Creative Corner

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Okay now all that's left for me to do is get my dragon pictures made. This might take a little while.

[center]------ [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_2759178]Main[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803924]Summery[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803925]Table of Contents[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803926]Dragon Cast[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803928]Spoilers[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803929]Important Notes![/url] [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803936]Ping List[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803937]Other Forums[/url] ------[/center] [center][size=6]Prologue: Your World. My World[/size][/center] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img] [nextcol]Many years ago on a plant ruled by Monarchs, Navy, and Pirates there lived a man who set out to sea. His dream? To do the one thing no other man even dared to consider attempting. This man’s dream was to be the first person to prove the legend of The Grand Cross to be true and legend has it that he succeeded but nobody knows if it is fact or fiction.[/columns] What is The Grand Cross, you ask? I’ll get to that shortly, but first I must give you some other information. This planet is unlike any you will ever encounter. okay I shouldn’t say “unlike”, it is similar to yours in some ways, but when it come to the layout of the land and a few other things it is unlike any you will ever see. Let me explain. It’s located in a universe parallel to yours, think of it as a second Earth. Our galaxy is very similar to yours. It’s solar system is basically the exact same, however Pluto is still considered a planet and will remain a planet for the rest of time. Eh, sorry that wasn't relevant, bad habit... hehe.... Even it’s stars and constellations are mostly the same…. Hey now! Calm down! I understand, you’re curious about what’s so special… well… [i]different[/i] about my world compared to your world…. Well to start with, our science is a bit different. Sure we have the same basic science of male and female, plants breathe in carbon dioxide while animals, as well as humans, breathe in oxygen, while they breathe out the opposite. But other than that we have some of the same chemicals as well as some different and like your chemicals if you mix the wrong ones it could end in a disaster. While our sciences aren’t really important right now it kind of applies to what I am about to tell you. Unlike your Earth, we’ll call it Earth one, my Earth, or Earth two is divided into four oceans by two crossing seas…. Okay yes that makes six ocean and not four… but to be honest, there might really be seven! But that mystery one isn’t important right now, it is a legend in of itself. Now where was I? ...Oh yes! There is The Northern Ocean, The Eastern Ocean, The Western Ocean, and… that’s right, you guessed it… The Southern Ocean. The two oceans dividing them into four separate ocean are known by one name. And that name is The Grand Cross. As you can probably guess, one of these two Oceans run from the South Pole to the North Pole creating a south to north curant or vise versa depending on which side of the Earth you are on. The second one runs along the equator creating a west to east currant, again, depending on the side of the planet you’re on. Because these two oceans cross each other with their own unique currents there are two enormous whirlpools on either side of the planet making it almost impossible to pass between oceans. Well I guess you could attempt to go around them but you wouldn’t get to far. Along the edges of The Grand Cross are what we call Still Streams, a section of ocean with no wind or currents. To you this may sound strange but even stranger is the fact that on one day out of the month every month these “streams” disappear for an hour making it possible to cross into The Grand Cross. Hmm? That legend I spoke of earlier? I’ll tell you. People say that if one were to enter into one whirlpool they could pass to the other side of the Earth with no harm to them nor their ship. But this Pirate’s story isn’t the story you’re here for, so let’s head over to the tale you really want to hear, about another young man, who will one day be inspired by this pirate, and see what he is up to right now.

