General Discussion

i don't know if this is just me, but whenever my friends have an issue, they come to me. It makes sense because we're friends and thats what I'm for but its always me. Why me? I enjoy helping others be happy but its puts so much pressure to be there whenever I can, and sometimes I can't be there. All of their problems are like on my shoulders at this point.

is this anyone else??

edit: i am not alone woah :)

Yeah, I have this one friend who only rants about her issues (and or sends me random pics of her with new clothes she bought) and either lectures me after cords and/or gets miffed when you try talking about something else, so yeah.

Usually I have no problem with listening but if they go into stuff I'm obviously less educated on than they are or just rant every. single. time. they actually talk to you.. i'm just really tempted to tell them eff off tbh...

Sometimes, friends sort of... Feel out the person who is empathetic, and willing to listen. They're not sure if they can be that open with anyone else, so they keep returning to you.

At any time, you can say, "I'm sorry, stop right there. This is too much for me right now. Can you talk to another friend/family member/counselor about this?"

If it's serious (eg self-harm, depression, abusive situations) you may have to break confidence to tell someone who CAN help this person. It will suck. They will be very mad at you. But they need that. Trust me. If any person at any time had done this for me, I wouldn't have PTSD.

If it's gossipy, that's easier. You can say, "I'm just not interested, sorry." (I'm Canadian, we apologise a lot ;P)

If it's somewhere in between, like homework trouble or general boy problems or whatever, that'll be easier to deal with once they're not overloading you with little OR enormous things.

It's probably not what you want to hear, but for your own health, sometimes involving other people or shutting down the conversation is what's best.

@Madrugada
if you feel like the friendship is more negative than positive its probably best to cut them out? I've been there, its really draining.

@PeachandPye
Its mostly more serious issues which is probably whats got me trying so hard to make them happy. I think its just kind of difficult because I don't think therapy/ a counselor is really available to them? I get the angry part, I've been the angry person that was told about. I have that constant need to be there and help them when they're sad. I just still wanna be their friend because we are good friends and its not toxic or anything, just heavy topics. My boyfriend was surprised by how much people drop on me, and it finally had me realizing that this wasn't normal?

@PandaDork

yeah, she usually don't do it often but when she does it's like... restrain yourself and don't write something bad now.. but yeah i see what you mean there, those people are really toxic :v

and yeah lately it's been more negative cause of that so yeah i will def think that over now.. c: thanks!

@PandaDork
This is me too. Especially romantic relationship problems? But I've never had a relationship?

I never mind, though, my singular goal is pretty much to make people happy.

Hi, yes, I'm here,

Strangely enough, my friends often come to me with romance problems, even though I'm the one who has the least experience. They also vent and rant to me, and I give them tips.

@ImpossibleJedi4 @Lavendetta
Hm, same actually! I mean I have expirience but it really do like making people happy even if it drains me, its strange.

its so nice to know I'm not alone in this thanks guys :)

ohhhhhhhh, you're def not alone...
I love being there for people and trying to make them feel better! I'm lucky tho because my friends all realize I'm much more than the therapist friend. so we def have normal conversations. but there's 2 friends in particular who are down a lot.
I used to get stressed or upset because there's not much I can do. and since they're online friends, it's not like I can go to someone and be like "yo, my friend's depressed and dysphoric" or whatever. no one I know is going to help because they're not able to.
for me, it took me realizing that I really cannot stop all destructive thoughts my friends have. I just can't. I'm unable. I care very much, but I can't do a whole lot since I'm far away and changing people's minds isn't as easy as snapping your fingers. I try hard to make people happy but I have limits and sometimes just gotta step back and let people be. it sucks, but sometimes there's nothing else you can do. and you still need to take care of yourself! it's not gonna be worth it to exhaust yourself for others.

Been there, done that.

Just watch yourself that it doesn't start negatively affecting you.