General Discussion

Dear Friends,

A few days ago, someone I knew from my childhood took her own life. She was a well-loved individual who was kind and generous and hard-working. She had so much to look forward in life. She was in school for physiotherapy and was a very active part of her community. Her last moments in her life were by herself. Alone. In her room. She had been struggling for the past year or so with physical and mental health issues including depression. her friend group and I have never seen her without a smile on. We should have, but never saw this coming.

Parts of me wish I had paid closer attention to her messages, to read between the lines. But she lived in another city hours away and while we kept in touch using text messages. Thoughts and prayers were not enough to save her.

Thank you for reading this, FR friends.

Please seek help if you struggling with suicidal thoughts or are thinking of ending your life. There are people out there who care.

@Sorrendragon I'm so sorry to hear that... I nearly lost my grandmother recently, she collapsed and something went awry with her heart, she got a pacemaker in, she's on the road to recovery, but she's not quite out of the woods, yet. Hope you're coping okay, I have a friend myself who's struggling with mental health, at least she's getting help. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Hope you're okay. :)

I’m so sorry for your loss, that must be an awful thing to go through.

Thank you for the support, everyone.

I hope your grandmother will get better soon, @silverlia. I'm glad your friend is getting help.

@Galaxiana thank you for your kind words. It's an awful feeling. I can't imagine what her parents and sister are going through right now.

@phelsuma thank you for your words, friend. I know it is not my fault directly. I just can't help thinking that I or the others could have done something to prevent it. Death is permanent and I can't believe that I can no longer just call her up and say "hey how's it going? Long time no chat" like we always do. And you are right, she is in a better place now. Hopefully she finds everything in that life that she couldn't find in this one.

@Sorrendragon
I'm so, so sorry. I've lost a very close friend before to sickness, but it's must be unfathomably devastating to have one take their own life. Struggling with issues of feeling worthless myself and having friends that feel the same, I know it can be the hardest thing to see the signs of one suffering. None of it could possibly be your fault, and you probably made her life a lot better than you know.
Just know that it'll get better, and no matter how far she seems, you'll always have those loving memories.

I know you don't know me, and this might just be pushy or uncomfortable, but of your feeling down feel free to shoot me a PM to chat or rant or whatever. I hope you're doing ok.

Oh no... that sounds absolutely horrible for your emotions. You must be heartbroken. I understand the feeling of losing someone important. His name was Griffin, and he was my family's four-legged fluff-buddy. Cancer took his life and it was very sad because he was acting very distressed.

I'm horribly sorry for your loss and hope you feel better soon. I understand that feeling of not being able to hear them ever again. I miss my beautiful fluff-bud's bark and wish I could hear it one last time, but not via video.


I send my love to you and your friend's family.

I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I can't imagine the toll you've taken because of this, but it's too late to change what happened, so don't blame yourself for this. It can be hard to tell when someone is going through a mental struggle, we can only hope they make it through. She's moved to a better place now, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel terrible for a choice she made. I wish you the best of luck in managing to move forward after such a terrible event.

I'm so, so sorry. [quote name="CrystalFall" date="2018-10-23 13:58:09" ] [b]don't blame yourself for this[/b] [/quote] I want to emphasize this, because once you start, it can be very hard to stop. I lost someone I considered a sibling because they took their own life, and once my grief rationalized that I could have/should have stopped them one way or another, it never let go. Even though I logically know there is nothing I could have done, I still feel like I should have done more in a situation I didn't even know existed until it was too late.

I'm at the age where people around me are getting old and start to pass on, but I never thought it would one of my physically (while not mentally) healthy younger friends. @icedragonpie Thank you for sharing your story about your friend. I'm sorry to hear that happened to them. It's hard to lose someone you knew from your childhood. I may take up your offer with the PM at some point. Her memorial service is coming up on Monday. I just need some time to process and grieve with the people who knew her for the brilliant and gentle person she was. Thank you very much for your reply. @yeehawbuckaroo pets are the most innocent things, aren't they? They never deserve death because they live just for the desire to stay with you a little longer. I'm sorry about your fluff-ball. Was the passing recent? He sounded like a wonderful family member. While he might not have a place on Earth anymore, always have one in your heart. @CrystalFall [quote] I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel terrible for a choice she made[/quote] That's what I keep telling myself. I know it was her choice. It recently came to my knowledge that she was taking antidepressants, which can actually cause suicidal ideation as a side effect. She was seeing a psychiatrist too. Somebody should have noticed something. @brenning I'm sorry to hear about your sibling. Grief makes us feel like we could have done more than we did. Or that we should have seen the signs. I should have, but didn't seen the signs. My friend's last few messages were long and tedious, and I admit that I did not take the time to read through them carefully and discern the underlying problem. Now I have so many regrets. Hindsight is a wonderful but cruel thing to have. Thank you, friend, for your kind words. Stay strong and keep your chin up

Everyone is so kind in FR. Thank you for lending me some support