[center] ------ [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_2759178]Main[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803924]Summery[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803925]Table of Contents[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803926]Dragon Cast[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803928]Spoilers[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803929]Important Notes![/url] [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803936]Ping List[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803937]Other Forums[/url] ------[/center] [center][size=6][b]Chapter 1: The Boy and the Barrels[/b][/size][/center] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Mother! Mother!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol] A young boy hollered as he pulled and shoved, thrashing about as he tried to break free. It was getting late and the sun had already almost disappeared behind a small store. Two men had a hold of him, walking as quickly as they could without anyone getting suspicious. The boy was four years old. He had somewhat shaggy, spiky hair and wore jeans and a t-shirt.[/columns] The streets were rather crowded for a weekday, as nobody was at work. Everyone bumped into each other as they walked, their shoes kicking up and scuffing the red dirt. The small town was filled with loud chatter as men and women did their shopping. The sixtieth annual fireworks festival was the next day and everyone was bustling to finish their preparations, to busy to notice the distressed cries for help of a young child. Every street, every house, and every store was heavily decorated for the event. Balloons of various colors were tied to every fence, sign, and pole. Some were even tied to bricks along the streets. The mayor's house had a banner stretched from one end of the roof to the other reading, Sixtieth Annual Fireworks Festival, in bold letters colored like a rainbow. Confetti was glued to the border of the banner and glitter outlined each letter causing them to sparkle radiantly during the day. The mayor was well known for her habit of out doing herself with the decorations every holiday. The boy could see his mother shoving her way through the crowd. She was looking for him, frantically. She was so far away, he could scarcely hear her holler, "Shiro! Shiro, where are you?" [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Mother!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]he hollered again hoping she would be able to determine his location with each word that escaped his lips. She turned in the direction of his voice, finally spotting the child, but it was too late. The men dragged him down the dark street and his mother faded from his vision.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]I jumped out of my sleep, covered in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. “Just a dream,” I panted. Still somewhat incoherent from exhaustion, I looked around at my surroundings. I was in a small boat in the middle of the ocean. The sun shun radiantly, making the gentle waves on the water glisten like billions of little diamonds. The soft breeze of salty air dried the cold sweat from my body. Birds chirped as they flew overhead, casting elegant shadows on the rippling water.[/columns] “Hmm?” I said when something moved in my peripheral vision. I spotted two barrels floating near my small sailboat. My curiosity took over and I reached into the water to pull them into the boat. But when I went to open the larger of the two barrels, I fell backwards in surprise for the lid of the barrel was thrown off and landed in the water near the boat. The next thing I knew, a girl was standing in front of me, in the barrel. [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]This strange girl is Ushio, a very talented archer and chemist. Her hair was cut to the nape of her neck at the back, but longer hair hung down at the front and a few strands fell down just past her eyes. It was dark purple with two strips of orange on the right side. She wore an army green leather jacket with a zipper and hood, as well as pants, and gloves with two fingers cut off, all of which brought out her carmel eyes. Though one could only see a little of it, the green shirt under her, mostly zipped up, jacket, was also leather.[/columns] Shiro, however, was about an inch shorter than her. He was thin and did not look very tough. He wore a red sleeveless shirt under a black jean jacket and blue jeans. He had a strip of off-white fabric tied around his waist like a belt. His messy black and red hair went down just past his maroon eyes. [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]The girl looked down at me, an expression of surprise on her face.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Oh, sorry to bother you, but would you mind taking me home?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"WHAAAT?!” I hollered in disbelief, as she opened the smaller barrel. “You can’t just pop out of a barrel on a stranger’s ship and ask them to take you home!” She reached into the barrel to take something out of it.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“You’re right! I’m sorry! I’m Ushio. What’s your name?