General Discussion
Discuss your favorites: TV shows, music, games and hobbies.
TOPIC | adhd..? anyone? xD
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
@Hypercoaster I honestly love that you have an outlet like that, and find it super neat that everything kind of just disappears for you when you're up there. & I love that your username is something so meaningful to you, honestly! Plus it's just a cool username xD
Mine was literally just two things I thought were cool (I do really like Titanium as an element, honestly) and slapped together xD
@Hypercoaster I honestly love that you have an outlet like that, and find it super neat that everything kind of just disappears for you when you're up there. & I love that your username is something so meaningful to you, honestly! Plus it's just a cool username xD
Mine was literally just two things I thought were cool (I do really like Titanium as an element, honestly) and slapped together xD
She/Her | Artwork

LEpJMnn.png rolz5s9.png
BT1N47G.pngLRdLP2V.pngmlHpBMC.png

OpalTitanium
@fakeviolin I'm terrified to go to college (upcoming semester is my first) as well, and I'm incredibly sorry about the financial situation. I absolutely hate that there are genuine solutions for people out there and they just c a n t because of stupid money.
:(
I really hope everything will work its way out for the better

(((side note I adore the dragon in your pfp)))

I'm scared of college because well
1) im not independent but thats kinda just a me problem XD
2) i start off relatively okay and then by the end of each semester (experience from hs) I just.... stop having any motivation
3) starting things?
4) i have too many interests and i have no idea what the crud im doing

ALSO if you're interested, I made an ND FR discord server :) It's at a really comfortable number of people right now (I'm kinda trying to keep it that way xD) and has a ton of channels and none of us are idiots :)))
Anyway feel free to join!
Link: https://discord.gg/NEA5Az

(this link will expire after 1 day)
@fakeviolin I'm terrified to go to college (upcoming semester is my first) as well, and I'm incredibly sorry about the financial situation. I absolutely hate that there are genuine solutions for people out there and they just c a n t because of stupid money.
:(
I really hope everything will work its way out for the better

(((side note I adore the dragon in your pfp)))

I'm scared of college because well
1) im not independent but thats kinda just a me problem XD
2) i start off relatively okay and then by the end of each semester (experience from hs) I just.... stop having any motivation
3) starting things?
4) i have too many interests and i have no idea what the crud im doing

ALSO if you're interested, I made an ND FR discord server :) It's at a really comfortable number of people right now (I'm kinda trying to keep it that way xD) and has a ton of channels and none of us are idiots :)))
Anyway feel free to join!
Link: https://discord.gg/NEA5Az

(this link will expire after 1 day)
She/Her | Artwork

LEpJMnn.png rolz5s9.png
BT1N47G.pngLRdLP2V.pngmlHpBMC.png

OpalTitanium
* raises hand * ADHD here. Was diagnosed in 2nd grade because I was constantly daydreaming and sitting staring at a wall while everyone else was working. I've been told it's relatively mild, but boy oh boy does it affect a lot of things. I have a horrendous sense of the passage of time (even more now because of quarantine), rock in my seat a lot (not to mention i don't ever sit in chairs normally lol)/stim with things around me, and either have 0 ability to focus on something or hyperfocus so hard for 5-6 hours straight that I don't even register that I haven't eaten in that whole time frame. Remembering to eat in particular is... harder than I think.

I'd love to join the discord server too :D I had just been wondering about this sort of thing recently!
* raises hand * ADHD here. Was diagnosed in 2nd grade because I was constantly daydreaming and sitting staring at a wall while everyone else was working. I've been told it's relatively mild, but boy oh boy does it affect a lot of things. I have a horrendous sense of the passage of time (even more now because of quarantine), rock in my seat a lot (not to mention i don't ever sit in chairs normally lol)/stim with things around me, and either have 0 ability to focus on something or hyperfocus so hard for 5-6 hours straight that I don't even register that I haven't eaten in that whole time frame. Remembering to eat in particular is... harder than I think.

