-1-
All she had to do was kill it, right?
Her prey—a small Bluetit—floated mid-flight, trapped in a coil of infinite darkness able to turn an unwilling dragon mad. Terror shone in its beady black eyes. It didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to kill it.
It wasn’t fair to ask a ten-year-old to kill.
Stonegaze watched as it struggled in her grasp of black smoke, unable to decide. She knew she should snap its neck, get it over with, but how could she? It was too cute, its small squeaks enough to get her to loosen her hold. It almost flew away, and she almost let it. But if she went back with nothing…
Staying as calm as she could, she reached up. The feathers were soft beneath her touch, much like her wings. She stroked its head until it quietened down. It seemed to enjoy it, going so far as to peck her finger if she stopped. For a moment, she was a girl enjoying her time with a bird.
Kill it, the voice in her head growled, interrupting her thoughts.
Kill it, revel
in the snap of its neck.
“Shut up, Alec,” Stonegaze mumbled sadly. “It’s cute.”
Kill it, kid.
“Stop!”
He appeared beside her. He towered over her; a cloud of black smoke ready to consume her. She jumped, her magic disappearing. The Bluetit took that as an opportunity to fly. It escaped herflimsy grasps, flitting back home to its mother. Good, she thought.
Idiot child, Alec chided. She couldn’t tell what kind of dragon he was, but she knew he was a dangerous one. Maybe a Mirror, but much bigger. A mutant Mirror!
“I’m not an idiot!” Stonegaze cried and stamped her foot. “It didn’t deserve to die,
Alec!”
It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Stonegaze.
“I don’t care.”
He hunkered down before her, his lips pulled into a snarl.
You should.
Alec, a softer voice piped up, another male appearing to her left,
leave her be. She’s only ten.
Casper was her favourite out of her two Shadows. He was the younger twin to Alec, and the kinder one at that. He seemed to understand her more than his monster brother ever could begin to.
Alec stood up and growled at his brother. He didn’t flinch.
You were an idiot like her, once, Casper reminded him.
You can’t chastise her for not wanting to kill the bird, and in her defence, it was kinda cute.
As if you’d know how to kill a fly, Alec snarled.
If I remember correctly, Casper
, you barely lasted more than a few years.
Casper rolled his eyes.
At least I didn’t become a monster like you.
It would’ve been a more honourable fate for our family if you had.
The younger twin started and turned his back to his brother. He’d died in a Trial at sixteen years of age. Run through on a sword and left to die by Alec, according to him. Dead almost instantly, his brother got his wish and won the open spot in the army. He’d tell her;
All for being in the army, he killed his only family. Pathetic.
Karma bit him not longer after, killing him on the morning of his 17th birthday. Foul play from an insider for the Torches. The opposite side to them, and yet they had more supporters, even in the Shade’s army itself.
Now it was her turn to partake in this trial, just a few years from now. She didn’t want to kill anyone.
Stonegaze turned away from the mess that was the twins and headed straight for a stream near her spot. It was her favourite place. The fish would tickle her feet, the birds would sing songs to her, the water would lap away her sorrows. It was the peace in a world full of murder.
A presence loitered behind her on her walk, and she knew it was Casper. Alec must’ve disappeared. The younger twin would never walk away from continuing a verbal battle with his brother. Not willingly, at least.
I think you made the right decision, Casper told her, coming up to her side as she trudged on.
It can live happily now.
“Alec hates me, doesn’t he?” Stonegaze asked him. Her voice was colder than she expected. It wasn’t uncommon for the older twin to express his distaste in her personality, so the only reason she asked was to make sure, she supposed.
He hesitated, and his usual response came.
I wouldn’t say he hates you, I—
She sniffled and stuffed her paws into her bag for warmth, even though it wasn’t cold. “Is he going to tell everyone that I couldn’t kill the birdie?”
I’ll make sure he won’t, poppet. Don’t worry about that.
“Will he hurt me again?”
The last time that Stonegaze messed up with a practice kill, she’d been starved. It’d been a baby deer. Every time Alec scowled at her, the pressure grew. Even Casper couldn’t have comforted her when she burst into tears, scaring the deer away into the woods beyond. That was when he hurt her, locking her up so that she’d learn her lesson. His younger brother could only watch and comfort her. No food ever came that week.
They talked about it afterwards, and Casper agreed that this was all too much to ask of someone so young. Having died at 16, his life wasted away at the paws of his brother, of course he’d feel like that; feel the injustice the world offered him, unlike Alec. He never got to love, never even got to adulthood. It was why he was softer on her, loving her when no one else did.
Casper let a growl slip. It was rare for him to be angry, and yet it he never aimed it at her.
No, and I’ll make sure of that, too.
They walked in silence for a while. Stonegaze fiddled with the stones around her knuckles, feeling their smoothness beneath the pads of her digits. Raw fire opals. They glistened in the late morning sun, their oranges and reds and yellows dancing on the inside of its smooth, glassy cover. Everyone was given different Opals to represent their families. Her family, being Noble Shade, had one of the prettiest jewels and the hardest reputation to keep.
She’d watched someone die, once. A public execution fit for a traitor to her household. She hadn’t met their standards, the Priest would cry from his stand, waving his hand at her in disgust. Her name had been Ilya, and when Stonegaze was eight, she witnessed her die before their village. Slowly. A stab to the stomach with a rusted blade and tied down to the stage. That was what would become of her if she failed the Trial.
If she didn’t die in it first.
You’re worrying again, Casper cooed, making her jump. She’d forgotten he was there.
“I’m fine,” she lied.
He knew.
You’re not, poppet. You’re worrying.
“Stop reading my mind, then, and you won’t know.”
I didn’t. You’re biting your nails again.