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]I could tell where this was going. I began to get rather irritated but reluctantly answered anyway, “S-shiro.” Standing up, she threw a bag of arrows onto her back. She turned back to me. Placing her hands on her hips and an ‘as a matter of fact’ expression on her face, she replied,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“There, now we’re not strangers.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She looked around the sailboat and added after a moment of silence,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“…..You call this a ship?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!” I yelled, my teeth sharpened, like a jagged knife.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“So will you take me home?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She repeated. Curious, I pointed to the barrels and asked, “Why were you floating around in a barrel?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Hmm? Oh… long story. I was trying to get some information about something and stowed away on a pirate ship. But then I got caught and had to escape quickly,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She waved her hand, brushing off the subject like it was no big deal. “So you jumped in a barrel... that wasn’t a very long story.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“It’s longer than it sounds…. Anyway, could you take me home?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Fine. But only because you’re weird.” Irritation spread across her face and saturated her voice as veins popped out on her forehead,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"YOU’RE THE WEIRD ONE!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Hey! I’m not the one traveling by barrel in the middle of the ocean….”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“PULLING RANDOM BARRELS OUT OF THE WATER! WHAT IF IT WAS A BOMB!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"You know… I didn't think about that….” I said thoughtfully. “But if I didn't you might have been drifting for days and starved or floated into a whirlpool and died….. Where am I taking you anyway?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Turtle Cove Island,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She answered, her mood changing quickly. “You wouldn’t happen to have any navigating skills would you?” I asked, hopefully.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Are you telling me that you’re in the middle of the ocean but… YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO NAVIGATE!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]I looked at her, starting slowly but finishing in a hurry, “Yeaaah, pretty much.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]I stared wide eyed at him, lips slightly parted, I could not believe this guy. Finally, all I could do was sigh. I put an index finger to my forehead, closed my eyes and said, “Yes, but only a little and I have no idea where we’re at right now. Nor do I have a map and compass.” At that, he just grinned at me, with a smile that was almost contagious,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"I guess we’ll just float around until we see an island and get a map and compass from there.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]My annoyance with him began to grow a little more. “Did you plan anything out when you set sail?” He turned to pick up a bag stuffed full of something and held it open for me to see.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol] “I brought food.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]The contents of the bag consisted of various types of cooked meats, bread, cheese, and more. “Money?” I asked, getting more annoyed by the second.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“I spent it all before I left home.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“On what?” He grinned widely,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"This boat…. and food.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Are you kidding me?!” His grin widened even more, then his expression changed. He seemed a little more serious.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"You’re an archer?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]he asked as if he had just spotted my bow and arrows. I folded my arms and smiled, annoyance fading away, “Only the best Archer on the island of Turtle Cove! Destined to be the world's greatest Archer of all time!” His eyes turned to stars,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“So cool!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]I could feel my cheeks getting warm at his sudden admiration. “The greatest Archer in the world currently, is a Pirate known as Robin Hood,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]she continued absentmindedly.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Of course that is just an alyas. Nobody knows his real name or what he looks like. His current bounty, nine hundred million gems, and I am going to defeat him someday."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]They continued forward, marking the start of this grand adventure.[/columns]

