Pikabu
(#73334044)
~~~Mar. 28, 2008 - Oct. 25, 2021~~~
Shinoda
Maned Rasa
Click or tap to view this dragon in Predict Morphology.
Energy: 48/50
This dragon’s natural inborn element is Fire.
Female Pearlcatcher
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Collapse the dragon details section.
Personal Style
Apparel
Skin
Scene
Measurements
Length
4.74 m
Wingspan
4.66 m
Weight
356.32 kg
Genetics
Cantaloupe
Tiger
Tiger
Cantaloupe
Stripes
Stripes
White
Underbelly
Underbelly
Hatchday
Breed
Eye Type
Level 1 Pearlcatcher
EXP: 0 / 245
STR
6
AGI
7
DEF
6
QCK
7
INT
7
VIT
5
MND
6
Lineage
Biography
This dragon is dedicated to my cat, my best friend of almost thirteen years.
I love you very much, Pikabu, I miss you and think of you always.
---March 28, 2008 - October 25, 2021---
Pikabu was born from a litter of three, and was one of two orange tabbies in the litter. We were not good at telling cats' genders at the time, so her name was originally William because of the 'W' shaped striping on her forehead. She had beautiful golden eyes. She also belonged to my sister until we found her previous cat (long story) and after Pikabu's mother, Amanda, had her second litter, I gave Pikabu all of the attention to ensure she didn't feel left out or replaced. And I guess she took it to heart because she became more attached to me from then on. When my sister's cat passed away and Amanda rehomed herself after having a third litter at the neighbor's, Pikabu stayed. Not long after, we got Alivia. She belonged to my sister.
She was the best cat. Incredibly well-behaved, she had this quirk that she'd 'bark' at birds that she couldn't get to. So much so that her first tag for her collar was bone-shaped. A tag i now keep on my keys. She loved chasing these 'fuzzies', which where pipe cleaners that were wound into little discs or donuts. We'd toss them across the room and she'd run after them and a good majority of the time, she would bring them back and bat at them at our feet. She would also let me lift her up to stand on my shoulder. I think she enjoyed that plenty because she jumped onto my back unprompted and clawed up my back trying to get to my shoulder.
I had Pikabu all throughout my high school career. She stayed with me when I moved apartments two doors down, into a house with my parents and when we picked up a little brother, Alastor (no, not like the other pearlcatcher I have, but spelled the same), when I moved to my first apartment, and then some. However, my last apartment, early 2021, I noticed a lump. She was 12. She had been in excellent health save for a fever she got back in 2017. But this lump concerned me. We were getting ready to move, and I started having car troubles... We weren't in the financial position to get her looked at. Not long after we did move, the lump had started bleeding. We had enough for at least a checkup at the time, during May. It was a tumor. And the surgery was 1100$. Not something we were able to afford.
I was desperate. I'd had this cat for so long, she was so full of love and she acted as though everything was fine, so I turned to gofundme, I started boosting my commission page and even spread the word to my friends and family. And through some God-given miracle, we got the money within the second week. I scheduled the appointment immediately and we had the tumor removed. They had it examined.
But it was malignant. And the cells had spread. It only took a few months for the tumor to grow back. And bleed... She had started growing other lumps, her joints started to ache to the point that she couldn't jump the baby gates anymore. And she started coughing this awful dry cough. So once she started bleeding again, we knew it was time. I always had it in my head that she was so healthy. But the bottom line was, over the last month, she wasn't. Not anymore. She was in pain. She was old. Getting the tumor removed would have cost another 1100$ that we didn't have and I couldn't expect from that Saint that donated the 1000 in the first place again. It was time.
We saw the bleeding Saturday night at about midnight. The vet was closed. Sunday I hardly left her side as we'd already made the decision. Monday morning, I called the vet and scheduled an appointment. It was hard. That was my best friend of almost thirteen years. I woke up my husband to let him say goodbye before I took her to the vet for the last time.
I'm not going into detail, but I'm sure the message is clear. She's gone. I didn't bring her home. I feel like I failed her constantly. Often questioning whether I did the right thing or not. But what else could I have done? She was in pain. And I couldn't just let her live in pain, nor could I ignore the fact that she had an open, bleeding sore on her belly.
She lived a good, happy life. I gave her the best life I could have full of love. She would sit by me any chance she had if she didn't want to hide under the bed and sleep. She would sit with me when I did anything in the bathroom. She curled up on my lap when I would put my kid to bed. Her last night, she curled up on my lap and fell asleep. It broke my heart.