She forced herself to lower her paws. It was a sign of weakness to bite your nails.
Were you thinking about the future, by any chance?
“I’m scared that I’ll let my family down,” she muttered, turning sharply on her heel to go the long way to the lake. “That I’ll let you down.”
You won’t.
“But I have to kill! I don’t want to kill.”
You won’t have to, Stone, Casper reassured her.
When I can, I’m going to get you out of here.
He looked up at her favourite Shadow, lip wobbling. She tried to be strong, but it was harder than she thought. She wasn’t like Casper. “I don’t want to die.”
Slowly, he crouched down before her and held her face in his wispy black paws. He wasn’t physical, not entirely, but the ghost-like touch that lingered on her cheeks comforted her.
I won’t let that happen, he told her, flicking away a tear that rolled down her cheek. He smiled at her, his teeth a flash of white in a cloud of black.
She smiled back, though shakily. She loved Casper more than her own family, as he and his brother practically raised her, but his plan seemed more like a dream waiting to happen than a reality. Still, she was hopeful. After all, what was life without hope?
He stood up after ruffling her hair, already twisted from the wind and the bird, and walked towards the lake.
Come on, let’s have a race. Whoever gets there first gets to feed Splodge!
Stonegaze squealed and raced ahead of him. He ran to catch up, his laughter rolling through her mind. Her worried disappeared, the future no longer on her mind. She couldn’t wait to go see him.
Splodge was a fish that’d taken a particular liking to her a year ago. Crying and afraid of Alec’s raging and Casper’s calculations, she went to the lake to escape it all. That day, a small orange and white fish poked its head above the water. It blubbed at her. It made her giggle. Since then, she’d named him ‘Splodge’ for his patterns looked like paint splodges on a canvas. She came up to feed him every week, making him special food with or without Casper. Mint was his favourite. She always made sure to get a few leaves on her way.
Giggling with Casper tailing her, closing in, she sprinted around the trees, dived through bushes, soared over rocks. For now, she’d enjoy herself. For now, Killing Day didn’t matter.
Turning the corner, Stonegaze skidded to a halt. The stream was before her, clear blue in the sun, with many fish and plants dotted between rocks smoothed by time. It twisted towards her, then away again, with a little sandy bank at the side that she’d claimed as her own. Splodge wasn’t there, though. He was, instead, suspended above the water, the tiny waves teasing his tail as he struggled in a grip of wispy black.
“Alec, put him down!” she screamed just as Casper rounded the corner. “Don’t hurt him!”
The Shadow glared at his brother. He had disappointment in his eyes. As if he was ever not disappointed in her.
You allowed her to keep a pet, dear brother. No wonder she won’t kill.
Put him down, Alec, Casper demanded. He stood in front of Stone, acting like a shield.
You let her keep a pet when she’s meant to become a merciless killer, and now look at her! Alec threw his paw towards her and she flinched.
She’s little more than a puppy!
Casper growled. His fists clenched.
I let her keep a pet because she’s a child!
Splodge struggled in the tightening grasp, and Stone whimpered.
She shouldn’t have pets!
“Put him down, Alec!” she sobbed. She went to free him from his grip, but Casper held her back. “You’re hurting him!”
He turned his glare onto her. Although she felt like hiding behind Casper and letting him fight for her, she didn’t. Instead, she shook off his paw, head high, and glared back. She could feel a slight thrum in her mind that almost felt like pride. It was Casper.
“Put. Him. Down.” Stone enunciated every word with a step closer, until she was on the opposite bank to Alec. One lesson she’d learnt from him; act brave, even if you don’t feel it. That was what she did.
Half expecting him to let the fish drop into the lake, she was surprised when she saw the smoke almost consume Splodge. Alec smiled mercilessly.
Your pet’s going to have to suffer for you, isn’t he?
Before he could kill the squirming fish, Casper leapt from behind her and tackled his brother to the ground. The grip on Splodge went away, and he tumbled back under the water. Whilst the brothers brawled, hissed, scratched like feral familiars, Stone went straight to her fish, gently stroking his scales to soothe his anxiety. He was happy to be back under the water, that she knew.
Digging deep into her little belt bag, she pulled out a strip of mint leaf and handed it to Splodge. She had to help him eat it, reassuring him that she wasn’t going to hurt him, and eventually he tugged the mint away from her and ate it with a few huge gulps. Stonegaze smiled, but it didn’t last long.
A gash, long and deep, stretched across Splodge’s side, reaching for his translucent tail fin. It must’ve happened when he fell, or perhaps as he was dragged out.
Rage overcame her senses. It was dark and depthless, unlike the red that normal dragons would see. A cold rushed over her nerves, stilling them. Splodge was hurt, she thought, balling her paws into fists. No one hurts Splodge.
Stone, honey, what are you doing? Casper spoke, but he sounded panicked. It wasn’t like him to be anything but gentle, harmless even. Wondering why, she looked up from Splodge and shrieked.
Alec was in the air above Casper, struggling against arms of black that wasn’t his. A clawed paw held him up by his neck, choking him of much needed air. More darkness swept around him, scratching at his eyes and his feet, keeping him from touching the ground. It shrieked, it squirmed, and it was Stonegaze’s. So loud was the shouting that it nearly deafened her. She put her paws to her ears and screamed.
As soon as she did, it dissipated and Alec fell, collapsing onto his knees in the water, panting. Casper didn’t go over to him. The younger twin came rushing towards her, splashing through the lake. He was careful of Splodge, sending a fraction of his own magic to bind his wound. He swept her up into his arms as soon as he got close enough.
It took her a few seconds to realise she was crying.
It’s okay, he whispered in her mind.
It’s not your fault.
