Luciel

You were an angel once
That was a very long time ago


Cloudy tears crash to the ground, the result of my rotting insides seeking an escape.

How many nights have I lost? In a never-ending transition of time to space to space-time, I don't know where I've ended up. I know I'm young from the supple nature of my skin, but my insides ache from the pain of death that has crept over my heart.

Pieces of me have shattered. Bits of my old personality have splintered inside, and I can't remember how to put the pieces back together. It is a strange, twisting jigsaw puzzle, and I do not remember how to play.

With the death of me, as my blood has thinned, the lack of oxygen is suffocating. The weight of broken promises and the sound of emptiness that remembers his steps walking away, I can't shut it out.

My mind can't escape the memories that replay in my head. I dwell on little instances and wonder what, precisely, I did wrong. Should I have reached out and held your hand? Should I have held back my opinion? Should I have stayed when you asked me to leave?

No matter how many seconds I pick over and analyze, though, I cannot figure out where things strayed, where good intentions paved my path to a broken heart. I gave my best, but it seems it wasn't good enough.

Are you looking? Do you see me? I struggle with my emotions, but I so desperately want to impress you. To see the look of pride on your face, it is almost like a game. I want to earn your smile, and you won't award the prize.

Have you felt what I have felt? Crumbled down to earth, I feel like a child. Small in stature and power and nature, but still, I want that childlike joy of idealism and hope. My nerves remember the feel of warmth and my heart remembers the feeling of happiness. And I promise that I will do better. I will not fail you again.

Oh, I do not want to be your broken angel any longer. But I do not remember how to put the pieces back together. Will you give me those words I so desperately need to hear?

And I promise it was not your fault. It was never your fault.

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If lost, return to SetoPool. He's an old man with dementia so he sometimes wanders into other clans on accident :P