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TOPIC | How to make friends when...
You're an introvert and ancient*?

Background: I have been feeling lonely and most of my friends live in areas that are not Near Me, thus I find myself having an increasing amount of evenings and weekends where I don't really have anyone to do things with or talk to when they are busy. And I have nothing against being alone - I am an introvert - but there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.

I've also been having a hard time making friends online (which is where I met a number of my friends). So it's time to do something about it, and like, open myself up to... meeting new people and making friends.

Problem: Most of the advice I've turned up through various Google searches tends to be okay, but mostly end up with "go to places and talk to people" or rely on work friends, which are both a bit eh (deal with social anxiety and y'know, the entire introvert thing; and I work in a university, a lot of my colleagues are transitory and departments are small and heavily siloed).

So, FR, what are some tricks and tips you have used to make friends?




(*Ancient = 30+**


**So old, I know. (for the record, I'm 33.***)

***This is totally not a plea to be my friend, but hey, if you want, come talk to me?)
You're an introvert and ancient*?

Background: I have been feeling lonely and most of my friends live in areas that are not Near Me, thus I find myself having an increasing amount of evenings and weekends where I don't really have anyone to do things with or talk to when they are busy. And I have nothing against being alone - I am an introvert - but there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.

I've also been having a hard time making friends online (which is where I met a number of my friends). So it's time to do something about it, and like, open myself up to... meeting new people and making friends.

Problem: Most of the advice I've turned up through various Google searches tends to be okay, but mostly end up with "go to places and talk to people" or rely on work friends, which are both a bit eh (deal with social anxiety and y'know, the entire introvert thing; and I work in a university, a lot of my colleagues are transitory and departments are small and heavily siloed).

So, FR, what are some tricks and tips you have used to make friends?




(*Ancient = 30+**


**So old, I know. (for the record, I'm 33.***)

***This is totally not a plea to be my friend, but hey, if you want, come talk to me?)
@cyn

I feel ya. The friends I've made are all completely coincidental. They're from one-thing-lead-to-another type situations.

I met mine doing what I like to do, for the most part. Like, I didn't go out. I rarely do. But I did do cons like twice a year, which is funny because I always end up in the board game room being all introverted again to stay away from the crowds. That's where I happened to meet a small group of people--over a game. I can't remember which...I bet one of them does. But we got their contact info, and they started running campaigns on mondays and wednesdays. A few months later, after getting my schedule readjusted, I now have game nights! :D

Actually all my friends are from those odd cons I went to...except for my high school buddy.

Also RPs. I forgot to mention, running or joining RPs is a great way to make some good friends. That's how I met Nony.

So maybe in that one or two things you do like to do, find someone who shares your passions?
@cyn

I feel ya. The friends I've made are all completely coincidental. They're from one-thing-lead-to-another type situations.

I met mine doing what I like to do, for the most part. Like, I didn't go out. I rarely do. But I did do cons like twice a year, which is funny because I always end up in the board game room being all introverted again to stay away from the crowds. That's where I happened to meet a small group of people--over a game. I can't remember which...I bet one of them does. But we got their contact info, and they started running campaigns on mondays and wednesdays. A few months later, after getting my schedule readjusted, I now have game nights! :D

Actually all my friends are from those odd cons I went to...except for my high school buddy.

Also RPs. I forgot to mention, running or joining RPs is a great way to make some good friends. That's how I met Nony.

So maybe in that one or two things you do like to do, find someone who shares your passions?
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@Purnip

Yeah, that's pretty much how I did make my current group of friends - through joining an RP (online) and through things like cons, when I was going. I guess I should start going back to cons, or checking out game stores, or something.

Thanks for the advice, Purnip!
@Purnip

Yeah, that's pretty much how I did make my current group of friends - through joining an RP (online) and through things like cons, when I was going. I guess I should start going back to cons, or checking out game stores, or something.

Thanks for the advice, Purnip!
@cyn Oh boy do I feel you!

I'm younger than you but I've been through similar experiences....with the added bonus of my being difficult to deal with so I inadvertently severed a lot of my RL friendships about two years ago. The ones that still stuck with me despite my problems have either left or slowly drifted away to other groups of friends. And I'm honestly not the type to strike a conversation with a random person unless they look like we could have something in common...which is hard to come by.

Purnip gave some excellent advice! I myself learned how amazing cons are for making friends. I even ended up becoming best friends with a YouTuber! Expos or festivals are pretty cool too. Look up any music festivals you think you'd like, or go to book/game fairs if that's up your alley.

As for online friends, the best thing I can tell you is to start interacting with people you share similar interests. For example, I use tumblr a lot, and about two years ago I was into a band called ONE OK ROCK, so I frequented the tag to see fan content. I noticed a girl was making really awesome covers of some of their songs, so I started commenting and telling her what I liked the most about her songs, and she then started asking me advice for her future covers. Now she's one of my closest friends! We've even mailed stuff to each other!

The rest of my online friends, I've met through chat groups and mutual friends. My friend added me to a group chat she had with some other friends, and the group grew from there.

Anyways, sorry for the wall of text! Didn't mean to ramble on. Hope this helps! Good luck!
@cyn Oh boy do I feel you!

I'm younger than you but I've been through similar experiences....with the added bonus of my being difficult to deal with so I inadvertently severed a lot of my RL friendships about two years ago. The ones that still stuck with me despite my problems have either left or slowly drifted away to other groups of friends. And I'm honestly not the type to strike a conversation with a random person unless they look like we could have something in common...which is hard to come by.

Purnip gave some excellent advice! I myself learned how amazing cons are for making friends. I even ended up becoming best friends with a YouTuber! Expos or festivals are pretty cool too. Look up any music festivals you think you'd like, or go to book/game fairs if that's up your alley.

As for online friends, the best thing I can tell you is to start interacting with people you share similar interests. For example, I use tumblr a lot, and about two years ago I was into a band called ONE OK ROCK, so I frequented the tag to see fan content. I noticed a girl was making really awesome covers of some of their songs, so I started commenting and telling her what I liked the most about her songs, and she then started asking me advice for her future covers. Now she's one of my closest friends! We've even mailed stuff to each other!

The rest of my online friends, I've met through chat groups and mutual friends. My friend added me to a group chat she had with some other friends, and the group grew from there.

Anyways, sorry for the wall of text! Didn't mean to ramble on. Hope this helps! Good luck!