I'd love to join the discord server too :D I had just been wondering about this sort of thing recently!
latest?cb=20140703135024.png
⊗ Max
⊗ 22
⊗they/xe/he
⊗ fr +2

sNd5wqe.png hphjQR4.png
89NiKF4.png COSMOSIS_tiny_sepia_logo.png EDjLhcC.png egg_fire_bouncy_by_dogi_crimson-dabjwuf.gifuD7taRL.png
LRdLP2V.pngfkWjutW.png
am also adhd. diagnosed sometime during kindergarten i think and started taking medication in year 7.
mostly inattentive rather than hyperactive, issues with auditory processing.
my brain mostly exists in a state of Everything at Once, Nothing, or One Singular Thing that is Being Hyperfocused On
it's a blessing and a curse, for me. I can work for hours on end on something i'm interested in but it takes so long to accomplish anything else because i can't stay focused on a task i can't hyperfocus on
am also adhd. diagnosed sometime during kindergarten i think and started taking medication in year 7.
mostly inattentive rather than hyperactive, issues with auditory processing.
my brain mostly exists in a state of Everything at Once, Nothing, or One Singular Thing that is Being Hyperfocused On
it's a blessing and a curse, for me. I can work for hours on end on something i'm interested in but it takes so long to accomplish anything else because i can't stay focused on a task i can't hyperfocus on
♦ THE CHROMASLICK PUS DYNASTY ♦
div2.png


♦ Tofu
♦ He/Him
♦ FR +16
ADHD+Depression here. On medication but also not able to remember to take most of the time. Got diagnosed last year/year before. Honestly my memory is terrible.
ADHD+Depression here. On medication but also not able to remember to take most of the time. Got diagnosed last year/year before. Honestly my memory is terrible.
W2fTsCC.pngYOU THOUGHT IT WAS A SIGNATURE, BUT IT WAS I, DIO!3hF8p5D.png
@Grox that's literally how and when I got diagnosed as well! XD
I just *wasnt doing anything* and dazed off completely (as if that ever went away xD)

And YES my sense of time is absolutely horrendous. I wish time wasn't so significant ahhhh xD I suck at determining how long stuff will take, how long I will choose to do something, and of course STARTING and STOPPING anything is just a joke oops
Oh yeah you mentioned quarantine? Got a C in my spanish course solely cuz of that xD (well and i kinda just hated it a bit, too much "record yourself talking" for my personal preference xD~ and i just honestly cant do things i dont want to x. x)

Yeah I personally would never call any degree of any ND mild but hey xD, cuz I know people have much more than adhd itself but, still just with the one thing my life can be crap sometimes haha (like im ok tho xD)

*five years later* ANYWAYS the discord server changed to an ND server instead of solely adhd because so many people had adhd in combination with other things, and adhd felt too discriminatory. However, almost everyone in it has adhd anyways since they came from this thread XD (and im mostly only using this thread to invite because we don't want a mass overflow of people in the server cuz we dont want it to be one of those servers, and right now its quite comfortable :)
ANYWAYYSSS here's the link x. x my god lol

~this link expires in 6 hours~
@Grox that's literally how and when I got diagnosed as well! XD
I just *wasnt doing anything* and dazed off completely (as if that ever went away xD)

And YES my sense of time is absolutely horrendous. I wish time wasn't so significant ahhhh xD I suck at determining how long stuff will take, how long I will choose to do something, and of course STARTING and STOPPING anything is just a joke oops
Oh yeah you mentioned quarantine? Got a C in my spanish course solely cuz of that xD (well and i kinda just hated it a bit, too much "record yourself talking" for my personal preference xD~ and i just honestly cant do things i dont want to x. x)

Yeah I personally would never call any degree of any ND mild but hey xD, cuz I know people have much more than adhd itself but, still just with the one thing my life can be crap sometimes haha (like im ok tho xD)

*five years later* ANYWAYS the discord server changed to an ND server instead of solely adhd because so many people had adhd in combination with other things, and adhd felt too discriminatory. However, almost everyone in it has adhd anyways since they came from this thread XD (and im mostly only using this thread to invite because we don't want a mass overflow of people in the server cuz we dont want it to be one of those servers, and right now its quite comfortable :)
ANYWAYYSSS here's the link x. x my god lol

~this link expires in 6 hours~
She/Her | Artwork

LEpJMnn.png rolz5s9.png
BT1N47G.pngLRdLP2V.pngmlHpBMC.png

OpalTitanium
@WormOnAString45 poop i just saw that you wanted to be pinged, idk how i only just now saw but hey XD, the link is in the post above! (you can PM me if you get to it after expiration. As I said in the thing we're sorrrrt of trying to keep it confined to a small amount of people xD)
@WormOnAString45 poop i just saw that you wanted to be pinged, idk how i only just now saw but hey XD, the link is in the post above! (you can PM me if you get to it after expiration. As I said in the thing we're sorrrrt of trying to keep it confined to a small amount of people xD)
She/Her | Artwork

LEpJMnn.png rolz5s9.png
BT1N47G.pngLRdLP2V.pngmlHpBMC.png

OpalTitanium
@OpalTitanium

A little tip for driving from me - someone who's been driving for years now. The first few months are understandable scary, but eventually it turns into muscle memory / automatic mode. for adhd that means spacing out, so my best advice if/when you get to that point in driving is to always have your favorite music playing! It keeps me stimulated enough to stay concentrated on my surroundings and where I'm going, I honestly don't know where I'd be without my trusty ipod!

