Trigger Warnings: Heights, some sort of emotional abuse
Dreaming Techniques: None
I had 2 nightmares today. Woke up from one, hugged my mom (I'm visiting her), went to sleep again, had another one. The second one was just a nightmare in which I frantically looked for resources for a college assignment due in 5 minutes, and it wasn't finished, and I couldn't find ANYTHING.
The first nightmare was longer and more important so I'll write about it.
I was with my parents around a table in a big stadium field, where many people were watching the projection on a huge screen. Much like a drive-in cinema, but with a plethora of round tables that had round benches around them, spread across a stadium field. Except there was no ground. Just a bunch of grey clouds as far as the sight could reach. The benches were floating. At some point in the dream I could see the city beneath us, but by the point our surroundings became a stadium, it was just void and clouds.
If you fell, you fell to your death.
And they were really narrow, backless, round benches. The only thing you could do to not fall was sit perfectly still without losing balance. I was terrified. I'm not a person who's afraid of heights, by any means, but this was terrifying. And nobody seemed to care. My dad was p1ssed at me for being scared of falling. He was making a cardboard wristwatch as a gift for me to wear, but I couldn't even take it from him or put it on because I was terrified of letting go of the sides of the bench. He yelled at me and got irrationally angry because I wouldn't pay attention to what he was saying, because I was too scared of falling. (I mean, not out of character for him at all, but that's a whole other convo). My mom was calmly disappointed in me for not valuing my dad's gift, the cardboard wristwatch.
He called me ungrateful and my mother silently expressed agreement. But I was PANICKED. I couldn't thank him for a stupid cardboard watch, I was LOSING BALANCE and NEARLY FALLING TO MY DEATH. I started crying and telling them I was terrified of falling, and they told me I was exaggerating and I was just being unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant. (Also not very ooc of them. Roots in a real situation).
At one point a BTS concert started playing in the projection, and my dad got more angry than before because he hates them. My parents were like "aren't you happy? This is your favorite group!", "aren't you glad we're here and they're even playing music you love", but I couldn't even do anything out of fear. At this point my mom was coming way too close to me and she was pushing me off the bench with the side of her body by accident. I was nearly falling to the side, holding myself up with my legs around the legs of the bench, and my parents were getting mad that I wasn't enjoying the concert playing in the screen. They told me to dance and enjoy myself, but WHERE? There was no floor? Over the very narrow nearly falling over bench?? I was in panic, NEARLY FALLING, and all they cared to say was how I ungrateful I was for not enjoying the watch and the music, especially since my dad hated it so much and he was enduring it for me. I woke up with a knot in my stomach, got up, walked to the living room and hugged my mom.
tl;dr: I was sitting with my family in narrow floating benches, terrified of falling, crying in panic, and my parents not only didn't care, they actively called me ungrateful for not thanking them for being there and for their gifts that I was too scared to reach out for - because, again, I was too scared of losing balance and falling.
Dreaming Techniques: None
I had 2 nightmares today. Woke up from one, hugged my mom (I'm visiting her), went to sleep again, had another one. The second one was just a nightmare in which I frantically looked for resources for a college assignment due in 5 minutes, and it wasn't finished, and I couldn't find ANYTHING.
The first nightmare was longer and more important so I'll write about it.
I was with my parents around a table in a big stadium field, where many people were watching the projection on a huge screen. Much like a drive-in cinema, but with a plethora of round tables that had round benches around them, spread across a stadium field. Except there was no ground. Just a bunch of grey clouds as far as the sight could reach. The benches were floating. At some point in the dream I could see the city beneath us, but by the point our surroundings became a stadium, it was just void and clouds.
If you fell, you fell to your death.
And they were really narrow, backless, round benches. The only thing you could do to not fall was sit perfectly still without losing balance. I was terrified. I'm not a person who's afraid of heights, by any means, but this was terrifying. And nobody seemed to care. My dad was p1ssed at me for being scared of falling. He was making a cardboard wristwatch as a gift for me to wear, but I couldn't even take it from him or put it on because I was terrified of letting go of the sides of the bench. He yelled at me and got irrationally angry because I wouldn't pay attention to what he was saying, because I was too scared of falling. (I mean, not out of character for him at all, but that's a whole other convo). My mom was calmly disappointed in me for not valuing my dad's gift, the cardboard wristwatch.
He called me ungrateful and my mother silently expressed agreement. But I was PANICKED. I couldn't thank him for a stupid cardboard watch, I was LOSING BALANCE and NEARLY FALLING TO MY DEATH. I started crying and telling them I was terrified of falling, and they told me I was exaggerating and I was just being unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant. (Also not very ooc of them. Roots in a real situation).
At one point a BTS concert started playing in the projection, and my dad got more angry than before because he hates them. My parents were like "aren't you happy? This is your favorite group!", "aren't you glad we're here and they're even playing music you love", but I couldn't even do anything out of fear. At this point my mom was coming way too close to me and she was pushing me off the bench with the side of her body by accident. I was nearly falling to the side, holding myself up with my legs around the legs of the bench, and my parents were getting mad that I wasn't enjoying the concert playing in the screen. They told me to dance and enjoy myself, but WHERE? There was no floor? Over the very narrow nearly falling over bench?? I was in panic, NEARLY FALLING, and all they cared to say was how I ungrateful I was for not enjoying the watch and the music, especially since my dad hated it so much and he was enduring it for me. I woke up with a knot in my stomach, got up, walked to the living room and hugged my mom.
tl;dr: I was sitting with my family in narrow floating benches, terrified of falling, crying in panic, and my parents not only didn't care, they actively called me ungrateful for not thanking them for being there and for their gifts that I was too scared to reach out for - because, again, I was too scared of losing balance and falling.