“It’s kinda dumb and funky how they just blow a dog whistle and then the monsters are like ‘oh okay guess I’ll go kill, thanks for letting me know bro’”
“Shut your soggy cabbage face or I’ll fold you like a lawn chair and chuck you into the highway.”
My brother: “Geez! Why are you so heavy? I can barely push you!”
Me: “It’s the guilt.”
“Due to several reasons I am deciding to be an arsonist for today.”
“It’s okay! Water is good for your lungs!”
“I am hopeful that you will step in a puddle with socks on in the next five minutes.”
“If this isn’t poisoned, I’m gonna be severely disappointed when I drink it.”
“It’s kinda dumb and funky how they just blow a dog whistle and then the monsters are like ‘oh okay guess I’ll go kill, thanks for letting me know bro’”
“Shut your soggy cabbage face or I’ll fold you like a lawn chair and chuck you into the highway.”
My brother: “Geez! Why are you so heavy? I can barely push you!”
Me: “It’s the guilt.”
“Due to several reasons I am deciding to be an arsonist for today.”
“It’s okay! Water is good for your lungs!”
“I am hopeful that you will step in a puddle with socks on in the next five minutes.”
“If this isn’t poisoned, I’m gonna be severely disappointed when I drink it.”
Please keep in mind that my logic permit has expired and that the 76th color of the alphabet in the exact time of a parakeet eating a pie in June is equivalent to a giant whale-eating cantaloupe allergic to a chair made out of potato salami held by a sandwich that has beetle hands.
"Do not disturb the one who slumbers in my bed. That is where he rests so I'll take the couch"
"Do not disturb the one who slumbers in my bed. That is where he rests so I'll take the couch"
This is MY TIME TO SHINE
"Imagine a curtain made of sand"
"Self proclaimed 'so good at this'"
"I'm throwing teeth into the fire"
"There's a 14 second clip of her staring at avacados"
"Y'all want some frozen dirt?"
"I thought his coffee was green, my left leg hurts, and so does everything else"
“Home Depot isn’t a restaurant!” "It is if you want it to be!!"
This is MY TIME TO SHINE
"Imagine a curtain made of sand"
"Self proclaimed 'so good at this'"
"I'm throwing teeth into the fire"
"There's a 14 second clip of her staring at avacados"
"Y'all want some frozen dirt?"
"I thought his coffee was green, my left leg hurts, and so does everything else"
“Home Depot isn’t a restaurant!” "It is if you want it to be!!"
FroggedFriend
+2 FR Time | They/Them | Arcane
"Okay, I'm tearing out my spine. Would you like it on a platter?"
"I'm adding more fingers to the list ;)."
"Where did you think you could buy eyes?!" "I dunno, Walmart?"
Why are these all body-part related?
"Okay, I'm tearing out my spine. Would you like it on a platter?"
"I'm adding more fingers to the list ;)."
"Where did you think you could buy eyes?!" "I dunno, Walmart?"
Why are these all body-part related?
“They like vodka and this one likes making fire bombs with spray paint, so obviously they’re russian.”
“This one is a very good child. He’s also suffering from a demon following him everywhere and insomnia.”
“This one is also a determined good child, he probably has eaten soap once or twice.”
“This one is allergic to beets I think.”
“And this one...oh...don’t look at that one...she probably has rabies in her bowtie.”
“Pffft of course I know what that is, I live in the magical land of florida for cryin’ out loud!”
“Florida man has a place in all of our hearts.”
“They like vodka and this one likes making fire bombs with spray paint, so obviously they’re russian.”
“This one is a very good child. He’s also suffering from a demon following him everywhere and insomnia.”
“This one is also a determined good child, he probably has eaten soap once or twice.”
“This one is allergic to beets I think.”
“And this one...oh...don’t look at that one...she probably has rabies in her bowtie.”
“Pffft of course I know what that is, I live in the magical land of florida for cryin’ out loud!”
“Florida man has a place in all of our hearts.”
Please keep in mind that my logic permit has expired and that the 76th color of the alphabet in the exact time of a parakeet eating a pie in June is equivalent to a giant whale-eating cantaloupe allergic to a chair made out of potato salami held by a sandwich that has beetle hands.
Please don’t eat the weeds
"nurning sand" -me, at some point
"nurning sand" -me, at some point
"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing."
- Jean Louise "Scout" Finch, To Kill a Mocking-Bird
FR time +15/+16
“I don’t know how to be in pain.”
“Crap! Sorry I was dying.”
“I don’t know how to be in pain.”
“Crap! Sorry I was dying.”
"Life is only worth it if you're worth it. And that cookie not worth it, that's why I'm going to eat it."
"Life is only worth it if you're worth it. And that cookie not worth it, that's why I'm going to eat it."