He kept saying it—“It’s okay”, “it’s alright”, “it’s not your fault”—repeatedly, even when Alec stormed towards them, a look of infinite fury on his face.
Stop treating her like a child, he snarled. He didn’t move closer than a few feet away from her.
She is
a child, if you hadn’t noticed, Casper snapped back, holding Stone close to him.
This whole trial is idiotic!
That’s because you were killed—
Her favourite Shadow snorted. It wasn’t kind.
More like murdered by my own brother.
You don’t deny it.
I do, wholeheartedly. This trial is too much to ask of a child.
Alec sneered at his brother and glared at Stonegaze. Only now did she shrink away, burying her face into Casper’s smoky chest. She could almost hear his anger boil in his soul.
She better control her magic within the next few years, Alec said, his voice softer.
Or else everyone will be after her on the battlefield.[
Casper didn’t respond. He, just like Stonegaze, didn’t want to think about the battlefield she’d have to run across, fight across, kill across.
Just like that, he disappeared to a world that Stonegaze was a part of but couldn’t see. It was a world roaming with Shadows, where Casper and Alec would retire to when she was asleep. Maybe she’d be able to see it one day.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Stone mumbled between hiccups.
I know, Stone, Casper reassured her, stroking her mane.
I know.
-2-
The torch she held didn’t offer much for her eyes to consume, just more rocks and old mine cart tracks. Disappointment washed over her. She half expected this part of the mine to be full to the brim with gorgeous jewels for her to hoard, but nothing turned up. Just more stone and even more rusted metal for her to feast her eyes on.
Casper was with her to see her pout, as per usual. In the years gone by since they escaped, he’d become more refined in his appearance. As had Alec. With the younger twin, you could make out the gangly antlers on his head, the mane that swept back into a ponytail, the ancient marks of an old Accent for battle. Alec looked similar to him, but with scars popping out against the smoothness of his face. Even their eye colour had become apparent; Casper’s was a soft golden that got brighter with the dying sun, whilst Alec’s were faceted like a fly’s, sharpening his vision in the darkness and able to resist the winds far longer than Stonegaze’s ever could.
They called themselves Jailers, an ancient breed long since disappeared, but they spelled it differently. She couldn’t remember how.
They walked through the winding tunnels of the abandoned mine in a comfortable quiet. Alec wasn’t here to start up a fight, and the two of them enjoyed the slight pattering of water against rock that seemed to radiate endlessly around the caves. No matter where they went, it followed, and over time had become a soothing sound to hear on a night.
At some point, unable to fathom how long they’d been walking, they came to a dead end. Stone groaned into the silence and sulked.
Is something wrong? Casper inquired in her head. She saw him **** his head in question, the ponytail of his falling to one side.
“I was hoping to find more gems,” she scowled, though it wasn’t aimed at him.
I think someone’s being spoilt.
“I blame you for that.”
Casper snorted and turned to go back the way they came. Stonegaze followed, keeping close to him. Although it wasn’t easy to get lost after living in the same mine for almost fifty years, you could turn for a split second and Casper would disappear, his dark shape becoming one with the shadows. It’d happened more times than she would like to admit.
“How do you think Alec’s doing?” she asked her best friend. Not too long ago, she’d been practicing with him and beat him to a pulp. She could proudly admit she was getting stronger, but what that meant for her Shadows, she didn’t know. It was why she never used her magic unless it was for an emergency. The screams she’d heard when she was ten never truly left her alone.
I think he’s proud of you, surprisingly, he said simply.
You’re doing extremely well.
“Well, yeah, but I kinda nearly knocked him out.”
That was the funny bit.
Stonegaze laughed, and it echoed down the halls of the mine. “You’re
horrible to your poor brother.”
Casper turned on her quickly, making her jump.
Poor? He killed
me! If anything, I’m the poor one.
She grinned at him. “Awec is a poor baby.”
He raised his eyebrow, a smile playing at his lips.
Awec?
“Awec ish a poor bubby.”
I hate that, stop it.
“Poor baby Awec!”
I will slaughter you.
“Pwease don’t do that, Awec would kill you.”
Casper glared at her, but did no more. She snickered in the face of his irritation.
You’re the worst, he told her matter-of-factly, shaking his head. His smirk was visible beneath the permanently loose curls of his mane.
“I wonder what Alec would think to his new name,” she sang, skipping off into the halls of black.
I think he’d hate you more than anyone else ever could.
“Should I tell him?”
Please do.
Grinning, she and Casper made their way back to the main part of the mine. It was long since abandoned, the wood supports beginning to rot away with frequent flooding. An old elevator shaft stood in the centre, even older mine carts littering the floor around it. Whether they’d been dumped on the way down or had been scattered by waves, she couldn’t tell, but she loved sitting in them sometimes and imagining what it was like to work in a mine. Dangerous, spooked, covered in soot but speeding down railways in a rickety mine cart sounded like the time of her life. Casper never let her do that, though. Not with how many rails were now torn up from the waves. He was boring sometimes.
They reached the centre and took one of the many ways back to their little camp. It was like being in a massive city centre, like in the Starwood Forest, but covered in stone and with barely breathable air. Unless you knew where you were going, each way looked the same.
On their short walk back to the camp, Stonegaze let her little Minion roam free. They were formed from compressed magic, Alec informed her once, and weren’t unlike Shadows in regards to no one else but Darkbringers, Torches and familiars could see them. However, they weren’t dead. They’d never lived. Instead, they were merely creatures formed from the pits of one’s magic.
She’d called hers Minnie. Even though they had no discernible sex, she thought it was appropriate because of her size. Plus, she was cuter than the rest that she’d seen, with massive red eyes that glistened like rubies and a short, pointed tongue she’d use to blep at her companions. A bit daft, but cute nonetheless.