Thank you for everything, my sweet baby girl. My pretty baby. My pumpkin roll. My heart aches thinking of our last moments together, but I know you're at peace.
Photos
(Cuddling with Alastor)
(This is why my sister called her 'Turkey')
(I miss these moments. She did this every morning while I was working.)
(Photobombed by husband's foot haha)
(Had to start putting her in onsies after her surgery from the first tumor.)
(Taken an hour before I made that last appointment for her. This is the last photo ever taken of her.)
I love you very much, Pikabu, I miss you and think of you always.
---March 28, 2008 - October 25, 2021---
Pikabu was born from a litter of three, and was one of two orange tabbies in the litter. We were not good at telling cats' genders at the time, so her name was originally William because of the 'W' shaped striping on her forehead. She had beautiful golden eyes. She also belonged to my sister until we found her previous cat (long story) and after Pikabu's mother, Amanda, had her second litter, I gave Pikabu all of the attention to ensure she didn't feel left out or replaced. And I guess she took it to heart because she became more attached to me from then on. When my sister's cat passed away and Amanda rehomed herself after having a third litter at the neighbor's, Pikabu stayed. Not long after, we got Alivia. She belonged to my sister.
She was the best cat. Incredibly well-behaved, she had this quirk that she'd 'bark' at birds that she couldn't get to. So much so that her first tag for her collar was bone-shaped. A tag i now keep on my keys. She loved chasing these 'fuzzies', which where pipe cleaners that were wound into little discs or donuts. We'd toss them across the room and she'd run after them and a good majority of the time, she would bring them back and bat at them at our feet. She would also let me lift her up to stand on my shoulder. I think she enjoyed that plenty because she jumped onto my back unprompted and clawed up my back trying to get to my shoulder.
I had Pikabu all throughout my high school career. She stayed with me when I moved apartments two doors down, into a house with my parents and when we picked up a little brother, Alastor (no, not like the other pearlcatcher I have, but spelled the same), when I moved to my first apartment, and then some. However, my last apartment, early 2021, I noticed a lump. She was 12. She had been in excellent health save for a fever she got back in 2017. But this lump concerned me. We were getting ready to move, and I started having car troubles... We weren't in the financial position to get her looked at. Not long after we did move, the lump had started bleeding. We had enough for at least a checkup at the time, during May. It was a tumor. And the surgery was 1100$. Not something we were able to afford.
I was desperate. I'd had this cat for so long, she was so full of love and she acted as though everything was fine, so I turned to gofundme, I started boosting my commission page and even spread the word to my friends and family. And through some God-given miracle, we got the money within the second week. I scheduled the appointment immediately and we had the tumor removed. They had it examined.
But it was malignant. And the cells had spread. It only took a few months for the tumor to grow back. And bleed... She had started growing other lumps, her joints started to ache to the point that she couldn't jump the baby gates anymore. And she started coughing this awful dry cough. So once she started bleeding again, we knew it was time. I always had it in my head that she was so healthy. But the bottom line was, over the last month, she wasn't. Not anymore. She was in pain. She was old. Getting the tumor removed would have cost another 1100$ that we didn't have and I couldn't expect from that Saint that donated the 1000 in the first place again. It was time.
We saw the bleeding Saturday night at about midnight. The vet was closed. Sunday I hardly left her side as we'd already made the decision. Monday morning, I called the vet and scheduled an appointment. It was hard. That was my best friend of almost thirteen years. I woke up my husband to let him say goodbye before I took her to the vet for the last time.
I'm not going into detail, but I'm sure the message is clear. She's gone. I didn't bring her home. I feel like I failed her constantly. Often questioning whether I did the right thing or not. But what else could I have done? She was in pain. And I couldn't just let her live in pain, nor could I ignore the fact that she had an open, bleeding sore on her belly.
She lived a good, happy life. I gave her the best life I could have full of love. She would sit by me any chance she had if she didn't want to hide under the bed and sleep. She would sit with me when I did anything in the bathroom. She curled up on my lap when I would put my kid to bed. Her last night, she curled up on my lap and fell asleep. It broke my heart.
Thank you for everything, my sweet baby girl. My pretty baby. My pumpkin roll. My heart aches thinking of our last moments together, but I know you're at peace.
Photos
(Cuddling with Alastor)
(This is why my sister called her 'Turkey')
(I miss these moments. She did this every morning while I was working.)
(Photobombed by husband's foot haha)
(Had to start putting her in onsies after her surgery from the first tumor.)
