Vayne

she/they - bought for 1 egg

song here

known as a whole as "vayne," the two heads were once part of a very unsuccessful late night comedy talkshow. the two were in danger of losing their timeslot and show due to lackluster viewer count and debt. they somewhat resemble ventriloquist puppets.

one day, as they stumbled through an alleyway, they were stopped by an odd salesman known as "HYPERLINK." he offered them many trinkets and baubles, but what caught their attention was a perfectly pristine rotary telephone, painted a shiny black. though HYPERLINK seemed reluctant to sell it, after some bargaining, vayne left the exchange with a cool telephone in their claws.

out of curiosity, the two decided to try to use the phone. before they had even tried to dial anyone, the phone rang. they picked it up and were surprised to hear a smooth, yet staticky voice answer on the opposite side. promised riches and the chance to be famous, the abberation listened to what the voice had to say.

suddenly, their show was the talk of the town. with their new personas as "crash and burn", they were found to be much more likeable. "crash," the left head, was optimistic, lacked a filter, and tended to act first, think later. "burn", the right head, was cynical and criticized crash often, though she made no attempt to stop crash from doing dumb stuff. their newfound sense of humor and general antics were beloved by viewers, and they quickly recovered from their debts and were living life much more happily.

then the phone stopped ringing. the voice stopped calling. desperate, vayne tried to reach out to the voice again. they needed the voice to tell them what to do. what the viewers wanted. the show plummeted again. it was all over.

in a fit of rage, they tried to destroy the phone. no matter what they did to it, though, it always turned back up looking new as ever. wallowing in despair, vayne struggled to regain the popularity they had when their show was at the top of the charts, unable to regain a foothold. a desperate insanity overtook them, their talkshow personas overtaking who they once were. crash and burn, they indeed did.


art by dragonsmom