By daft, Minnie—instead of exploring—would perch on Stonegaze’s shoulder and purr, content by her master’s side.
She doesn’t want to be away from Momma, Casper once joked a while ago – a while being five years ago.
He wasn’t wrong, even now as Minnie curled around her neck and snoozed, her oilslick skin glistening in the torchlight.
“She’s quite cute,” Stone thought aloud, gently petting her Minion, “for a literal demon.”
Is she cuter than me?
She sneered at Casper. “A
lot cuter than you.”
He opened his mouth to retort when a crash sounded ahead of them. It couldn’t have been Alec, right? He knew better than to make loud noises in a mine that carried on for miles, surely.
Still, she thought she should ask. “Who do you think that was?”
She was proven right, Casper’s panic shining through.
It won’t have been Alec, he whispered, even though his voice wouldn’t carry towards the culprit of the noise.
He’s still asleep.
Stonegaze shuddered. It wasn’t cold in the mine, not even close, but the thought of having someone else in her home, of scarring someone else… she hated the thought of it. She hoped it was just a rat. Maybe an enormous, hairy, mutant rat that knocked over a mine cart with malicious intent.
They carried on, quieter now, their footfalls barely audible, towards the source of the noise which was—luckily—away from their tiny set up in a deep pit of the mine. Unluckily, it was where her precious hoard stayed, untouched by the water that rushed through many of the different pathways of the mineshaft.
Through a stone arch covered with ancient marks from ancient pickaxes sat the Oasis. They called it that for the pool of deep crystal water that sat in its centre, a mound of crystals dumped beside it in some reckless attempt in sorting them long before Stonegaze had ever set foot in there. She may not have started it, but as far as she was aware, she’d damn well finished it. Each gem meant something special to her, whether it had a quirk in the shape or whether Minnie had found it and brought it to her with glimmering hope in her eyes. Even the twins had found some, adding to it in their own time as she slept. She could name each gem with her eyes closed, just by how they felt or by their weight, and stacked them carefully into a pyramid as tall as Alec.
Now, her gems were all over the floor and in the pool with two dragons poking their noses through the gems. One of them was a Snapper, his great, bulky jaw sticking out with edges sharp enough to slice through wood. He was an ugly brown colour, like the dirt beneath him. Swirls of ice blue with dashes of orange coiled along his sides and arms as if trapped beneath the scales. The muscles on his arms and legs made her think of a musclebuilder back at her old home with the Shade.
They didn’t help him survive.
The other was a Wildclaw, and a snotty looking one at that. He would pick up each gem, inspect it as if he knew what he was looking at and throw it aside, each crack of the jewels breaking against the rock making Stonegaze’s blood boil. He wore a cape and a funny looking hat, both tinted orange to match his skin. A ring of fire danced around his head in his search. It lit up the jewels around him, the light dancing on their rims and shooting off into all sorts of directions. Even the water reflected the ring of flame, wavering it into what looked like the Eye of the Firebringer.
“Those are
my gems,” she hissed through her teeth. Minnie licked her cheek comfortingly.
Casper didn’t respond, instead eyeing the two males with apprehension. When Shadows were debating the best tactical advantage in a situation, their eyes seemed to flicker in their black and misty shape. Casper was no different, and the tension in his smoky figure told her enough. They didn’t belong here. They needed to leave before they could get hurt, either by her or by Alec.
I’ll take the fatter one, he told her, still whispering.
You take Fancy Pants.
Stonegaze nodded. Spying a stalagmite big enough to hide her, she made her way towards it and shrouded herself in pitch black. Over the course of her magic training, she’d learnt how to make herself one with shadows, like Casper could. Her ability stopped there.
Casper didn’t bother being sneaky. Of course, he didn’t need to. The others couldn’t see him. He stood beside the Snapper and nodded towards her, paw at the ready to choke him of his oxygen.
Before she could respond, a burst of light shot through the cave and bounded towards Casper. A Silhouette.
The Deities damned Silhouette started both of the males. Stonegaze charged for her assigned one, Fancy Pants. She knew that her best friend could take the Silhouette on with his paws behind his back, so all she had to worry about were the intruders.
Fatty noticed her first, and screamed. It must’ve been the eyes. Each eye littering her neck and trailing all the way down to her tail appeared alongside her magic. They were the eyes of the Tortured that her magic consisted of, all rolling in their temporary sockets and narrowing at the sight of the disrespectful Snapper.
She leapt for him; claws outstretched, she missed narrowly, a dagger swinging just above her head. Dodging, she steadied herself on the balls of her feet and ran for them. She aimed for the armed male—Fancy Pants—and roared a battle cry worthy of a war as she barrelled into him, sending his dagger flying.
Minnie was in the air, harassing Fatty with her talons and screams of the undead. Casper screamed with her. The Silhouette went flying across the Oasis, landing with a splash in the water.
The male shoved Stonegaze to the side and she felt the side of her face go numb upon him slapping her with the end of his tail. Light danced in her eyes, and she felt her magic disperse at the tips of her digits. Her cheek throbbed and her head pounded. Why she thought attacking was a good idea escaped her.
Minnie’s distressed screech shook her master out of her confusion. Wobbling slightly, Stonegaze stood up to see the two males attacking her Minion. They were on the other side of the Oasis, Fancy Pants swinging his dagger blindly in her direction as Fatty clawed at her tail, trying to keep her pinned.
Do it, a voice she didn’t recognise whispered in her head, a clawed hand stroking her mind.
Casper’s in trouble, and so is Minnie. Do it.
Stonegaze braved a glance towards Casper. The voice was right. The Silhouette, a female as tall as Alec and looking built from steel herself with muscles that poked out along her arms. She held a blade in her glowing, wispy grasp, swinging it with deadly precision unlike Fancy Pants.