(Taken an hour before I made that last appointment for her. This is the last photo ever taken of her.)
Nov. 26, 2021
It's the day after Thanksgiving. I talked about you quite a bit yesterday. The family I started going to for thanksgiving lost their cat back in June. She was about the same age, apparently. But I mentioned you as we went around the table with 'what are we thankful for this year?' and said that I was thankful for the 13-year-long relationship we had.
It's weird not having you around... Alastor's been lonely. Yes, he's normally clingy, but he's... so attached right now. He's yelling at my husband as I'm typing this, demanding attention and pets... You know he usually goes for him. I miss you, though. Your cuddles... how you'd sit at waist-level and paw at us to pet you. How you'd sometimes nip at us if we stop petting you for even just half a second. Your squeaky meows when you were announcing your presence... Your shedding. There are shirts that you slept on that I've been refusing to wear because it's still dusted with your fur that I just don't have the heart to clean or disturb.
I've put together a little box for you. It's got your collar, the last onsie you wore. A brand-new heart-shaped fuzzy that I made (of course I made one for Alastor and threw it for him), a tiny bottle of catnip, I even washed and fixed that old shirt you had when you were a kitten! You probably hated it, but... it had a special spot in your hearts because of you. It was barely being held together by the threads at the seams, but I fixed it. I also saved... receipts... from... from the vet... at the bottom of the box.
I understand that I'm writing this to the... departed... and a cat... and on a website with pixel dragons where just anyone could read this... but it brings me peace of mind. I've been feeling emotionally... I think the expression if emotionally constipated. Or just... I don't know. I've been feeling dead inside... but... not in a meme way. Defeated. I know I always say I'm depressed- I mean- I am depressed, but... Grief hits different. The night before I took you to the vet, my chest felt so heavy. I felt so weighed down by just dread, it was almost hard to breathe. I could barely function. I still shut down when I get flashbacks of holding you in that office. I cried just a few minutes ago when I was typing this, I had to take a minute and turn and focus on something else.
I might try and write more of these... installments. When I'm feeling lonely again, I guess. I'd been calling the vet about that clay pawprint I was supposed to get after... that. But... Apparently there was an error and the order for the print was never received, or made, or something, but they didn't even get your pawprint. The office manager, she was out on medical leave for the last month and a half or whatever, and explained that she had no idea what had gone wrong, but she deeply apologized and refunded me for the visit. I bawled when I got off the phone. I don't know why, it was probably my trust issues, but I had a suspicion that they had lost the pawprint. I... I somehow knew that was going to happen. And... Of course, of course it's upsetting. But what can I do? You've been gone a month now and I just had this phone call less than a week ago. It was far too late to get the print- I... I was anticipating it for the little box-
Of course right now, as I'm typing this, Flight Rising is showing me ads for a pet pharmacy, and they have an image of an orange tabby cat at the bottom, staring at me as I write out this letter to you.
Seriously though... Thank you for being my friend. My support. For being there when I was upset, for curling up with me on that last night. I cried, and I didn't sleep the entire time, but that last cuddle was worth every moment and I wished it didn't have to end. I love you.
Love, Mom
Jan. 24, 2022
Had a dream about you last night. It wasn't the first one, but it is the only one I remember right now. I was leaving my room to go to the bathroom and you were sitting in the hall between the doors, waiting for me. You meowed and and stood up, tail straight up into the air. You were ready to follow me in, as you did.
But I knew it wasn't real... I knew you weren't really here. But instead of getting scared or angry that my late cat was standing in my hall, or being overjoyed and in denial that you never died... I just- I knelt down and I pet you. Behind your ears, around your cheeks and jaw, around the sides of your neck where your collar sat, Your sides, your chest.
And you'd purr. You'd purr so loudly. It was a short-lived dream but dammit, it was sweet. It felt more like a memory than a temporary reunion. It was early morning. The sunlight wasn't coming into the living room just yet. Dad and the baby were still asleep. Alastor was curled up between Dad's feet. Like he does. It was all so faint. But it felt real. I miss you. A lot. I'm not thinking about that vet visit so often anymore. I think it's best. I'll just keep remembering how soft your fur was, how your purrs and your voice sounded. How you'd roll around on the floor when you were happy and excited about something.
It's hard. It's been hard. Most days lately it's the grief. Other days it's just my usual depression. When you sat by my side, and when you let me hug you, it made things feel okay. I miss it. I miss you. And if I'm honest, Alastor is not nearly as good a hugger as you were. He's getting to be a decent cuddler though. But... he's not the Mama's Boy he used to be.
