(I'm sorry I had to do the whole thing it's just so good)
Another night deprived of slumber
Hours passing without number
My eyes trace round the room, I lay
Dripping sweat and now quite certain
That tonight, the final curtain
Drops upon my short life's precious play.
From the darkness, by the closet
Comes a noise much like a faucet
Makes a maddening drip drip dripping sound.
It seems some ill-proportioned beast,
Anticipating me deseaced,
Is drooling poison puddles on the ground.
A can of Mace, a forty five
Is all I'd need to stay alive
But no weapon lies within my sight
Oh my gosh! A shadow's creeping
Ominous and black, it's seeping
Slowly 'cross a moonlit square of light!
Suddenly a floorboard creak
Announces the bloodsucking freak
Is here to steal my future years away
A sulfurous smell now fills the room
Heralding my imminent doom
A fang gleams in the dark and murky gray
Oh, blood red eyes and tentacles
Throbbing, pulsing ventricles
Mucus-oozing pores and frightful claws
Worse, in terms of outright scariness
Are the suckers multifarious
That grab and force you in its mighty jaws
This disgusting aberration
Of nature needs no motivation
To devour helpless children in their beds
Relishing despairing moans
It chews kids up and sucks their bones
And dissolves inside its mouth their little heads!
I know this cuz I read it not
Two hours ago, and then I got
The heebie-jeebies and these awful shakes
My parents swore upon their honor
That I'd be safe, and not a goner
I guess tomorrow they'll see their sad mistakes
In the morning they'll come in
And say, "What was that awful din
We heard last night? You kept us both from sleep!"
Only then will they surmise
The gruesomeness of my demise
And see that my remains lay in a heap.
Dad will look at Mom and say
"Too bad he had to go that way,"
And Mom will look at Dad, and nod assent.
Mom will add, "Still, it's fitting
That as he was this world quitting
He should leave another message before he went."
They may not mind at first, I know
They will miss me later, though
And perhaps admit that they were wrong.
As memories of me grow dim,
They'll say, "We were too strict with him.
We should have listened to him all along."
As speedily my end approaches
I bid a final "buenas noches"
To my best friend here in all the world
Gently snoring, whiskers seeming
To sniff at smells (he must be dreaming)
He lies snuggled in the blankets, curled.
"HEY! WAKE UP, YOU STUPID CRETIN!
YOU GONNA SLEEP WHILE I GET EATEN?!"
Suddenly the monster knows I'm not alone!
There's an animal in bed with me
An awful beast he did not see
The monster never would've come if he had known!
The monster, in his consternation
Demonstrates defenstration
And runs and runs and runs and runs away
Rid of the pest,
I now can rest
Thanks to my best friend, who saved the day.
Nauseous Nocturne - Bill Watterson
Another night deprived of slumber
Hours passing without number
My eyes trace round the room, I lay
Dripping sweat and now quite certain
That tonight, the final curtain
Drops upon my short life's precious play.
From the darkness, by the closet
Comes a noise much like a faucet
Makes a maddening drip drip dripping sound.
It seems some ill-proportioned beast,
Anticipating me deseaced,
Is drooling poison puddles on the ground.
A can of Mace, a forty five
Is all I'd need to stay alive
But no weapon lies within my sight
Oh my gosh! A shadow's creeping
Ominous and black, it's seeping
Slowly 'cross a moonlit square of light!
Suddenly a floorboard creak
Announces the bloodsucking freak
Is here to steal my future years away
A sulfurous smell now fills the room
Heralding my imminent doom
A fang gleams in the dark and murky gray
Oh, blood red eyes and tentacles
Throbbing, pulsing ventricles
Mucus-oozing pores and frightful claws
Worse, in terms of outright scariness
Are the suckers multifarious
That grab and force you in its mighty jaws
This disgusting aberration
Of nature needs no motivation
To devour helpless children in their beds
Relishing despairing moans
It chews kids up and sucks their bones
And dissolves inside its mouth their little heads!
I know this cuz I read it not
Two hours ago, and then I got
The heebie-jeebies and these awful shakes
My parents swore upon their honor
That I'd be safe, and not a goner
I guess tomorrow they'll see their sad mistakes
In the morning they'll come in
And say, "What was that awful din
We heard last night? You kept us both from sleep!"
Only then will they surmise
The gruesomeness of my demise
And see that my remains lay in a heap.
Dad will look at Mom and say
"Too bad he had to go that way,"
And Mom will look at Dad, and nod assent.
Mom will add, "Still, it's fitting
That as he was this world quitting
He should leave another message before he went."
They may not mind at first, I know
They will miss me later, though
And perhaps admit that they were wrong.
As memories of me grow dim,
They'll say, "We were too strict with him.
We should have listened to him all along."
As speedily my end approaches
I bid a final "buenas noches"
To my best friend here in all the world
Gently snoring, whiskers seeming
To sniff at smells (he must be dreaming)
He lies snuggled in the blankets, curled.
"HEY! WAKE UP, YOU STUPID CRETIN!
YOU GONNA SLEEP WHILE I GET EATEN?!"
Suddenly the monster knows I'm not alone!
There's an animal in bed with me
An awful beast he did not see
The monster never would've come if he had known!
The monster, in his consternation
Demonstrates defenstration
And runs and runs and runs and runs away
Rid of the pest,
I now can rest
Thanks to my best friend, who saved the day.
Nauseous Nocturne - Bill Watterson
|
~call me Amethyst! ~she/her ~straight ~Fr+3 |
~check out this super cool hatchery! ~and this other cool subspecies! ~Idk ~Every day I play a game online where you dress up overgrown lizards. |
| elune adore
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