You won’t be able to save him, otherwise, it hissed.
Hesitantly, she let her magic loose. A depthless cold stripped her of her warmth, trickling through her veins like water to the tips of her digits. It swirled in her stomach, fogged up her mind. Every time she used her magic, which wasn’t often, it was a constant battle of keeping her magic in check. Each time got harder.
Within seconds, she was wrapped in shadows, her eyes a blazing red against the black and piercing through the cloud like spears. Arms of smoke reached out from her, screams filled her ear. They nearly deafened her. Writhing in eternal pain, they remained in the air, claws waiting to tear skin from muscle, to hurt others for their own infinite agony.
“What in the name of the Deities?” shrieked one of the males, staring into her mass of eyes that once again cluttered her body from the neck to her tail. Through them, she could see his confusion and fear. Through them, she relished in their recoil as she closed in on them.
“Bad move,” she hissed through licking her lips, though it wasn’t her voice. Where hers was soft, this one was gravely like the ground around them. It was many voices mixed into one, some whispering, others shouting. “Everyone knows not to look a predator in the eyes.”
With an unearthly cry, she launched herself at the unsuspecting males.
Keep it together, she told herself as her mind strained beneath the pressure. So many souls pulling in different direction wasn’t good for one’s sanity.
Don’t kill them, just scare them. Keep it together! Think of Casper, and Splodge, and Minnie. Keep it together.
The souls didn’t listen. While she tried to keep them at bay, the mental leashes keeping them with her on the verge of snapping, she could feel Casper’s battering by the Silhouette and Minnie trying to help him. The poor dear couldn’t do much, that much was obvious, but Stonegaze hoped it would make a difference.
Her focus was beginning to crack like glass. The eyes of the Tortured focused on Fancy Pants’ blade. He’d discarded it in his run and left it to clatter to the floor. Looking at it, it was as useful as a chocolate teapot, and yet each one of the poor souls trapped within her grasp tried to reach for it. Maybe it could set them free.
Either way, she began to reel them in, back into the depths of her magic pool.
Their choir of screaming shattered her attempts. The cold became increasingly unbearable.
Keep it together keep it together keepittogetherkeeptogether. She couldn’t think. What was her coping mechanism again? She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t even breathe. Darkness consumed her, blocking her view, going beyond her reach. It was like she was falling into an infinite abyss, helpless to get out. She clawed at her head. Stop! She screamed and cried. They wouldn’t listen. They wanted freedom. Now was their chance to get it.
Stonegaze fell to her knees and sobbed. She wanted it to stop. She tried to stop them, to throw them off course, but it was no use. These souls were stronger, willing to sacrifice her and her sanity for their freedom.
Freedom! It was all they roared, expanding through the depths of the Oasis to find it. Stop, please! Far away, in another land, a cry sounded out. It sounded like one of the males, but they ran off. She tried to focus on it, to let it travel to her own ears and settle her. They wouldn’t let it happen, screeching to block it out. Her mind, her very being, strained on their ties to her, breaking her alongside them. Away went her damper, her soothing thoughts – whatever they had been. Just cold, infinite darkness accompanied her. No identity, no memories, just a husk of someone former falling through an endless well of pitch black water.
It’s okay, a voice whispered amongst the chaos. Somehow, it was louder than the screams of the deceased, as if it was right into her ear.
It’s alright. It’s not your fault.
“It’s not my fault?” she heard herself say. She sounded younger. A softer voice, more like a chime.
Of course not, sweetheart, he said to her. The ghost of a paw stroked through her mane.
You just need to control it.
“He hurt Splodge.” Who was this he? She could barely think straight.
I know, and that was mean of him.
Splodge. Who was Splodge again? Who was the voice? Memories flashed before her, too quick to spy. She panicked. It was a mixture of golds and oranges and whites and… a lake!
“Do you think he’ll come back?”
I think he will. You’re nice to him.
She giggled. It was a tinkling sound amongst the infinite screaming. “Because I feed him his favourite food?”
The male chuckled, and realisation hit her. Casper was speaking to her. Where was he? It was too dark. She couldn’t see him, could only hear his voice from long ago. She wanted to know he was okay.
He sure does love his mint, doesn’t he, Stonegaze?
Mint! She almost screamed it, using that one word as a baton against the waves of black. Splodge lived in the lake, and loved mint. She remembered it now, going down there early every morning to feed him some mint leaves and talk to him and he swam about amongst the reeds—she stopped. Splodge, he swam.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. Splodge was her pet fish!
The screaming died down slowly, the roaring in her ears lifting. She could think again.
Splodge. Her dinky little canvas fish, one who’d calmed her whenever she felt angry or upset. He’d even brought her pebbles, smoothed from years of abuse from the waves which she’d put into her gauntlets to replace the fire Opals.
Fire Opals were part of her old house, no longer cementing her to a future of misery. A noble Shade, one who ran at the first opportunity, unashamed of her decision. She was Stonegaze, her best friend was Casper and she had a pet fish called Splodge who loved mint. She was Stonegaze, a goddess of darkness in a world of peace, and she wasn’t about to yield to her own power.
The darkness turned to ash, whipping away with some imaginary wind. Her warmth returned and exploded in her veins in little pinpricks until goosebumps rose above the skin, covering her. She could finally see the cave again with her own two eyes. Whatever she’d expected it to look like, it was the complete opposite of what she found.
The two males were definitely gone, much to her relief. Only the strange orange hat remained, stained with soot and dirt. However, the hat didn’t bother her. It was the state of the Oasis that made her heart sink; the water was disturbed by large shards of rocks from the souls, the jewels all damaged or broken beyond repair. Only one remained, and she made a note to pick it up later. The entrance that the two males had come through was now blocked off, the blade buried into the rock. A fire opal blade, ironically. One used for rituals. No wonder the souls were after it.