Also... if you can spare the cash, get a driving instructor! Having one helped me loads when it came to my anxiety when i was first starting out! :D
@OpalTitanium

A little tip for driving from me - someone who's been driving for years now. The first few months are understandable scary, but eventually it turns into muscle memory / automatic mode. for adhd that means spacing out, so my best advice if/when you get to that point in driving is to always have your favorite music playing! It keeps me stimulated enough to stay concentrated on my surroundings and where I'm going, I honestly don't know where I'd be without my trusty ipod!

Also... if you can spare the cash, get a driving instructor! Having one helped me loads when it came to my anxiety when i was first starting out! :D
ywCJX34.png
Um, hi. I'm pretty new to this whole thing and really unsure about whether I should actually post here cause this is kinda making me really anxious, but I'm curious about the community and how (other?) neurodiverse people live. I like to learn and understand things, and I also think understanding and empathy are the only path towards progress.

Now, I want to stress this a lot before I say anything else: I have not been diagnosed or even examined by a therapist or mental health professional in any way, ever. In fact, the closest I've really ever gotten to talking to a mental health professional is like this 5 minute period of time I had to talk to my (normal) doctor, who was definitely not prepared, about feeling bad (and that was like... a year and a half ago) and this one 18 minute conversation I had with someone from a local covid mental health hotline about, ironically, whether I should see a therapist. Therefore, I am very tentative about claiming anything about being mentally ill or neurodiverse (or... ? I don't know what word I'm trying to use, I just really don't want people to be offended).

That being said, I think I may be. Specifically, I think I may have depression and social anxiety, and I've been considering that I might have adhd. And yes, I do actually try to read things from reliable sources such as NIMH and Mayo Clinic because, by gosh, my English teachers taught not to use Wikipedia (even tho I really love reading Wikipedia for non-medical things ;w;). I do have to admit, despite fearing what it means, that I might have depression and social anxiety at least. I think I've been depressed since 6th grade, when I was about 11-12. I moved from a Montessori school to public school that year, and on top of he stress of moving schools and changing friends, I had a terrible teacher who yelled at everyone. I used to cry a lot back then, and I had a lot of terrible thoughts about doing bad things to myself that I won't talk about here. I think it got better at some point, but I've had what might be episodes of it in years since. One of these "episodes" caused me to fail an extracurricular genetics class I took before highschool, and another caused me to fail a grading period of my WHAP class my freshman year of highscool with a 48 because I literally just gave up. And now I think I'm having another one of these, what with the Rona and quarantine and the stress of being stuck with my parents all of the time.

As for the possible social anxiety, I tend to be really scared of people judging me, so much that it makes me paranoid that people around me are watching me and what I'm looking at/doing. In some of my classes, we have rows of computers, like a computer lab, and everyone sits next to someone else unless they managed to get the one corner spot remaining. While I do like that I have friends to talk to because of this, it can make me really anxious. Especially in classes like my animation class, where we're supposed to do things with creativity, I find this particularly challenging. I have this big story in my head that I've been working on for two years, and I love it dearly. I like to use characters from this story in creative projects because I already have this connection with the story and it also kills two birds with one stone and makes me feel like I'm making progress on the story. Unfortunately, as much as I love it, I'm scared that other people will think it's weird and I get embarrassed, making it harder for me to actually work on the projects and just effing draw the characters because I'm so paralyzed by what my "cool friends" or my religious teacher will think. My other friend who has a lot of OCs and makes art like me has no problem sharing her stuff with our teacher, but I can't bring myself to do the same. I also worry so much about peoples' perceptions of me, so much that I low-key had a mental breakdown at one of my friends' birthday parties because we we're reading zodiac stuff on pinterest. All the stuff for my sign is always either the most bada$$, or the worst, it seems. Basically, I got scared that everyone was going to think I was gross and inappropriate and a pervert because of my zodiac sign (it also doesn't help that I'm a lesbian, and it was an all girls party haha. Although there was only one straight girl out of us four). I spent like the entire night freaking out and trying not to cry and I somehow managed to keep it under wraps because nobody noticed. Ironically, I don't even believe in zodiacs, cause they're all so vague and I can relate to literally any of them, given the right reading or whatever. Wow that was really long winded haha oh my god I'm so sorry about freaking wall of a paragraph

