Chapter 133: Ringmaster
Lorcan too a deep breath as he approached Kaladin's caravan. The ringmaster of the circus was a bit intimidating at the best of times, but he had become even more so after raising the undead army and partnering with Quartz and Banella. His tone had become sharper, and his patience had dwindled. He had become more and more reclusive, allowing Magiere to take on more and more of his leadership duties.
Of course, everyone's workload had increased. After Quartz's Conquest was announced, the circus dragons had joined Lin as mentors and teachers of adapting one's innate abilities for battle, so now in addition to training, Lorcan and the rest of the circus were tasked with training the other residents of Windkeep Tower. It was during one of these teaching sessions that he had noticed Kaladin sneaking past. He had looked absolutely ghastly. His face was gaunt and he had dark circles under his eyes. The spark of charisma was gone, it was as if he was seeing an empty husk of the dragon who had once been his leader. For all his flaws, Kaladin made the circus what it was, and Lorcan had no idea where he would be without him.
Which was why it was his duty as a caring member of the circus troupe to check on his ringmaster, just to make sure he was still alive, maybe give him some tea, nothing big. Just tea. Or at least, that's what Lorcan tried to reassure himself as he knocked on the door and stepped back. He couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea after all.
Just as Lorcan lost his nerve and turned to go, the door swung open, and Kaladin stood in the doorway. Lorcan's eyes widened; the ringmaster looked so much worse up close. If he hadn't known Kaladin so well, he would have sworn he was a fresh undead.
Kaladin stared at Lorcan for a moment before he spoke. "Lorcan? I assume you have something you want to talk about. Come in. Please don't mind the mess, I haven't exactly had the time to clean up lately."
Lorcan took a step inside and Kaladin shut the door. It was only as his eyes adjusted to the dark light that Lorcan could see just what Kaladin meant by mess. The usually tidy pearlcatcher had left his quarters an absolute disaster. Bones and broken vials littered the floor, papers and dirty dishes covered every surface. In the corner, his pearl lay surrounded by crumpled paper, clearly not properly polished or tended to in a while. The only thing that was relatively untouched was the rose he had set aside in a glass case, kept alive in honor of his lost love, but even that looked like it was beginning to wither.
"Now, if you've finished staring-?" Kaladin said, clearly irritated. "I have work to do, just spit it out and tell me."
"Sorry." Lorcan said, lowing his head in embarrassment. "I just wanted to ask, I hope it's not to forward, but- Are you okay, Kaladin, sir? We're all worried about you, down at the circus. You don't seem yourself."
"Oh, all of you are worried, are you?" Kaladin growled, seeing through Lorcan's lie.
"Well, I haven't exactly spoken to the others, but I'm worried about you." Lorcan corrected.
"It's not your place to worry." Kaladin snapped. "It's your job to do your job, and it's my job to do mine."
"With all due respect, I can't actually believe you want to hand over this much power to Magiere. She's awful. She's destorying all of your hard work to build this place!" Lorcan protested.
"Times change. Once, the circus was my pride and joy, now our wonderful king and queen have demanded I move on to other pursuits." Kaladin growled, though not at Lorcan this time. "I tried telling them that increasing the number of undead was a risky business and that it would take time and effort and probably some help, if I could just train another necromancer, maybe we could build the army they desire, but no, it's full steam ahead Kaladin! There's no time to waste Kaladin! We don't care if we drain your life force completely, just give us what we want Kaladin!"
Lorcan didn't know what to say, but for the first time, he truly felt for the pearlcatcher.
"I just want to live in peace, but there is no rest for the wicked, eh?" Kaladin said, calming down a little and flashing him a smirk. "And that goes for you too. It's time you learn we don't have control of your circumstances, you just have to hold on to what you love and hope it makes it through to the other side."
"And what do you love?" Lorcan pressed.
"Love is something that is long since gone for me, but it is not too late for you." Kaladin said, looking into Lorcan's eyes with an intensity that almost scared the wildclaw. "You have your wife, you have your children, you have your friends. Hold onto them and don't let go. Make sure they get through this war, no matter the cost. There is nothing that costs more than their lives."
After his outburst, the pearlcatcher drooped, panting. "You should go now. I need to recharge a bit, and it is not pleasant business."
Lorcan nodded, wishing there was something more he could do to help Kaladin. "You know, I don't think love is lost for you." Lorcan said. "There's still hope, there's always hope."
"That's nice, kid. I wish I had your optimism." Kaladin said with a small smile. "Now go fight the good fight. I hope you make it through, you have always been such a good performer, it would be a pity to lose you."
Kaladin watched as the wildclaw left the caravan, gently shutting the door. Kaladin sighed and turned to the rose.
"I don't even have enough energy to keep you alive, my rose." He said, closing his eyes and lowering his head. His whiskers drooped on the floor. "I wish, more than anything, that you were still here. But I think that if you were to see me now, you would be scared of what I have become. I'm sorry my rose, I've let you down. I keep letting you down."
With a sigh, he turned away, unable to face the monument to his dead love anymore, and sauntered over to his pearl. He curled around it and fell asleep, wondering if this time the darkness would take him for good. He doubted he would be so lucky.
@CleverDual @Alwaid @zzzhorses @Amezrou @ScrivenerRook @Kizzan @clarax @lilastar @tigressRising @Disillusionist @Aetherstorm @rainphee @FallenEclipse @Tirtouga678 @catmeow1 @ShinyDecidueye @AlchemyFox
This turned out to be a bit of a darker chapter than I expected, but I wanted to give a snapshot with how Kaladin is doing with all this. Plus, it's fun to bring Lorcan in again, and to show what the ringmaster/troupe dynamic is like. The circus dragons may not like him all the time, but they definitely respect him.