Okay! Navigating is now much easier!

[center]------ [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_2759178]Main[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803924]Summery[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803925]Table of Contents[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803926]Dragon Cast[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803928]Spoilers[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803929]Important Notes![/url] [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803936]Ping List[/url] | [url=http://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2759178/1#post_40803937]Other Forums[/url] ------ [b][size=6]Chapter 2: A Fateful Encounter[/size][/b][/center] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]Two days upon meeting, the duo was sleeping soundly on Shiro's small dingy, when all of a sudden Ushio's eyes flew open. She sat up and examined the sky.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]Large clouds covered the night sky. They were so thick that they prohibited the moons from illuminating the darkness. I could smell a slight hint of rain, despite being surrounded by salt water. The cool night air washed over my face, blowing my hair behind me. I got up and shook Shiro's shoulders, "Shiro. Wake up." Shiro only slightly opened his maroon eyes for a second before complaining,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"What. It isn't even morning yet."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"There's a storm coming."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"S'okay go back to sleep,"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]he mumbled flicking a hand as if what I said wasn't important. After about thirty seconds he jumped up, eyes wide open as if he'd been up for hours,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"A storm!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]As soon as he said that, rain began to pour sown on us.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Why didn't you say something?!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]He asked, exasperated. "I JUST DID!" I yelled as lightning flashed. The calm waves turned violent and began to thrash out on our little boat, as the wind began to howl and holler.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Whatever, just help keep the bag of food from getting wet."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]I clenched my fists so tight it felt like my skin was going to rip around my knuckles and the tips of my fingers felt wet as my nails dug into my skin as my face got hot. "IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT?! WE'RE GOING TO CAPSIZE! BESIDES, WE DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"We don't?"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]he asked, dumbstruck. He picked up the empty bad, held it upside down and shook it.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Where'd it all go? This was full yesterday!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]The thunder began to crash. "YOU ATE IT ALL YESTERDAY!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]Events of yesterday...[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"AAAAAGH! SHIRO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]Ushio screamed when she turned around to find Shiro sitting cross legged and scarfing down the last of the meat.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"What?"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]Shiro asked through a full mouth.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"THAT BAG WAS FULL NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES AGO!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"I was hungry...."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"YOU MORON!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]She said punching him in the head.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"OUCH! USHIO THAT HURT!"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]Ushio sighed to herself,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"I turn around for two seconds and this is what happens. What did I do to deserve getting stuck on a boat with an idiot like you?"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]Okay let's get back to the present.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"Did I?"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"YES!" Just then his eyes widened as his mouth opened slightly. His bottom lip quivered and his body trembled. "What's the matter?" I asked, skeptically. He slowly raised an unsteady hand to point at something behind me.[/columns] He then said with a shaky voice, [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]"What's that giant spiny thing heading towards us?"[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]Slowly, I turned around to see what he was talking about, "What giant spi..."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]Eyes narrowing with confusion, Ushio slowly turned around to see what I was pointing at,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"What giant spi..."[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]The next thing I knew we were death hugging each other and screaming in terror as the giant cyclone headed for our tiny boat. I opened my eyes as I slowly sat up. My mind was hazy with exhaustion. I looked around, scratching the back of my head, to find myself on a vacated beach. Two seagulls were fighting over some satcherated food they found on the ground, near some driftwood.[/columns] Our boat was laying by a birch tree in the sand, upside down. Or what was left of it anyway. I saw Ushio laying face down in the sand. I got up and ran over to her. I placed my hands on her shoulder to shake her awake. “Ushio? Ushio, are you okay?” To my relief, her eyelids slowly opened. [columns][columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol] “Hmm…? W-where are we?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She asked, in her tired state. “Some island. Our boat is wrecked.” Right as I finished my sentence, she gasped,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“MY BOW AND ARROWS! WHERE ARE MY BOW AND ARROWS!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She pushed me down, out of her way, as she quickly stumbled to her feet. She ran over to the bag of arrows and bow laying in the sand, about twenty feet away. She hugged her possessions, with her cheek up against the bag. She said in a voice filled with relief, [/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Thank God you guys are safe!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]Her bow appeared to be made of a dark wood, a pattern of twisting vines carved into it. The bag matched her outfit, green leather. The same vines as the bow, wrapped around it, and spelled her name down the front. It had a piece on it that held her bow when she wasn't using it. “Yup. I was right... you're weird,” I replied, not able to find a better response.[/columns] She turned quickly towards me with narrowed eyes. Her face turning red under her tan skin, [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“THIS BOW WAS A GIFT FROM MY LATE FATHER FOR MY FOURTH BIRTHDAY!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She was now no more than three inches from my face.