Um, I'm not real sure on the possible adhd. I read the list of symptoms you have to have, and that there have to be like 5-6 depending on how old you are, and I'm not sure whether I actually qualify. Recently, I've been having a lot of issues focusing on the books my dad's been having me read over the summer. Also, I've thought back a bit, and I realized sometimes I have this difficulty in school too. It's like, I understand how to do the thing, but actually putting it into practice... sometimes I just stare at my paper trying to think. I've also noticed that my mind tends to wander during this time, and I get distracted thinking about that shiny gen1 I saw on the AH yesterday, or about this character So-and-so who accidentally got stuck on a chandelier half-drunk, or about how I'll be this famous comic artist someday... and then ruin it all and fail miserably. Sometimes I get distracted thinking about how I haven't talked to my friends in ages and I probably won't, or about how no one is ever going to want to read my sh*tty story, or about how I'm probably a terrible person. Sometimes I even get distracted thinking about whether I'm "actually" mentally ill or whatnot, or whether I am, in fact, faking it for attention/so I can feel special. Which is... kind of ironic and sad. I also get kind of philosophical sometimes. jesus christ how do I write so much?!?! I also really hate doing homework or anything that requires mental effort unless I chose to do the thing. It takes me hours to complete homework assignments that shouldn't take near as long, and that's just on things I'm more comfortable with, like math and science. If I have a big english assignment, it's pretty much a given that it'll take at least an entire night. Also I seem to daydream a lot, which is something I had forgotten about until I read through this thread. I mean, I guess it's daydreaming. I sometimes just think of these ideas that are oh so great, and it's like I've got this little video playing in my mind of this idea. It can be helpful for creativity, but it's literally not helpful in any other way. I do notice as well that sometimes I move a lot or I have like a lot of energy haha. I seem to have issues starting and doing things too, like some people said earlier in the thread, but I don't know if for me that's add/adhd, or because I just get anxious and procrastinate so I don't have to deal with it.

I'm sorry, I feel like some of the last part of this makes less sense than the first part. There was like a 2 hour long period that I stopped writing this because my dad started talking, and the last half-ish of the last paragraph was written after wards. It's also almost 3:30 am here, and that's probably contributing too.

Also, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to maybe join your discord server, please. I seem to have a hard time making friends online, especially on FR. I think it's probably because the main way of socializing is the forums, and coincidentally meeting people a few times doesn't build much of a friendship, at least for me. I could also just be bad at making friends. I realize though if you're uncomfortable letting someone who's undiagnosed or whatever on a server for neurodiverse ppl. I suppose, if nothing else, I could be kind of like an... ally? Like how there are straight allies for the LGBT+ community? I do want to understand what life is like for other people, so I can better my understand and myself as a person, and hopefully help to end stigmas and sh*t like that. I totally understand though if you'd rather not, I'll totally respect that if that's your choice.

Have a nice day! Also, again, I am sorry about the freaking book I just wrote. And the fact that this is like half rant, too. Honestly, I want to delete this so much.

@OpalTitanium not sure if you wanted to be pinged or not, sorry if not.

posting this is high-key really stressing me out haha
Um, hi. I'm pretty new to this whole thing and really unsure about whether I should actually post here cause this is kinda making me really anxious, but I'm curious about the community and how (other?) neurodiverse people live. I like to learn and understand things, and I also think understanding and empathy are the only path towards progress.

Now, I want to stress this a lot before I say anything else: I have not been diagnosed or even examined by a therapist or mental health professional in any way, ever. In fact, the closest I've really ever gotten to talking to a mental health professional is like this 5 minute period of time I had to talk to my (normal) doctor, who was definitely not prepared, about feeling bad (and that was like... a year and a half ago) and this one 18 minute conversation I had with someone from a local covid mental health hotline about, ironically, whether I should see a therapist. Therefore, I am very tentative about claiming anything about being mentally ill or neurodiverse (or... ? I don't know what word I'm trying to use, I just really don't want people to be offended).

That being said, I think I may be. Specifically, I think I may have depression and social anxiety, and I've been considering that I might have adhd. And yes, I do actually try to read things from reliable sources such as NIMH and Mayo Clinic because, by gosh, my English teachers taught not to use Wikipedia (even tho I really love reading Wikipedia for non-medical things ;w;). I do have to admit, despite fearing what it means, that I might have depression and social anxiety at least. I think I've been depressed since 6th grade, when I was about 11-12. I moved from a Montessori school to public school that year, and on top of he stress of moving schools and changing friends, I had a terrible teacher who yelled at everyone. I used to cry a lot back then, and I had a lot of terrible thoughts about doing bad things to myself that I won't talk about here. I think it got better at some point, but I've had what might be episodes of it in years since. One of these "episodes" caused me to fail an extracurricular genetics class I took before highschool, and another caused me to fail a grading period of my WHAP class my freshman year of highscool with a 48 because I literally just gave up. And now I think I'm having another one of these, what with the Rona and quarantine and the stress of being stuck with my parents all of the time.