She stood up on shaking legs and hugged herself. In the midst of the destruction, she couldn’t see Casper. It was almost pitch black. Minnie was alright; she was floating around, mewling like a lost kitten. Upon seeing Stonegaze, her tiny red eyes lit up and despite herself, she grinned. Being smothered in licks and nibbles from her Minion soothed her, though not by much.
“Casper?” she cried into the darkness, stepping carefully. “Casper, where are you?”
Nothing responded.
“Cas!”
Still nothing except for Minnie’s worried rumble.
Panic seized her. “Casper!” she called again, rushing around the Oasis with little more than sound and feel to go by. “CASPER!”
A soft drip sounded beside the water and Stonegaze made her way towards it, hissing through the shards of jewel that scraped and stabbed her feet. Minnie went ahead for her as she struggled. Her playful screeches weren’t comforting.
Splodge was, of course, the source of the sound. He seemed to be nibbling on something black and flaky on the water’s surface, more and more of it clumping towards the other side of the pool.
Ignoring Minnie’s teasing purrs and Splodge’s splashing, she crept over to the other side, crossing her digits. She hoped that Casper was there, and that he wasn’t the source of the ashes. After all, that’s how Shadows ‘died’ after death; they’re granted an afterlife after no one knows how long of suffering through the pain of their death, but only after slowly turning to ash. Quite a horrible end, if you asked her.
Our pain can turn us insane, sometimes, Alec told her once, on his nicer days.
We don’t stop feeling it, that you know, and if we died in a horrible circumstance, it never truly fades away. Casper was lucky in that respect.
Her muffled sob broke Minnie’s and Splodge’s incoherent conversation.
Casper was on his back, barely moving. Ash flew from his stomach in bits and pieces, the rest of him mostly untouched. He’d no doubt been hit there by something, possibly the Silhouette’s blade. It smelt like burning flesh, despite him having none on his wispy form, and she gagged. The sound of it drew his attention to her.
Hey, princess, he said, smiling. His voice was little more than a meek whisper. It broke her heart.
She didn’t know how to respond. She settled at his side, legs tucked under her, and began to cry.
Don’t cry, poppet, he pleaded, his paw reaching for hers in her lap. Most of his digits were already half gone.
Come on. I’ll be alright.
“No you won’t,” Stonegaze growled through her tears. “Don’t lie.”
Casper frowned up at her. A few flakes of ash fell from his face with the movement.
I thought it’d make you smile.
Despite the situation, she snorted. “Idiot.”
Then her best friend had one of the silliest ideas imaginable. Maybe pain really did make you do weird things.
Why don’t you give me your biggest smile, eh?
When she didn’t answer, instead biting her lip so that she kept quiet, he continued.
Come on, I’ll do it with you.
“Shut up, Cas.”
Smile for me! Please?
Reluctantly, she did. It pained her to smile, and it faltered when he smile back, more tears spilling down her cheeks.
Casper grinned and poked at her side, her skin prickling under his touch and making her snicker. She hated herself for it.
You need to smile better!
When she didn’t, he continued. He tickled her until her laughter echoed endlessly around the Oasis and Casper’s reverberated in her mind. He still went on, smirking with relentlessness, even when her sides began to ache. Her smile was the biggest it’d been in months.
His touch softened, giving her a breather. Whilst his smile never wavered, whilst his voice was still as soft as silk, his eyes went cold and serious.
Can you promise me something, munchkin?
Stonegaze nodded. She could barely talk as she fell onto her side, breathlessly giggling.
His smile grew, his paw ruffling her mane.
Give them hell, yeah?
Nodding, she panted, “I promise.”
That’s when he started his onslaught of tickles again, sending Stonegaze into a frenzy of laughing. She forgot about the world around her. The mess of the cave, the state of her best friend, the lollygagging of her two pets; it all became nonexistent. Distant. She was a child again, tackled to the ground after a race to the outskirts of their territory. That day, she laughed until her voice was hoarse, rolled around until the paws stopped attacking her sides, her neck.
That day was the first and last day that the two twins loved her equally. Stonegaze savoured it ever since.
Some part of her wanted to believe that this was all a dream. Part of her wanted to believe she was back at home, if she could begin to call it that. Another part of her knew what he was doing, but she ignored it. For now, she was 19 years old and spending time with her best friend, whose touch softened by the minute.
Wait...
I love you, Stonegaze, Casper whispered in her mind.
Then the tickling stopped.
“Casper?” She could barely get his name out into the open, the chortles catching the words in her throat.
When he didn’t answer, she sat up, a grin settled on her face. She half expected him to be sticking his tongue out at her and laughing at her for being such a worry-wuss, but he was still. His eyes were staring into hers, and she waited for him to blink, for his smile to turn into a frown or even for one of his ears to flick—an amusing old habit of his to display his grievances towards his brother—in irritation.
Nothing happened.
She waited a few minutes until pain, sudden and deep, crashed through her system. It was reality hitting her like a ton of bricks. At first, she didn’t know what to do, what to feel. Tears burst from her eyes, a heavy weight of sadness pulling her heart into her stomach. She let herself cry. He’d distracted her deliberately. Of course, he had. He wouldn’t want her last memories with him to be anything but bittersweet.
She sat with him, Minnie nuzzling him causelessly, Splodge blubbing aimlessly, until there was nothing but an ashy outline of where he’d been. With a heavy heart, she then carried a small amount of him safely back to the camp in her amulet, where Alec was still asleep.
