Oranitha wrote on 2017-10-08:
@/Shadria
"Creamy dried beef mold" is hands down the worst four-word phrase I've ever encountered.
I'd change the thread title to that, but I'm afraid the admins would lock it.
Worse than Ham and Bananas Hollandaise?
Or "Look out! ...Too late."?
The thing is, "Creamy dried beef mold" has
layers to it.
You start out on the "creamy," which already throws you into a world of extremes. I'm on the edge of my seat with the word "creamy." Like, sign me up for that creamy home-made ice cream, but creamy dog vomit? That's our duality here. We're one word in and we're already splitting the flavor universe.
Then you hit on "dried" and all sense cartwheels right out the window. Total sense-defenestration on word two, that's the power we're dealing with. I mean, creamy
and dried? That's not a contrast anyone was expecting. So you're confused, and you have this mounting sense of dread. How can it be dried
and creamy? What sort of dark powers are we tampering with? What are we about to unleash?
Then while you're still pondering how far the universe has tilted from its axis, it slams you with "beef." Beef! Where the hell does that even
fit? "Creamy beef" sounds vaguely sexual. "Dried beef" sounds like what they call beef jerky that they can't call beef jerky. I'm talking Death Valley desiccated cow carcass, I'm talking vultures hopping around like "nah man, I ain't touching that." We're not just one or the other, y'all. We've crossed those streams. We're unifying what ought not be unified, and we'll pay God's own price for it.
Then we hit the final word. Mold.
What am I supposed to do with that? We hit mold and there's no going back. Are we leaving out our creamy dried beef until something starts growing on it? We're gonna have a Kardashev Type 2 of various fungal nopes sending flavor rockets right up our noses, we're gonna have Guy Fieri on speed dial projectile vomiting into another dimension, or we're mixing in gelatin
again, and honestly I don't even know what's worse. But we're in the world of creamy dried beef mold now, we've passed the point of no return, we're serving up things that the nuclear age tried to bury but, like eighteen tons of plutonium waste, I'm pretty sure the creamy dried beef mold never really went away, and it's giving me three types of cancer just
reading the words.
Keep your "
Ham and Banana Hollandaise," friend. I've seen the face of God, and it is weeping.