Chasing Something Impossible? (LONG) | General Discussion

Man, I've been feeling this for a while, but only now did I get overwhelmed enough to open up. I feel very much like a black sheep in my group. Everyone has run and gone to college and reaching other great goals in life. Moving out. Staying close. Etc.

I feel very left behind and alone in my situation. I didn't go to college. I couldn't. No college would accept me due to my very poor GPA (which really has left me shattered since I graduated HS). Colleges that would accept me offered things I would never make a career out of.

Instead I hope to go to a "trade school" for taxidermy far away from home. I just won't be able to make it for the next couple of years due to money. I still live with my parents, can't drive, and work part-time at a gas station/general store. I'm honestly very unhappy with my current situation. Conversations feel awkward with friends now, as they talk about their amazing achievements, but I can't say much else because my life has been one big intermission. Nothing of substance has happened in almost a year and I feel that I will stay caught in this loop.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid every single day that I won't reach my end goal, become a Taxidermist and move 3 states away from my current one. I have always believed that if you are determined and dream it, you can make it. However, I'm really starting to question that belief. Will I make it there? Will I continue to fail like I did in school, graduating with only the skin of my teeth?

LittlePuppy

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February 23, 2019 00:58:36

Man, I've been feeling this for a while, but only now did I get overwhelmed enough to open up. I feel very much like a black sheep in my group. Everyone has run and gone to college and reaching other great goals in life. Moving out. Staying close. Etc.

I feel very left behind and alone in my situation. I didn't go to college. I couldn't. No college would accept me due to my very poor GPA (which really has left me shattered since I graduated HS). Colleges that would accept me offered things I would never make a career out of.

Instead I hope to go to a "trade school" for taxidermy far away from home. I just won't be able to make it for the next couple of years due to money. I still live with my parents, can't drive, and work part-time at a gas station/general store. I'm honestly very unhappy with my current situation. Conversations feel awkward with friends now, as they talk about their amazing achievements, but I can't say much else because my life has been one big intermission. Nothing of substance has happened in almost a year and I feel that I will stay caught in this loop.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid every single day that I won't reach my end goal, become a Taxidermist and move 3 states away from my current one. I have always believed that if you are determined and dream it, you can make it. However, I'm really starting to question that belief. Will I make it there? Will I continue to fail like I did in school, graduating with only the skin of my teeth?

{Puppy} {FR +2} {Goat Lover} {22} {They/Them}

@LittlePuppy

I think you will reach your goal, and before it becomes a worry, I want to remind you to not let age bother you. Like ever. Use your chances while you are young but don't ever let it demotivate you as years progress.
Plus, there's always time for college later on, I feel like our chances will only increase as time goes on.

Do not take lower grades, 'failure', not being in college as something bad or incapability.

Read books meanwhile, meet with groups who share this interest, talk about it, see if there are any courses near until you can move, work on it! Also hey, it's a few states away! We often talk of people who've traveled across continents before getting close to what they want, and they managed.

(I'm not trying to say that moving between states isn't easy, I'm getting... phantom anxiety thinking about it, I'm just trying to reassure.)

While I do believe daydreaming and determination does boost our chances of achieving something, I've also found myself (as an avid daydreamer and someone who quit college 2 times) in situations where I stagnate due to the overwhelming thought of "not being able to make it" because I'm living my life slightly differently compared to what society has set as a norm. So, until I can move further (be it location wise or financially) to access what I am pursuing, I try to work with what I can.

If taxidermy is your goal, I'd suggest vulturing, if you haven't started yet! Sell things on etsy, start a small career out of it, post photos... being closer to this hobby will really help you with reaching your goal.

I mentioned I've bailed on college twice. I applied to an Art Academy once, second time was Ecology. I found bigger success in freelancing from home without an education, and informing myself and others on our ecological system from home, which for me branches into other spheres from the subject, but I don't want to derail. Point is, I am much more calmer, focused, motivated than I was when in school. Sure, sometimes (unfortunately) you don't get taken very seriously, even if you are better at what you do, compared to someone with a degree. But there are people who see your potential, so start seeing it yourself!

Speaking of licenses I have a feeling I'll fail my drivers, but this is a first, there's a second time, and if need be, a third. I will get it, and you will get yours. You are 18, I am sure you will get there.

I have so much to say but a lot of it is private examples from friends who are like me and you (relatively speaking, of course), but this is already a mess and already streteched enough. But as my signature states, feel free to message me if you need to talk more on it. <3

Saturnia

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February 23, 2019 04:25:41

@LittlePuppy

I think you will reach your goal, and before it becomes a worry, I want to remind you to not let age bother you. Like ever. Use your chances while you are young but don't ever let it demotivate you as years progress.
Plus, there's always time for college later on, I feel like our chances will only increase as time goes on.

Do not take lower grades, 'failure', not being in college as something bad or incapability.

Read books meanwhile, meet with groups who share this interest, talk about it, see if there are any courses near until you can move, work on it! Also hey, it's a few states away! We often talk of people who've traveled across continents before getting close to what they want, and they managed.

(I'm not trying to say that moving between states isn't easy, I'm getting... phantom anxiety thinking about it, I'm just trying to reassure.)

While I do believe daydreaming and determination does boost our chances of achieving something, I've also found myself (as an avid daydreamer and someone who quit college 2 times) in situations where I stagnate due to the overwhelming thought of "not being able to make it" because I'm living my life slightly differently compared to what society has set as a norm. So, until I can move further (be it location wise or financially) to access what I am pursuing, I try to work with what I can.

If taxidermy is your goal, I'd suggest vulturing, if you haven't started yet! Sell things on etsy, start a small career out of it, post photos... being closer to this hobby will really help you with reaching your goal.

I mentioned I've bailed on college twice. I applied to an Art Academy once, second time was Ecology. I found bigger success in freelancing from home without an education, and informing myself and others on our ecological system from home, which for me branches into other spheres from the subject, but I don't want to derail. Point is, I am much more calmer, focused, motivated than I was when in school. Sure, sometimes (unfortunately) you don't get taken very seriously, even if you are better at what you do, compared to someone with a degree. But there are people who see your potential, so start seeing it yourself!

Speaking of licenses I have a feeling I'll fail my drivers, but this is a first, there's a second time, and if need be, a third. I will get it, and you will get yours. You are 18, I am sure you will get there.

I have so much to say but a lot of it is private examples from friends who are like me and you (relatively speaking, of course), but this is already a mess and already streteched enough. But as my signature states, feel free to message me if you need to talk more on it. <3

Last edited on Feb 23, 2019 04:28:51 by Saturnia

Do you know how many times the greats failed before they made it? Thousands I’m sure. What makes them great is the ability to get back up and try again.
I’m not saying your failing anything, but if it takes you longer then some to achieve your dream then that’s alright. It might be discouraging seeing your friends get ahead and such but one day you’ll get there. Good things come to those who wait. If you study and work hard you’ll be able to graduate. Hard work and determination is all one needs to get anywhere.

Eurydise

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February 23, 2019 06:07:07

Do you know how many times the greats failed before they made it? Thousands I’m sure. What makes them great is the ability to get back up and try again.
I’m not saying your failing anything, but if it takes you longer then some to achieve your dream then that’s alright. It might be discouraging seeing your friends get ahead and such but one day you’ll get there. Good things come to those who wait. If you study and work hard you’ll be able to graduate. Hard work and determination is all one needs to get anywhere.

~The pen possesses me, and words spill onto pages~