-3-
The Oasis was still a mess, and she hated it, but at least it was less so now that they’d spent most of their spare time—which was almost all day—cleaning it up. Splodge had a pool to swim around in again, the giant rocks used to clog more entrances, and Minnie had her own little hideout pummelled into the wall beside the pool.
Ever since the incident, Stonegaze didn’t have the heart to infuse her little Minion. She’d grown so close to the little fish that she always felt a pang of sadness from her whenever they parted ways, so Alec let her make a small home for her. The happiness that radiated from her for that week was enough to make her scoop Minnie up and nuzzle her head.
It’s sad that most of those gems got crushed, Alec muttered, fiddling with a shard of a ruby. The surface of it held millions of tiny scratches. She couldn’t tell if it’d been caused by the fight or not.
They were worth tons.
“As if I would’ve let you sell them,” Stonegaze hissed playfully.
Alec snorted and threw it onto a pile of shards. They didn’t know what they were going to do with them, however she was beginning to think along the line of jewellery. Maybe she could upgrade her gauntlets that way.
What are we going to do about that blade?
For a second, she didn’t know what he was talking about and went about scraping up some more shards. Most of them were sapphires, and she frowned at them. Her favourite gems were sapphires; all but one became shards during the fight.
A pommel hit her in the back of the head. “Ow!”
You didn’t answer me.
Grumbling, she turned. She was rubbing absentmindedly at the back of her head when she noticed he’d thrown the ritual blade at her.
She hadn’t taken a proper look at it since Casper died, but it was truly a work of art. Blue split down the middle of the blade, with whites and reds mixing with it to create a beautiful array of shades. The edge of it shone with fiery orange, lighting it up in the darkness of the Oasis with only torchlight to help them, and wood from an ancient tree long since cut down became the handle, animal’s teeth used as grips for between the digits.
If she was ever going to die, she wanted to die on this blade.
You’re staring, Alec mused, coming up beside her.
It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?
“It really is.”
What do you want to do with it?
She opened her mouth to answer—“Sell it on the market, perhaps we can get a good amount of money for it”—but the screaming in her mind cut her off, giving her an immediate headache.
Free us! Free us!
Her grimace sent Alec prowling through her mind, shutting them up. Even the most furious of the souls quietened. They both presumed most of the Tortured were once soldiers under him, or at least knew who he was.
Alec shook his head sadly, crossing his arms.
They really want that blade, don’t they. He turned to her, his icy eyes softening.
Are you okay?
“Yeah,” she muttered, panting slightly and clutching her head. Her brain pounded behind her skull, trying to break through it.
Maybe you could use it to control them.
Stonegaze started but said nothing. He was right. He knew he was.
It’d help you with them, since they want it so badly.
Casper popped into her mind then, his last smile plastered on his lips.
Give them hell, yeah?
She hugged herself and shook her head with a grimace. She couldn’t tell if it was guilt or pain. It was cruel to do such a thing, but if she wanted to get the Silhouette back for taking Casper away from them…
No. She refused to become that kind of being.
With a shrug, Alec got back to work. He wasn’t exactly emotional, other than spending most nights sobbing beside his twin’s makeshift grave beside the Oasis pool, and so he couldn’t comfort her in the way that Casper used to. Instead of cuddles and warm words, he’d tell her jokes and funny stories from his past and what he’s heard around in different lairs. It was his way of coping as much as hers right now.
Stonegaze went back to work too, but temptation stirred. Part of her desperately wanted to find the Silhouette and make her suffer, but her conscience fought against it. By giving them hell, surely he didn’t mean torture or stripping her of everything she loved. Right? And by using her magic, she’d been pushing the Tortured to do her bidding, which wasn’t fair on them.
She picked the ritual blade up from the ground and held it in her paw. The weight of it was perfect, no matter what you did with it. She couldn’t help herself. For a split second, she debated letting the Tortured free, demanding their loyalty for their eventual—
No.
Throwing the blade aside and wiping her hands as if she’d just handled something dirty, Stonegaze walked over to the pool and cursed herself out. She promised herself, she promised Casper, that she’d never become a monster, that she’d always let her heart come first.
Damn your heart, Stonegaze. That Silhouette shouldn’t live.
It wasn’t Alec who said that. He’d gone to pick up the blade she chucked, testing it out himself.
As she stared on, walking into the pool until the water lapped around her ankles, it hissed again.
Alec will help, you know. He’d get revenge, so why don’t you?
She didn’t answer, instead ignoring it as one of the Tortured as she waded into the middle of the pool and stroked Splodge, who weaved in and out between her legs and blubbed. Stonegaze didn’t care about getting herself wet. She needed the coolness of the pool to focus, anyway.
You know you want to.
“Silence!” Her voice echoed strangely as she yelled, almost like she was enclosed, but her attention snapped back to the presence that danced in the corner of her mind.
It laughed, but not at her.
No, Stone. I need to talk to you.
She looked for Alec in the Oasis, but they weren’t there anymore. Just pitch black.
“Where am I?”
Your mind, sweetness.
“What do you mean?”
The voice sighed.
You promise me you’d give it hell. Why aren’t you?
Stonegaze bit back her ready, snarly response, the weight of the words falling upon her. It said ‘me’, not ‘him’. “Casper?”
In front of her, the figure came into view, a faint outline of white accompanying him to set him out from the black. He was in colour; he looked
real in her mind. A Jailer, one who stood taller than herself. Glasses, a coat, and a gaping hole in his stomach; it was definitely him.
“You promised, Stonegaze,” he told her, his voice wavering. “It’s been a month.”
“I’ll do it,” she whined, “just give me time!”
“A month is more than long enough.”
“I don’t want to be cruel, Casper. You know this!”
He shoved his paws into his pockets. “I know, sweetheart, but Alec was right. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.”
Her heart dropped into her stomach. He couldn’t be serious.
