General Discussion

Nonbinary male-leaning here.

I'm lucky in that I managed to get people to refer to me by my chosen name (I'm on my second name now and it's likely the one I'm keeping); I've been out as trans as of...about a little over three years ago? But there's still people who will slip up and refer to me in the female sense. I like to think I pass in a binder and with the right clothing/haircut but the voice is something I still need to work on and without binding (which I don't do often for health/safety reasons), but... the goal is for people to see me as a guy without needing any medical transition to prove it. Which is... admittedly a long journey.

I've honestly just learnt to be... well... patient. Especially if it's friends/family who've only known me under a certain identity or grown up with a heteronormative way of thinking. Because they need time to adjust as well. And it's tiring, very very tiring, but... I have to remind myself that they're learning and adjusting just as much as I am, if not more (as is the case with my mother who, while accepting, has to undo layers of mental association when it comes to raising a son rather than the biological daughter they've known all these years).

Just keep your head up and realise that what words other people use to define you doesn't negate what you feel on the inside. For this reason, I've gradually built up an endurance to let most misgendering slide off, at least in the pronouns sense when someone accidentally uses "she/her". If it's "daughter", "girl", "woman" or "lady" there is some sting of course, but... that's where I try to keep my own integrity and self preservation above all else and politely inform them that I don't indentify that way.

It depends on what the situation is. If they deliberately misgender you, then I just tent to stick my nose in the air and walk away, they aren't worth your time if they are deliberately trying to panic you.

If it by accident, then you have to be patient. It is annoying, not being able to take actions, but you have no control over what people say. You have to remind yourself that it is easy to forget pronouns, or some may actually be trying to use the correct ones, but are failing to. Just remind yourself that it isn't your fault, and it isn't theirs. Also remind them of your preferred pronouns.

Also, if you're meeting someone for the first time, and they misgender you, definitely correct them. This should get them into the habit, though sometimes it doesn't if your appearance isn't stereotypical of your gender, or if your pronouns aren't he or she pronouns.

@SparkySpro

I can understand how you feel. It is a scary thing to deal with for a lot of people because they fear repercussions of their well-meant actions. It's a tough topic and hard to judge. One of my best friends on the planet I actually had no idea what gender she was when I first met her, and her name was a unisex one which made it tougher. It was a really awkward situation, and I've since adopted using neutral terms to avoid misgendering someone and making an extremely embarrassing mistake. (I later found out that she gets it a lot because she dresses like a guy and it doesn't even bother her, lol.)

But honestly, in my experience, pretty much everyone is cool with it as long as you actively make an effort to call them by their proper pronouns. I mean, no one is perfect and no one knows everyone's story. People mistake prefixes all the time, like calling a doctor by Mr/s. And if the person flips out off the bat, well, you're not the problem.