon looked down, trying to make himself as small as possible. His extra spikes glinted in the sunlight.
“Look at me. I don’t exactly seem like the gentle type.”
He was very large, and very sharp. But his eyes betrayed his kindness. Pathogen knew the feeling.
“Look at you? Look at me! Do I look like the kind of dragon who would own a flower garden?”
The silver dragon looked up at him, his brow furrowing as he took in Pathogens rotted-looking form.
“…I suppose not.”
“Exactly. But I do. Because despite what I look like, I love things that grow. I love my flowers. And I won’t let anyone tell me I shouldn’t.”
The silver dragon tilted his head. He seemed to be thinking quite hard.
“Whats your name?” He asked at last.
“Pathogen. One of many Pathogens. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve met someone who looks like me before. Plaguebringer sent us throughout all of Sornieth.”
“Plaguebringer? But you don’t…you don’t seem…”
“Like I want to destroy everything I touch? I know. I suppose I’m a bit of a flaw in his program, but I’m happy.”
The silver dragon’s eyes widened at that.
“I know what I was intended for,” Pathogen continued, “but this is what I want to do. This is who I am. I chose to follow my own path, and look at me now! I have a wife, three beautiful children (
1,
2,
3) , and a home in a clan with other dragons who feel the same as me. Who understand that it’s not what you look like, or where you come from that defines you. It’s who you choose to be.”
Pathogen realized he’d been rambling a bit, and looked over sheepishly to apologize, but saw that the silver dragon was enraptured. A tear was falling down one cheek.
Pathogen decided not to mention it.
“Are…are the dragons here really as accepting as you say? They don’t care who you were?”
“No, they don’t.” Pathogen said with smile. “If they did, they’d have to look elsewhere for literally every single bouquet this clan has ever used!” He laughed at his own joke.
The silver dragon laughed too.
“Whats your name?”
“Flail.”
“Well, Flail, “ Pathogen picked a small daisy from the patch in front of him, holding it out for Flail to take, “would you like to come inside? I can make us some tea, and we can talk about our favorite flowers?”
Flail took the Daisy, looking at it like something had changed. Maybe something had.
“I’d love to.”