But he was. “I know that you would much rather hide away,” he muttered, sounding guilty for his words, “but if you don’t do something, a Silhouette could easily come by and kill you. Hell, even your own Tortured could kill you if they were to break free.”
“But you killed that one Silhouette, right?”
Casper shook his head. His ears flattened against his tied-back mane. “I couldn’t, all because I didn’t have the heart to. I should’ve, though.”
“Cas…”
“She’s gone back and told her master,” he continued. “There’s no doubt about that, so it’s about time you took on the role you were meant to.”
She snorted, immediately hating herself for being unkind to him. “You sound
just like your brother.”
“Because he’s right, poppet. They found us—they’ve found
you—and you need to protect yourself.”
“I’ll just run—”
“Don’t you get it?” His voice rose to a desperate yell, and she couldn’t help but back away. It wasn’t like him to be angry. “This island—Sornieth—is
full of Torches. They’ll find you no matter where you run.”
Stonegaze didn’t answer. He was right, but she didn’t want to believe it. She hated it when he was right.
“Please, Stone,” he pleaded. “You can’t just run forever.”
“Can I not bargain with them?”
“What would you offer? They have everything we don’t; armies, food, shelter,
options. There’s nothing you have that they don’t.”
“They don’t have an insider.”
Casper smiled a sad smile. “You don’t know their plans, sweetness. You never joined their army, you never knew their locations.”
“But I know where they’re based—”
“They won’t be based there anymore, not after you escaped two-hundred years ago, and they’ll have left no traces.” He snorted, crossing his arms in distaste. “They might be the enemy of just about everyone, including their own soldiers, but they’re not idiots.”
Stonegaze growled at herself, at Casper, at the world. “I don’t
want to kill, or to harm.”
“I know.”
“So I’m not going to do it.”
“Stone, they’ll kill you!”
She realised what he meant just as she felt the world rock around her. A splash sounded, and water began to rise around her, even in her mind. Her body had fallen into the pool. Sinking.
“I don’t want you to die so young, Stone,” Casper said.
“So you’re drowning me?” she shrieked, heart torn in every way possible.
“I’m not drowning you. I’d never do that, and you know it.” He hesitated. He was telling the truth. “It’s the souls.”
Her heart skipped a beat. He let the souls free, knowing what it would do to her.
“Promise me, Stone.”
“Promise you
what?”
He walked up to her and had the audacity to throw his arms around her. As he spoke, he sounded choked with tears. “Promise me you won’t let yourself go. I love you and I want you to live, if not thrive.”
“And yet you’re letting the very thing that could turn me insane
free?” She could hear her cries from outside her mind, alongside Alec shouting her name. He sounded distant, almost inaudible over the souls that scratched at her mind with their eternal, pained screaming.
“I didn’t set them free,” he told her, holding her at arm’s length. Tears were swimming in his soft, golden eyes. “I know what they can do to you, but you were warned about their strength, Stonegaze. Alec himself warned you. They’re not going to stay in captivity again.”
STONEGAZE!
With a gasp, she was back in her own body and inhaled a mouthful of water. She stood up instantly, choking and gasping and spluttering. The water fell around her, soaking the tiny rock shards dancing around her thighs, as she doubled over and retched until she was sure the water had left her system. Unsurprisingly enough, she didn’t feel cold. It was her magic at work.
Stone, Alec cried, standing to her left and rubbing at her back. He held the ritual blade in his paw.
What happened? You just collapsed.
“Casper,” she choked out, trying not to throw up.
Casper? Hon, I’m not—
“Give me the blade.”
Alec hesitated.
What are you going to do with it?
She stared at him, and he handed it over slowly. Nothing but cold, nothing but emptiness.
Stone, Alec said, evidently worried,
what happened? Why did you say my brother’s name?
Stonegaze ignored him. Instead, she turned and held the blade out towards the cloud of black that loitered behind them. They hissed and screamed, reaching for it. They never got close enough.
Stone—
“Not now, Alec,” she growled. She felt bad for being horrible to him, but she had to keep her composure. “I’ve got Torches to find.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but her stare shut him up.
“Tortured,” she began, walking confidently towards them. It was strange, and she loved it. “My brothers and sisters long since dead at the paws of those against us, I need your help.” Just as they began screeching at her for suggesting such a thing, she pointed the blade towards them. It caught the sun, the edge shining as if it was fresh out of a blacksmith’s furnace. They quietened instantly, and she grinned. “In return for helping me hunt down every
single Torch, you’ll earn your freedom.”
They muttered amongst themselves at her inquiry. Stonegaze chose to wait, running her digits along the edge of her new blade. She’d use this to ensure their loyalty, for however long that may be.
How can we trust you? they said collectively.
Mustering up some level of emotion, she managed a sweet smile and a soft voice. Happiness and trusting; things she didn’t feel. “I never go back on my word, my dears.”
After a few seconds, they reluctantly agreed and obeyed her command, their eyes staring at the blade with longing for the day that they could achieve peace. Most of them slinked into the shadows, never to set foot near a mortal unless given permission, with the most skilled of the bunch staying by her side.
She’d get revenge for them all.
In the water, she could see her reflection. The grin that tugged at her mouth at the sight of it was nothing short of menacing. Paws and arms of pitch black coiled around her feathered wings, eyes permanently stained a deep blood red splattering along her neck, back and tail with slits deeper than the Shade’s reach of magic. She could control them, now. They didn’t roll into all directions, searching for a way to break free.
Whoever this new Stonegaze was, she relished in her confidence.
Alec stopped her from walking away, a paw on her shoulder.
You know there’s no coming back from this, don’t you?
She snorted, her mouth pulled into a twisted smile. “Oh, darling, being the good girl just got boring."
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