As for the possible social anxiety, I tend to be really scared of people judging me, so much that it makes me paranoid that people around me are watching me and what I'm looking at/doing. In some of my classes, we have rows of computers, like a computer lab, and everyone sits next to someone else unless they managed to get the one corner spot remaining. While I do like that I have friends to talk to because of this, it can make me really anxious. Especially in classes like my animation class, where we're supposed to do things with creativity, I find this particularly challenging. I have this big story in my head that I've been working on for two years, and I love it dearly. I like to use characters from this story in creative projects because I already have this connection with the story and it also kills two birds with one stone and makes me feel like I'm making progress on the story. Unfortunately, as much as I love it, I'm scared that other people will think it's weird and I get embarrassed, making it harder for me to actually work on the projects and just effing draw the characters because I'm so paralyzed by what my "cool friends" or my religious teacher will think. My other friend who has a lot of OCs and makes art like me has no problem sharing her stuff with our teacher, but I can't bring myself to do the same. I also worry so much about peoples' perceptions of me, so much that I low-key had a mental breakdown at one of my friends' birthday parties because we we're reading zodiac stuff on pinterest. All the stuff for my sign is always either the most bada$$, or the worst, it seems. Basically, I got scared that everyone was going to think I was gross and inappropriate and a pervert because of my zodiac sign (it also doesn't help that I'm a lesbian, and it was an all girls party haha. Although there was only one straight girl out of us four). I spent like the entire night freaking out and trying not to cry and I somehow managed to keep it under wraps because nobody noticed. Ironically, I don't even believe in zodiacs, cause they're all so vague and I can relate to literally any of them, given the right reading or whatever. Wow that was really long winded haha oh my god I'm so sorry about freaking wall of a paragraph

Um, I'm not real sure on the possible adhd. I read the list of symptoms you have to have, and that there have to be like 5-6 depending on how old you are, and I'm not sure whether I actually qualify. Recently, I've been having a lot of issues focusing on the books my dad's been having me read over the summer. Also, I've thought back a bit, and I realized sometimes I have this difficulty in school too. It's like, I understand how to do the thing, but actually putting it into practice... sometimes I just stare at my paper trying to think. I've also noticed that my mind tends to wander during this time, and I get distracted thinking about that shiny gen1 I saw on the AH yesterday, or about this character So-and-so who accidentally got stuck on a chandelier half-drunk, or about how I'll be this famous comic artist someday... and then ruin it all and fail miserably. Sometimes I get distracted thinking about how I haven't talked to my friends in ages and I probably won't, or about how no one is ever going to want to read my sh*tty story, or about how I'm probably a terrible person. Sometimes I even get distracted thinking about whether I'm "actually" mentally ill or whatnot, or whether I am, in fact, faking it for attention/so I can feel special. Which is... kind of ironic and sad. I also get kind of philosophical sometimes. jesus christ how do I write so much?!?! I also really hate doing homework or anything that requires mental effort unless I chose to do the thing. It takes me hours to complete homework assignments that shouldn't take near as long, and that's just on things I'm more comfortable with, like math and science. If I have a big english assignment, it's pretty much a given that it'll take at least an entire night. Also I seem to daydream a lot, which is something I had forgotten about until I read through this thread. I mean, I guess it's daydreaming. I sometimes just think of these ideas that are oh so great, and it's like I've got this little video playing in my mind of this idea. It can be helpful for creativity, but it's literally not helpful in any other way. I do notice as well that sometimes I move a lot or I have like a lot of energy haha. I seem to have issues starting and doing things too, like some people said earlier in the thread, but I don't know if for me that's add/adhd, or because I just get anxious and procrastinate so I don't have to deal with it.

I'm sorry, I feel like some of the last part of this makes less sense than the first part. There was like a 2 hour long period that I stopped writing this because my dad started talking, and the last half-ish of the last paragraph was written after wards. It's also almost 3:30 am here, and that's probably contributing too.