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO IT SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET HURT!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]she added as she cracked her knuckles. Feeling bad for her, I replied, “Sorry, I had no idea. You don't have to yell so much.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]Just then his stomach growled,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Hmmmm man, I’m hungry.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Then maybe you shouldn't have eaten all the food the other day,” I said with my arms folded across my chest, glaring at him.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Come on, let's go find somewhere to eat.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“We don't have any money!” I answered. Ignoring me, he turned and ran for a stone path through some trees. “SHIRO!” I yelled after him, but he was already gone. I sighed, “Why did I have to end up on a boat with this idiot?” I stood up, brushed off as much sand as I could with my now almost dry clothes, and followed Shiro.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]The first thing you could see when you entered the town hiding behind the small, yet dense forest, was… “So many restaurants! Which one should we go to, Ushio?” When she didn’t respond I turned around to look behind me. She wasn’t there. “Ushio. Where’d you go?” I continued to look, when, finally, she came out from behind one of the trees. “There you are,” I said in relief.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“There I am? DON’T RUN OFF LIKE THAT! YOU’RE MY TICKET HOME!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]she said.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]Shiro looked at me, stars in his eyes, and asked,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Anyway, which restaurant should we go to?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“We don’t have money,” I said with a dull voice as I looked around the town. There wasn’t too many people on the streets. This street in particular was filled with restaurants and a bar or two. Continuing to ignore me, Shiro pointed to a restaurant.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Let’s go to that one!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]he demanded excitedly, then took off running towards said restaurant. [i]I swear he just picked a random restaurant and ran blindly towards food that we can't even afford[/i], I thought following him.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“It smells amazing in here!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]he exclaimed upon entering the restaurant.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]The inside of the restaurant was spacious. It had about fifty round tables with four chairs around each of them. The floor was covered in an elegant scarlet carpet. The walls were tan with brown borders. Six chandeliers hung from the ceiling, each lit with white candles. There was a fireplace at the far end of the room. Just then, out of nowhere, something hit me hard on the top of my head, causing me to fall to my knees. I looked up to see Ushio standing above me with her hand in a fist.[/columns] "What was that for?” I asked her, rubbing where she had punched me. [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[nextcol]“How many times do I have to tell you that we don't have any money?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Can we at least sit in here a while? It's windy outside and my clothes are still wet from the storm.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Fine, but then we go map and compass hunting.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Okay.” We chose a table near the fireplace. Moments after we sat down, a waitress walked up to us.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/xjy2G2RS/image.png[/img][nextcol]“May I take your order?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img] [nextcol]After asking us the typical question, Ushio responded,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“No thank you.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]As she began to explain our situation, a man walked by,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]"We’re just here to dry off a little before going to get a map.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“But, Ushio, I'm hungry!” I complained, and as if on cue the man, that had just walked past us, stopped.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“We don't have any money,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]She repeated, glaring at me. The man then turned back around and began walking in our direction. “Ushi-” I started to say, but then the man laid a small money bag on our table. Ushio and I both looking up at the man.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hv89N39d/image.png[/img][nextcol]He had auburn hair that went down to his dark green eyes. A few strands stuck up here and there. He was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. Four swords were hanging from his left side.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/90ZZWVvb/image.png[/img][nextcol]“You travelers to?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]The man asked.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Y-yes,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]Ushio replied.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/90ZZWVvb/image.png[/img][nextcol]“Then take this and get yourselves something to eat,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]he said, then turned and walked away. I stood up and called after the man, “Thanks, Mister!” He stopped and turned back to me,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/90ZZWVvb/image.png[/img][nextcol]“Don’t mention it.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]He then turned and left the restaurant. “I like that guy,”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]Shiro said as he sat back down. More annoyed with this kid than ever, I said, “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE GUY!”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“But he just gave us money for food. So he can’t be a bad guy.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]It didn’t take long after that for our small table to be filled with food. “How much food can you eat?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/xjy2G2RS/image.png[/img][nextcol]“C-can I get you anything else?”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]asked the Waitress, her eyes widening as she watched Shiro shovel down his food, empty plates already beginning to pile up.[/columns] Shiro began to reply with a mouth full of food,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Yes ple-”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” I interrupted in a hurry. After swallowing his food, he held up the bag of money. While taking another bite of meat, he said,[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“But we still have all this money left.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“Yes, and it should be spent on a new boat and food for the trip! Or did you forget that our boat was wrecked in the storm last night?” I said.[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/R0RFKLCR/Shiro.png[/img][nextcol]“Oh yeah! ...I forgot.”[/columns] [columns][img]https://i.postimg.cc/Bn2tQGdR/Ushio.png[/img][nextcol]“HOW?”[/columns]