I'm trying to keep it together. As best as I can. And me doing the best I can do is all that can be asked of me.
Always thinking of you, Mom.
Oct. 6, 2022
It's been a while. I've discovered that I can't listen to a certain song without it emotionally punching me because of our last night: Fall Out Boy's Bishop's Knife Trick. I was listening to the album on the way home from taking Dad to work (my dad, not Husband) and it felt like I was emotionally hit by a semi truck. It was rough.
Anyway... Husband adopted a kitten recently. We named him Dante and he's just as psychotic as Alastor was at that age. Alastor tolerates him surprisingly well. We were almost expecting them to fight all the time but Alastor treats him like a little brother. Little guy's nuts, running around the living room and tearing down everything in his path as I write.
I don't have a whole lot else to talk about, admittedly.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately because it's coming up on the 1-year mark. And of course, this dragon is on the first page of my lair, right after my progens, so I see her every time I hop onto Flight Rising.
Thinking of you always, Mom.
Jul. 20, 2023
I had a moment the other day. I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I put together a memorial in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It's a whole hill on the top right corner of the map, I call it Pikabu's Hill.
Creative, I know.
But it's got blue and gold roses everywhere, some pink, some orange, some white. Stepping stones in a path leading up the hill, orange and yellow pumpkins (y'know, because you were my pumpkin roll), some cat-related furniture, I made a pattern where it just looks like you laying under a tablecloth.
I know it's in a video game, but it meant a lot to me. What's more, is when I climb up that hill and go up those vines to visit, the music goes quiet. Almost like the game knows. It's peaceful up there.
Your aunt started giving me her extra gold roses to put them in your corner. I'm going to have to bring in some screenshots, just to share. I love that corner so much and no matter how much I'll remodel my island, that corner will never change.
On an unrelated note: Dante's gotten big. He's taken a liking to me more than Dad, kind of like how Alastor had taken more of a liking to Dad than me. But it's uncanny- I took a picture of him this morning, and I swear, I saw you in his eyes. He was 'loafed' on Dad's bean bag chair and I thought it was funny with how tiny he was compared to this massive bean bag and since his eyes blend in with his face sometimes, I called his attention to look up so the picture would catch them better. And... Yeah, he looked a lot like you at that moment.
That's what prompted me to write today. Things are going well, I'm working on a fic that's just demolishing people's feeling with recent chapters, I started a new job. I've started a couple jobs since I last wrote, but most notably, I started a job that makes me happy, which was a big issue since last year. That job I was driving my dad to? I work with him now. Who'd have thought? I work hands-on on a construction site with fiber optic cables now.
I love you, Mom.
Oct. 25, 2023
It's been two years. Yesterday, your aunt messaged me asking if I could call her after work. Alivia hasn't been eating or drinking water. She's been lethargic... we're worried it might be her time. I drove them to the vet last night, only to be told, 'she's uncomfy around her stomach area, that would definitely make her not want to eat, but we're gonna want blood work, an x-ray, give her some fluids, get a urine sample, we might want to consider hospitalization, apply to XYZ program for $3000 just to be safe.'
We applied. And we applied. And we applied. And we applied. She applied. I applied. We both applied. The program kept denying us. She looked into a credit card program that would go a year with no interest as long as it's paid off within that time, but she gets paid like- $480 a week which she can't afford because she's in college (surprise).
We've... accepted that it's time... She wants me to go over and say goodbye, but right now I can't bring myself to get up. and instead I'm... writing to this... I need to go. Will update soon.
Grieving again, Mom.
Oct. 26, 2023
Aliva had an appointment with the humane society today. She'd had ongoing liver failure, and they told her she made the right decision. She'd gotten worse since I saw her last night- starting to vomit whenever she even drank water. She couldn't walk without wobbling...
It was time.
She had a good life. I hope you two are spending time together again.
I did get to say goodbye last night. Husband made me eat something before I took off. That was my only chance to see her.
I've been kinda numb over the last couple of days. Getting Bishop's Knife Trick stuck in my head again.
I've picked the dragon for Alivia. I'm going to keep her in this tab, too.
I love you. Both of you.
Shinoda's Awakening
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14
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Purchased, Gened, and Written October 30, 2021
Photos Added November 11, 2021
Accent approved and applied December 15, 2021
Photos Added November 11, 2021
Accent approved and applied December 15, 2021
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