Also, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to maybe join your discord server, please. I seem to have a hard time making friends online, especially on FR. I think it's probably because the main way of socializing is the forums, and coincidentally meeting people a few times doesn't build much of a friendship, at least for me. I could also just be bad at making friends. I realize though if you're uncomfortable letting someone who's undiagnosed or whatever on a server for neurodiverse ppl. I suppose, if nothing else, I could be kind of like an... ally? Like how there are straight allies for the LGBT+ community? I do want to understand what life is like for other people, so I can better my understand and myself as a person, and hopefully help to end stigmas and sh*t like that. I totally understand though if you'd rather not, I'll totally respect that if that's your choice.

Have a nice day! Also, again, I am sorry about the freaking book I just wrote. And the fact that this is like half rant, too. Honestly, I want to delete this so much.

@OpalTitanium not sure if you wanted to be pinged or not, sorry if not.

posting this is high-key really stressing me out haha
((legit made this a different font so its just possible to read xD)) @Calibris I'm wholeheartedly very happy you did not delete that post, it probably made my day. And posts like yours are everything I wanted and more from this thread and I'm so happy about that; I've also learned so much from posts like these on this thread.
Anyways, I too write books on legit anything with a text box BELIEVE ME XD (side note rambling and including a ton of things ((which honestly in my opinion is a really iconic unique and exciting trait to have)) is a pretty frequent thing with folks who have adhd so that's a thing xD) -- JUST A HEADS UP I USE HEAAPSS OF PARENTHESES cuz I legitimately just type my train of thought as it happens and pray people understand me LOL

Also even if you haven't been properly seen by a therapist, everything you're feeling is real and accepted and valid, even if there's not a label on them or whatever. And having those certain feelings during this time is understandable, although I truly want you to be okay (I know I don't know you but nobody deserves bad things, nobody deserves wanting to harm themselves). It seems you know where the helplines are at, but here is a clear source to many of them. I also made this google doc a while ago of only hotlines you can actually talk to.

-- and I relate to sooooo many things you said
Firstly the most prominent thing, I believe I also have social anxiety (undiagnosed as well- my adhd was diagnosed when i was seven though xD). It's quite different (and much more (weirdly?) situational) from how you experience it but I think there may be some things in common. I tend to not have an issue texting people and talking to randos online ((ooops)) and I in fact really enjoy it and meeting new people :D
HOWEVER one time my friend invited me to go to a museum with her and her fam and i may or may not have dryheaved several times beforehand o. o

For me its something about seeing people in person (although not usually (but occasionally lol) in an everyday, scheduled situation like school because that's just different idk), or talking to them over the phone especially through face time, that makes me s o nervous. Particularly if I really care about them/ am already friends with them. I'll get those nasty stomach pangs over and over and sometimes try to get out of things haha. To the best I can understand myself, it's because (I think this is pretty much an equivalent of fearing judgement, just weirdly specific) I'm terrified my friends will be disappointed in me and not find me amusing, and not have a good time with me. I'm scared they have a bajillion other people they like better (as it seems to be with you, I view many of my friends as like "cooler" and superior than me sometimes w more friends and more of a handle on life) and just -will stop liking me- after I do xyz with them?? Idk it's so illogical but
I also have that common anxiety about being in front of people etc although not as bad as the previous thing xD

But another thing: being in public places??? I cannot??? I absolutely neeed someone to be directly by my side (my sister has yelled at me multiple times because I'd literally be on her butt XD) and I utterly hate having to like "go get onions from the vegetable aisle" by myself because being around random people by myself makes me so infinitely uncomfortable, and I keep like bumping into ppl and not being able to navigate and i feel like a loser xD i'd jus rather not but people don't understand that :(

So anyway I may not have exactly experienced something like your party situation and the computer labs but I can definitely understand that thought process, and it's valid. I also have been really terrified to express certain ideas, wear certain things, do certain things, say stuff, etc because I just believe people will think I'm weird or silently judge me even tho no one cares? (it's why I have a hard time "breaking into" new clothes I buy XD) - I'm also extremely intimidated by most teachers idk-- oh fun story definitely relevant: back when school was a thing, i would have to walk through the cafeteria to get to the main hall, where I sat down in my huddle of like 3 people lol. The right door in the cafeteria was closer to that spot. seems like an obvious choice to use the right door... h o w e v e r, my crush who MIGHT I ADD i was (am, except i dont think i like them anymore omg i talk too much sdfowoiefjad) literally friends with (& she absolutely wouldnt mind me **SIMPLY WALKING BY**) sat on the very right side of the cafeteria.
Solution? im takin a hike HAHA

this is hard to follow i'm sorry

hOwEvEr, I honestly believe I can slowly become better with it, and so I really believe you can too! Honestly just one of those baby step things but, as long as you're walking XD