[center]I found the perfect dragon for the Narrator! Meet Alexandria! [img]https://i.postimg.cc/66S2pQr0/Alexandia.png[/img] Tomorrow I will be working on the adding the dragons to chapter 4 (well today seeing as to how it's 1:37am... Well I'm going to bed... Good night (or morning) all![/center]

@SanjiDrageon

Chapter 1 complete (though it feels more like an epilogue than a chapter). I feel like I sound very judgemental in this review; I did not mean to be, so I hope you will understand. Otherwise, here is some mean old constructive criticism. :D

***Title Error: Your World. My World.

***First paragraph is disconnected from the following paragraphs in that the first talks about a man (very specific and micro) then goes to describe the universe (which is very broad and very macro in terms of storytelling). Should keep like-topic paragraphs with other similar paragraphs. Suggestion: Man + dream--?World-building--?Real Main Character

***What is the personality of the narrator? A smart-Alec? Funny? Pompous? Witty? Does she have a drawling voice or light spunky one? Does she engage with the audience as if to draw their attention to a certain thing that’s happening or just tell what’s happening overall?

***Example: A dream is a destination to head for, a task to achieve, a goal to reach; ‘tis what every man hopes for. I have one and so do you…hopefully…I mean, I hope your dream is more than just sitting here, reading my captions…You do? Oh… (Gasps) I didn’t mean that! Please stay! Please read my story...Wait, you will? Awesome! (Sighs with relief) Now where were we? Oh, yes! “A dream is a destination to head for, a task to achieve, a goal to reach”. Out of all the men with dreams, one man had a dream, bigger and grander than all of the others. He will go where no man has gone before, to do something no other man has done before, and receive a title unique even to the select few who achieved the same status rank: His dream is to be the first person to prove that the legendary Grand Cross really exists.

What!? You’ve never heard of it? Oooooh, you’re not from around here, are you? Well, allow me to enlighten you on the mystical world of ___________.

~~~Please note the personality of the narrator and how the intro transitioned from one topic (the man’s dream which is specific) to the next (world-building which is very broad) without any breaks in character or breaks in flow. Also realized that your world doesn’t have a name, so probably should make one (unless it’s Earth in which case that’s confusing. Is it mine or yours?).~~~

*** This planet is unlike any you will ever encounter. Contradictory. According to the rest of this paragraph, it is very similar to the Earth I live on from the biology of the plants and animals to the solar system. Note: Either commit to it as no one has the right to tell you what you’re allowed to write in your book or completely remove it. Readers don’t care if other readers find something offensive nor do they care about your own opinions; literally the only reason they are here is to read your story and formulate their own opinions about whether they feel offended or not. Commit or desist.

*** Well to start with, our science is a bit different.Contradictory. The only science stuff you mentioned are stuff that us Earth-folk know and understand. Then proceed to say that “While our sciences aren't really important right now it kind of applies to what I am about to tell you.” which is a contradiction within a contradiction. I’d say the science is pretty important, agree? Also the bit about Pluto seems unnecessary as what’s done is done, unless its purpose is to show the narrator’s personality (in which case, it’s pretty petty in my opinion as, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that important as compared to say the bubonic plague reemerging after decades of dormancy).
Suggestion: Describe the stuff that is similar to my world in short curt sentences. Examples: The plants use photosynthesis just like yours, carbon dioxide in, oxygen out. The animals, O2 in, CO2 out. Iron still rusts, wood still burns, water still has three states of matter.

***Keep the similarities and differences in separate paragraphs for clarity and will also give the impact of why the narrator’s world is different…No, more special than our world.

***I get that you are going for the “seven seas”, but the oceans confuse me. I assume the Earth is not flat, so tell me if this is correct. (Please forgive my horrible Microsoft paint skills). Having a picture will help enormously. The paragraph can stand to flow just a bit better.

Edit: for some reason my pic is not showing up. I'll work on that...Probably not though

***But this Pirate's story isn't the story you're here for Then why bring him up? Will his dream influence the main character’s dream? If so, clarify how and why.

@Wylla

--lol (on my google do it is an epilogue) I know a lot of people tend to skip the epilogue so I labeled it chapter one when posting it here so I know people will actually read it... Although I'm starting to get the feeling that people will so I'm definitely going to flip it back. I actuall wrote it long after I wrote chapter one which was the origanel reason I titled it as an epilogue.

-- oops thanks for pointing out the title typo (I typed it out on an iPad while looking at the Google doc on my phone.

--no need to feel judgemental! That's what I was expecting! And I appreciate all the information you gave me! I'm definitely going to take all of it into account when writing the finel draft (which I'm going to work on now)! This is the exact kind of help I've been looking for! TThank you so much!