As for the adhd stuff o h b o y
I too, have a Ph.D in Staring at Papers
& honestly my mind wanders s o much. It's why adhd folks (at least I think) tend to forget things. There are just more interesting things to occupy my brain than "get the book". Fun story: once my mom asked for a book and I brought back hand sanitizer-
ANYWAY,
Also daydreaming about "how I'll be this famous comic artist someday" dude I fantasize my success like nobody's business XDD i'd legit consider it an activity at this point whoops
((really out of chronological order but, I don't believe in zodiacs either. I think they're cute but tbh all the stuff I'm following on insta is starting to annoy me a lot :/ But to me it still makes sense why you thought what you did, you weren't concerned with the sign so much as the negative things people were thinking about you because of it, and that makes sense!))
Also I see stuff as videos too! Almost movies honestly. Sometimes they're "helpful" to me because I'm thinking of a new art/ creature concept or something but usually they're not; however, heck, daydreaming is fun xD I personally don't think it has to be helpful :)
And anxiety + procrastination can absolutely (and usually are) be part of adhd too! Just ask my shower before which I take 3 hours of mental prep xD (i dont have anxiety of showers but like)
"I also really hate doing homework or anything that requires mental effort unless I chose to do the thing. It takes me hours to complete homework assignments that shouldn't take near as long" YUP to all of that. In fact, this caused me a C in english 102 and AP spanish senior (this past) year xD wnfiowefjw oops (I normally don't get C's but this pandemic.. uh.. and I have way less motivation just sitting at home). And yeah, I get the not caring too. Legit anything I'm not willing to do I almost can't do, and its so not okay for my age but h e y. And yeah, in fact most things that take people a short amount of time just take me so much longer (I can get quite worked up about that) like getting ready in the morning, -- oh I can eat food like the apocalypse is in 3 seconds but thats cuz eating can be boring XDD--, m a t h tests, learning certain things, REMEMBERING THINGS, figuring out how to do smth, all the stuff.
And regarding energy, I have adHd but tbh I think my H has dissipated over the years haha, although the chair I sat on during anatomy would disagree (was doing frikin ballet on that thing). ... this five paragraph essay would also disagree but idk entirely if thats hyperactive junk

... now whose the one who wrote a book O. o

A N Y W A Y S no need to stress :)
this thread is pure acceptance xD (I'll heckin ensure it stays that way)
And thank you so much for sharing, I mean it!

(also I'm subbed to this thread but I don't give a turd if you ping me haha, im not famous or anything xD, I kind of appreciate it because a lot of stuff gets lost when people don't think to ping others)
((legit made this a different font so its just possible to read xD)) @Calibris I'm wholeheartedly very happy you did not delete that post, it probably made my day. And posts like yours are everything I wanted and more from this thread and I'm so happy about that; I've also learned so much from posts like these on this thread.
Anyways, I too write books on legit anything with a text box BELIEVE ME XD (side note rambling and including a ton of things ((which honestly in my opinion is a really iconic unique and exciting trait to have)) is a pretty frequent thing with folks who have adhd so that's a thing xD) -- JUST A HEADS UP I USE HEAAPSS OF PARENTHESES cuz I legitimately just type my train of thought as it happens and pray people understand me LOL

Also even if you haven't been properly seen by a therapist, everything you're feeling is real and accepted and valid, even if there's not a label on them or whatever. And having those certain feelings during this time is understandable, although I truly want you to be okay (I know I don't know you but nobody deserves bad things, nobody deserves wanting to harm themselves). It seems you know where the helplines are at, but here is a clear source to many of them. I also made this google doc a while ago of only hotlines you can actually talk to.

-- and I relate to sooooo many things you said
Firstly the most prominent thing, I believe I also have social anxiety (undiagnosed as well- my adhd was diagnosed when i was seven though xD). It's quite different (and much more (weirdly?) situational) from how you experience it but I think there may be some things in common. I tend to not have an issue texting people and talking to randos online ((ooops)) and I in fact really enjoy it and meeting new people :D
HOWEVER one time my friend invited me to go to a museum with her and her fam and i may or may not have dryheaved several times beforehand o. o

For me its something about seeing people in person (although not usually (but occasionally lol) in an everyday, scheduled situation like school because that's just different idk), or talking to them over the phone especially through face time, that makes me s o nervous. Particularly if I really care about them/ am already friends with them. I'll get those nasty stomach pangs over and over and sometimes try to get out of things haha. To the best I can understand myself, it's because (I think this is pretty much an equivalent of fearing judgement, just weirdly specific) I'm terrified my friends will be disappointed in me and not find me amusing, and not have a good time with me. I'm scared they have a bajillion other people they like better (as it seems to be with you, I view many of my friends as like "cooler" and superior than me sometimes w more friends and more of a handle on life) and just -will stop liking me- after I do xyz with them?? Idk it's so illogical but
I also have that common anxiety about being in front of people etc although not as bad as the previous thing xD

But another thing: being in public places??? I cannot??? I absolutely neeed someone to be directly by my side (my sister has yelled at me multiple times because I'd literally be on her butt XD) and I utterly hate having to like "go get onions from the vegetable aisle" by myself because being around random people by myself makes me so infinitely uncomfortable, and I keep like bumping into ppl and not being able to navigate and i feel like a loser xD i'd jus rather not but people don't understand that :(

So anyway I may not have exactly experienced something like your party situation and the computer labs but I can definitely understand that thought process, and it's valid. I also have been really terrified to express certain ideas, wear certain things, do certain things, say stuff, etc because I just believe people will think I'm weird or silently judge me even tho no one cares? (it's why I have a hard time "breaking into" new clothes I buy XD) - I'm also extremely intimidated by most teachers idk-- oh fun story definitely relevant: back when school was a thing, i would have to walk through the cafeteria to get to the main hall, where I sat down in my huddle of like 3 people lol. The right door in the cafeteria was closer to that spot. seems like an obvious choice to use the right door... h o w e v e r, my crush who MIGHT I ADD i was (am, except i dont think i like them anymore omg i talk too much sdfowoiefjad) literally friends with (& she absolutely wouldnt mind me **SIMPLY WALKING BY**) sat on the very right side of the cafeteria.
Solution? im takin a hike HAHA

this is hard to follow i'm sorry

hOwEvEr, I honestly believe I can slowly become better with it, and so I really believe you can too! Honestly just one of those baby step things but, as long as you're walking XD

As for the adhd stuff o h b o y
I too, have a Ph.D in Staring at Papers
& honestly my mind wanders s o much. It's why adhd folks (at least I think) tend to forget things. There are just more interesting things to occupy my brain than "get the book". Fun story: once my mom asked for a book and I brought back hand sanitizer-
ANYWAY,
Also daydreaming about "how I'll be this famous comic artist someday" dude I fantasize my success like nobody's business XDD i'd legit consider it an activity at this point whoops
((really out of chronological order but, I don't believe in zodiacs either. I think they're cute but tbh all the stuff I'm following on insta is starting to annoy me a lot :/ But to me it still makes sense why you thought what you did, you weren't concerned with the sign so much as the negative things people were thinking about you because of it, and that makes sense!))
Also I see stuff as videos too! Almost movies honestly. Sometimes they're "helpful" to me because I'm thinking of a new art/ creature concept or something but usually they're not; however, heck, daydreaming is fun xD I personally don't think it has to be helpful :)
And anxiety + procrastination can absolutely (and usually are) be part of adhd too! Just ask my shower before which I take 3 hours of mental prep xD (i dont have anxiety of showers but like)
"I also really hate doing homework or anything that requires mental effort unless I chose to do the thing. It takes me hours to complete homework assignments that shouldn't take near as long" YUP to all of that. In fact, this caused me a C in english 102 and AP spanish senior (this past) year xD wnfiowefjw oops (I normally don't get C's but this pandemic.. uh.. and I have way less motivation just sitting at home). And yeah, I get the not caring too. Legit anything I'm not willing to do I almost can't do, and its so not okay for my age but h e y. And yeah, in fact most things that take people a short amount of time just take me so much longer (I can get quite worked up about that) like getting ready in the morning, -- oh I can eat food like the apocalypse is in 3 seconds but thats cuz eating can be boring XDD--, m a t h tests, learning certain things, REMEMBERING THINGS, figuring out how to do smth, all the stuff.
And regarding energy, I have adHd but tbh I think my H has dissipated over the years haha, although the chair I sat on during anatomy would disagree (was doing frikin ballet on that thing). ... this five paragraph essay would also disagree but idk entirely if thats hyperactive junk

... now whose the one who wrote a book O. o

A N Y W A Y S no need to stress :)
this thread is pure acceptance xD (I'll heckin ensure it stays that way)
And thank you so much for sharing, I mean it!

(also I'm subbed to this thread but I don't give a turd if you ping me haha, im not famous or anything xD, I kind of appreciate it because a lot of stuff gets lost when people don't think to ping others)
She/Her | Artwork

LEpJMnn.png rolz5s9.png
BT1N47G.pngLRdLP2V.pngmlHpBMC.png

OpalTitanium
1 2 3 4 5 6 7